Barking Carnival

Yeah, I know Mizzou won, but…

Final statline: 27 of 44 for 200 yards and 3 ints.
You owe Weatherspoon a beer, Chase.
Congrats to the Tigers.

The bomb with 4:00 minutes left in the game with OU holding a 34 point lead was class. Like David Niven in a linen suit. If coaching doesn’t work out for Stoops he should consider sommelier school.
Sam Bradford is a really good player, but he has dopey hair. So weigh […]

coming up. 80% chance I will want to kill myself in the next hour so this may end up being a short effort. Not abnormal for me, right ladies?

Objectivity’s handmaidens
You can lay blame for the upcoming Whipped By Texas Bowl on a number of institutions (the Big 12, the BCS, the Knights Templar), scientific phenomena (recency bias, Heisenberg uncertainty principle) or trends (our society’s bizarre fixation on fabricating novelty where there is none), but at the end of it all I point my […]

According to ESPN.
Christensen flew to Wyoming with his wife Saturday night after Missouri lost to Kansas in Kansas City. He arrived in Laramie via a University of Wyoming private plane. He spent the night in Laramie and met with school officials. He returned to Columbia on Sunday to attend a Missouri senior banquet but is […]

After a weak week, I’m 18-17-1. I blame the Big 12 North Division. I have no idea what to do with Conference USA Del Norte. Their games follow no logic and I have minimal ability to discern degrees of bad once you get past Missouri: is it offal that beats rubbish? […]

Predicatron Lives!

This is an awesome tool. Many thanks to our good friends at Atomic Teeth for creating this. The customizable interface rocks.
Beware - you will end up spending at least 30 minutes on here tinkering with probabilities.
Phenomenal work, Euclid.

Looks like the computers love the Big 12 South. 40% of the BCS Top Ten are from the Big 12 South. Basically, the 5th best team in the Big 12 will have a home game for the Conference championship.
2. Texas Tech
4. Texas
6. Oklahoma
9. Oklahoma State
14. Missouri

But Penn State now has 3 first place votes in the coaches’ poll.
OU is #4 in both polls.
Texas Tech is #5 in the coaches’ and #6 in the AP. I can’t remember Tech ever being ranked higher.
OU and Tech both passed USC in the coaches’ poll, and Tech passed them in the AP.

Oklahoma State […]

These are the relevant players in the National Championship picture. It’s never too early for speculation and raging debate.
BCS Standings
1. Texas 7-0
2. Alabama 7-0
3. Penn State 8-0
4. Oklahoma 6-1
5. USC 5-1
6. Oklahoma State 7-0
7. Georgia 6-1
8. Texas Tech 7-0
9. Ohio State 7-1
10. Florida 5-1
11. […]

I can’t think of a more dominating half of football. Let’s get into it.
Offense
Our QB is a 28 year old Joe Montana Quantam Leaped into a Texas uniform. There, I said it. When your QB goes 29 of 32 with two batted balls and a drop, throws with the accuracy […]

Texas is a unanimous number one.
Other Big 12 teams:
4. OU
7. Oklahoma State
8. Texas Tech
16. Missouri
19. Kansas

I am currently 8-4 ATS. This is solid work, explicable by basic probability theory. The law of large numbers will catch up with me soon and I’ll be unmasked for the fraud I am. Until then, let’s live the lie together, shall we?
Kansas @ Oklahoma (-19.5)
Will Bob Stoops allow a post-Texas hangover? […]

Not really. But yeah they do. Sort of.
Kirk Bohls wrote about Missouri’s ‘permanence’ on the college football map in today’s Statesman.
This quote caught my eye:
“The Big 12’s tougher entrance requirements (that) Texas insisted upon really helped Missouri because they leveled the playing field with the other schools, especially Nebraska,” said MU grad Steve Richardson, who […]

Colt McCoy on the Dan Patrick show. Jordan Shipley interviewed on College Football tonight. Earl Thomas and Blake Gideon interviewed by Texas Sports. All with an angry hobbit coming to town.

F’ me if Mizzou is Clubber Lang.
I don’t like it. And neither does Mick.

An excellent piece of work from our friends at Atomic Teeth. I was invigorated by this work as much as a potion made of tiger penis drunk from a rhino horn. It’s stuff like this that will revitalize the economy of Blaine, MO until the next stool boom.
There’s a lot of stuff to […]

Scipio has taken a look at what Texas needs to do to win on Saturday. So I’m going to take a look at what Missouri needs to do to win.
1. Protect Chase Daniel
If Texas is able to get pressure on Daniel with just their front four, Missouri will lose. Force them to commit more […]

Missouri represents a number of challenges for us, as we do for them.

Their first challenge: firing the SID
Let’s explore the issues relevant to this matchup joyfully like a playscape made of taffy.
Missouri Offense:
No Vanilla Please
We need our defense as dark and complex as a Nigerian beat poet. Chase Daniel has […]

In 1519 Hernan Cortes began his extraordinary campaign against the Aztecs. Whatever you think of his morality (he had none) and his motivations (personal glory) he was one of the great badasses of history, conquering a massive Aztec empire outnumbered one thousand to one. And you thought Appalachian State over Michigan was an […]

The Big 12 announced their TV games for the October 18th weekend.
ABC will wait until this Sunday to decide whether Texas-Mizzou is the 2:30 or 7 pm slot. Kansas-Oklahoma will get the other ABC slot. I’d guess the winner of the Red River Shootout will be the primetime telecast.
If Texas wins, Austin will […]