Barking Carnival

Apparently the Faculty Senate at A&M, previously best known for successfully blending togas and Carhartts during floor deliberations, passed a resolution yesterday that results in a vote of ‘No Confidence’ for current Chancellor Mike McKinney. You may remember McKinney from Taylor’s excellent piece on the subject a few weeks ago. You may have also emailed [...]

AP- A late breaking story from Houston surfaced this earlier week that appears to confirm the rumors that the current Tennessee Titans backup quarterback, Vincent Young, is secretly African American. Allegations of suspected blackness have followed the troubled young quarterback throughout his career; his jocularity, frequent idiomatic usage of the word “dog”, the alleged [...]

No, it’s not the Stanley cup finals. Though if you think about it, The Narcoleptics would be an awesome name for a hockey team. Maybe put then in Nassau for the alliteration. Or Nashville. In fact if you fielded an entire team of narcoleptics I’d probably pay to watch hockey. The occasional random syncopal episode [...]

Terrible peril. Want a little peril you say? No. It’s too perilous.
Let me explain.
My second longest running internal debate is rather personal, but since Barking Carnival is such a community of nurturing individuals- communurturers, if you will- I feel okay discussing it here with all of you. I have long suffered from the [...]

In the ‘I should no longer be surprised by the ways DeLoss Dodds can make money but somehow still am. Surprised.’ category, UT will be selling off the field after the scrimmage next week.
Statesman Article
Fans can buy a 12-inch by 12-inch square of grass for $20. There will be 57,600 available for purchase, and [...]

One of my longest running internal debates is whether or not I’m gay.
I actually didn’t write that, one of my colleagues did while I was on break. I decided to leave it in for the manifold enjoyments it might offer our readers; in that my bit of it remains a nicely turned phrase, it’s a [...]

Thinking of traveling this winter, taking a vacation with friends and family? We’d like to take this opportunity to invite you to make the trip of a lifetime. You know you’ve been thinking about it. It’s time to take that trip you’ve always wanted, but have never found the time. Do it now, while you [...]

In perhaps the largest Futile Aggie Boycott Gesture in recorded history, Texas Rep. Joe Barton has sponsored a bill to make the coronation of a national champion by the BCS system illegal, in contradistinction from it’s current status as simply immoral. Readers might remember Rep. Barton from his controversial “Sell Oklahoma to the Japs” bill [...]

Got here early this time. Nothing is really happening. Everyone is just kind of looking around.
DeLoss is wearing a white shirt/ black sweater combo, tortoise shell glasses, and a Tag Heuer. He just sat down, looked around, then looked around some more. Shuffled some papers. I’d play some Bloons but my phone is out [...]

Raise your hand if you’ve seen more than a quarter of Baylor football this season. Yeah, me neither. Hopefully some of our NCAA fantasy football geeks who have been paying closer attention can fill us in, since other than Art Briles and Robert Griffin I’m hard pressed to name anyone on the squad. I think [...]

Two things:
1. Graham Harrell emailed us yesterday and let us know he was upset about the meme being distributed that he “Hates Contact”. Apparently this isn’t true. He did say he thought it dragged in parts and the end where all she finds is her dad pissed him off quite a bit. Thanks Graham for [...]

I got in late, didn’t hear the opening question. Based on the length of the monologue it must have been a doozy. Okay, just checked, it was “Good morning.” Here’s the last part of the response:

… feel like it’s a really fun time. It’s a neat deal for college football and for the kids, [...]

Colt McCoy had a conversation with Jim Rome earlier today, which does not in fact violate his religious beliefs as we initially reported since Rome is not technically, it turns out, a pimp. We sincerely apologize for the mistake. We’re currently researching any potential theological complications should Colt need to be in the same room [...]

I’m generally immune to internet memes, not sure why, but it makes sense given the hardy ethnic stock in question. Rooting around in bogs for millenia combined with even infrequent ancestral consumption of haggis necessarily renders a hardy constitution, which naturally spills over into other facets of one’s life, like the intergoogle. I have watched [...]

In a surprising turn of events the United Nations has formally leveled sanctions against the Houston Texans organization following a loss to the Indianapolis Colts yesterday afternoon, leaving owner Bob McNair and many of his staff stunned. The move apparently came on the heels of what has been described as a heart wrenching loss for [...]

Reports coming out of Titans headquarters continue to undershadow the deeply troubled state of the franchise according to media outlets. Some have called it a miasma of woe and distress, rife with turmoil and division. Insiders have hinted at a possible federal government bailout pending the outcome of legal investigations into the teams finances. Others [...]

First, I’d like everyone to remain calm. We don’t have all the facts yet, and BC Staffers are working aroung the clock to piece this together as it comes in. We do not recommend stocking up on bottled water, canned food and batteries yet. We also feel that France’s surrender to Vince Young last night [...]

You may have noticed by now that the Fightin’ Texas Aggies, led by the scrappiest Fightin’ Texas Aggie quarterback since Bucky By God Richardson no less, fell a little short yesterday in their home opener against Arkansas State. As fellow compadres in the Big 12 we at the Carnival have quite a bit of sympathy, [...]

After extensive field research Barking Carnival staffers have determined that the devastating new offensive weapon being honed in closed practices does not, as previously reported, revolve around Colt McCoy wearing pimp robes and a tricorne. We apologize for any misunderstanding or inconvenience this caused.

Q
I also regret that after protracted internal infighting we [...]

A series of melees broke out yesterday at Titans camp during an intrasquad scrimmage with the St. Louis Rams.
Players vent their aggression at practice

It started off innocently enough; second year running back Chris Henry misread a key block and careened directly into Rams head coach Scott Linehan who was standing next to a [...]