Delegates to Provide Happy Ending
Vigorously massage them with all your might.
On the Republican side of the aisle, Governor Mike Huckabee lashed back over the weekend by capitalizing on the ineradicable discontent amongst conservative voters by easily winning in Kansas and Louisiana.
Senator McCain will remain the inevitable nominee. The Huckabee victories are unsurprisingly minimized by the vast amount of extremely conservative blocs in both Kansas and Louisiana.
McCain just won Virginia in a dogfight.
McCain has anchored over 700 of the 1191 delegates needed to secure the nomination.
The race is on, however, on the democratic side, which is proving to be a neck-to-neck competition.
Over the weekend Barrack Obama trounced Hillary Clinton like a three-legged, redheaded, rented step mule, or two white safeties in Scipio’s anguished and nightmare version of a two deep. Obama won over 2/3 of the votes in Washington and Nebraska. Even if you attribute the caucus victories for Obama to his campaign being better equipped for grassroots organization, the profound margins are a dark foreshadowing for Clinton.
As I’m writing this, Obama has once again treated Clinton like a drunken Gerry Cooney in the Virginia primary. He has also taken DC.
Even in spite of the momentum for Obama, Clinton is still doing well with superdelegates, which who are comprised Sailor Ripleyish of DNC members, congressmen and governors. Their votes are not constrained, like regular delegates, to voting for the winner of their state. It will be difficult for them, however, to lean into Clinton in the face of this tidal wave, as the Clintons are now sandbagging their losses by focusing on Ohio and Texas. Hillary is about to say something profound in El Paso. Hopefully desperation doesn’t compel her to ride in on a donkey while wearing a sombrero. Can white women jump?
In the Virgin Islands Obama took over 90% of the votes where the population is over 75% black. The Caribbean territory has 12 delegates, nine that will vote in the convention. Six of those delegates pledged to Obama, and three are uncommitted. I figured the Virgin Islands would only have one delegate, a tiny one — a little midget delegate.
After tonight, Obama will pass Clinton in delegates.
At this juncture all delegates are being aggressively sought.
Even Guam delegates will get to experience the old-fashioned, smoky backroom polishing. Guam will cast eight delegate votes at the convention. Yeah, that’s right, Guam. They will be sweetened just like regular delegates. Rather than being enticed with opportunities and cabinet positions, the parties could dangle things like shoes and bottled water. “We were going to try and spin your wheels with some live chickens, but we figured we lost our leverage when we saw two of them standing on the conference table when we entered this suite. Anyway, we’d really appreciate your vote because we … um … I think you have a leech on your face.”
Getting a dead pinpoint on the count of delegates at this point is like trying to read Texags.
Let us wait on Maryland.
Thoughts and spewed venom will be, as usual, appreciated.
February 12, 2008 at 6:34 pm
No way superdelegates don’t break the way of pledged delegates. But never bet against the Democratic Party doing something monumentally stupid.
February 12, 2008 at 7:10 pm
No shit. Forcing their hand on a predominantly Republican run Florida where they were secretly begging for the DNC to disenfranchise their delegates, assuredly fucking them in the general, is exhibit 1-a in a long list of monumental stupidity.
How ironically embarrassing would it be if the democratic nominee was decided by ravenous lawyers and slow-moving lawsuits?
February 12, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Never underestimate the Clinton machine. As Morris said, that machine is about to teach Obama things about himself he never knew.
February 12, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Agreed, Ransom. I wouldn’t exclude Clinton in the context of her political machine being capable of manipulating the DNC as far as it will bend. But if you’re talking about Dick Morris, closet homosexual and guy who pays hookers to do god only knows what to him, then I just can’t put much stock into that tumescent, rotting organism.
He knows his shit, but he’s like listening to Joan Rivers with a tracheotomy.
February 12, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Every facet of Hillary’s campaign is drying up - money, employees, volunteers, supporters, polling numbers, and Bill’s goodwill among African Americans. Once things begin going South like they have been for her the last couple of weeks, it’s virtually impossible to get them back.
I think she does one of two things: 1) drops out after losing Ohio and possibly Texas, or 2) blows up the whole process, slinging all the mud she can muster at Obama, having Bill strong-arm the super delegates to support her even if the voters prefer Obama, and fighting to have the Florida and Michigan delegates seated at the convention.
I’m not sure she possesses the personal grace to do #1, though she could surprise me. Until I see that happen, I have to lean towards #2.
February 12, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Who can beat McCain? He speaks Spanish too!
I’m rooting for Hillary so I can salute you, President McCain…. with her negative polling hovering around forty five percent, you only need to drop kick six to win the pony.
The middle of the road… the only place you get run over by both sides.
February 13, 2008 at 12:29 am
Your latter day bastardization of the word ‘comprise’ infuriates Ralph Nader. And Megalon.
February 13, 2008 at 7:22 am
Come see Dr. Paul speak at the Main Mall, Saturday 2/23 at 4:00.
February 13, 2008 at 8:15 am
Ask Dr. Paul if he still believes that the recent changes to the U.S. currency are in fact the mark of the biblical beast. He spent most of the 1980s making the rounds of the radio talk shows warning the public on that subject.
February 13, 2008 at 9:28 am
“Your latter day bastardization of the word ‘comprise’ infuriates Ralph Nader. And Megalon.”
Fixed it.
February 15, 2008 at 4:44 am
down with pant suits, I don’t approve.
February 16, 2008 at 5:50 am
Did someone just admit that they listen to Dick Morris?? Surely he was quoting Mercury Morris, or Joe Morris, or Tommy Morrison, or maybe Morris Chestnut, but I mean goddman, really, Dick fucking Morris. You watch Fox don’t you? Maybe you would like to unleash now out of the bottle of ignorance, what Limbaugh has to say in regards to this. Did he happen to mention the hookers? Probably not, I mean with Fox and Friends being such a family show and all. I hope that man contracted genital herpes-warts; that only surface on his pee hole.