Eharmony Finds Match for ChrisApplewhite

My GF’s stepdad is one of the vets in that lab at UC-Davis. Reflected glory.

She kind of looks like Mike Sherman.

This is the proff we’ve been looknig for! Fineally after all the seyears the chupacaber is revealed! I have persinully awated these ruesutls fro yeaars! They have saide fo ryears sthat the beest is a hoxe, but all tis tiem I have none the thruth! Just look at th efeetprint of the beest and listun to the eywitnes reports! Hahaha your so dumb, nonbelivers!

“The chupacabra has been variously described. Some witnesses have seen a small half-alien, half-dinosaur tailless vampire with quills running down its back; others have seen a panther like creature with a long snake-like tongue; still others have seen a hopping animal that leaves a trail of sulfuric stench. Some think it may be a type of dinosaur heretofore unknown. Some are convinced that the wounds on animals whose deaths have been attributed to the chupacabra indicate an alien presence.”

Bo Pelini keeps a pet chupacabra in a tree in his backyard. He is the only human being known to have the powers to cohabit with this otherworldly- demonistic-bloodlusting-devilbeast. You fuck around with Bo’s property or kids, you get the chupacabra treatment.

Chuck Norris keeps Bo Pelini in a tree in his back yard and runs a group called Bad Newz Kennelz where he pit fights Bo vs. a cadre of highly trained Chupacabras.

There we go, that’s better.

‘Her tits are empty boxes of macaroni.’

Jesus, is that the funniest fucking thing ever typed onto the Internet, or what?