The Richt Stuff

1.) Act like a smug dick no matter what.

2.) Prior to kickoff allow your team to do the “logo pogo” on road games, which is the basic foundation of being a dick.

3.) When you’ve clearly locked a win, send your entire sideline out to celebrate in your opponent’s endzone, which equals all dickishness in the blueprint of dickdom.

4.) Prior to high profile games, announce that your team will wear all black — a gimmicky tactic that serves no other purpose but to draw national attention to your unique and voluntary desire to look like a dick — just to completely confirm your dedication to being a brash and boring dick.

5.) While attending press conferences prior to your previously announced dick festival that looms ahead, wear black and be a dick about it to the local sports media (who is almost always hopelessly addicted to dicks) when they ask about your black attire and cunning willingness to be such a complete and astonishing dick.

6.) When you get holstered by an athletically inferior team in the first half make sure that you act like an unimaginable dick to the halftime reporter who might or might not want to relish in the carnival of your dickish ways.

6.) In spite of a paralyzing week of national humility, never waver, publicly, in your thorough devotion to the philosophy of the phallus.

7.) Fuck ‘em all. I mean everybody. They’re all just a bunch of bottom-dwelling dicks, constantly fixated on useless bullshit like character and poise. ‘Cause they’ll never understand how much guts it really takes to look like such a fucking dick on a brazen, national level. At this point, you’re a rogue dick, the only real dick that knows what it takes to stand on a limb and be that special kind of contrived dick.

8.) Propose another “blackout” against an inferior opponent to prove that being a dick really works, and to also allow your student body another shot at looking like a bunch of dipshit southerner dicks in blackface.

9.) If nobody else had the gravitas to so fervently wave that dick flag high, why not you?

10.) Smother your ears with your palms whenever that creeping notion drifts in that you’re the only cowboy dick that could vindicate that guy who was once recognized as just a lying dick as someone who, at a the very end of it all, isn’t a silly dick.

10.a) The head coach of Georgia, Mark, is a dick.