The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly - Season Preview
Well, here we go again, sports fans. Another college football season is finally, at long last, about to begin after eight long, tedious months of recess. I’m so sick of this waiting crap. When in the hell are they going to come up with a real, lasting, interesting spring football season just to placate those of us who are football-obsessed?
Barring that, repealing Title IX and requiring all major college athletics programs to field Lacrosse teams would be an acceptable substitute. Like football, Lacrosse is a manly sport, a sport involving real athletic competition, full contact, and rules that actually make sense (such as, the players get to use all four of their limbs rather than just two). Ok, it’s got a French name, but still, you don’t see Lacrosse players falling down and faking knee injuries every time someone on the opposing team brushes by them. These guys get hit in the knee with big sticks and just keep on going. These are men, real men, like Mike Gundy. Bill Little could wax poetic about Lacrosse without resorting to the thesaurus. The sport is that good, and that manly.
A manly sport played by manly men.
A tediously boring sport played by wussies.
I’ve gotten to where I can’t watch two innings of a major league baseball game without nodding off to sleep. Soccer just bores the living shit out of me. I’d rather watch paint dry. I’d rather watch grass grow. I’d rather watch reruns of Happy Days after the Fonz jumped the shark. Basketball at the college level holds my attention, especially since Texas got good at it, but it’s over by April. It’s been five years since I sat through an entire NBA contest. Don’t ask me why, because that’s a whole other topic we really don’t want to go into. The Olympics only come around every four years, and as soon as I see synchronized swimming or rhythmic gymnastics or some other made-up-just-for-the-Olympics-fake-sport on the tube, that’s it for me. I’d rather watch “So You Think You Can Dance”, which is an equally legitimate athletic competition, and the girls are better looking.
A prime candidate for inclusion in the 2016 Olympics.
So, basically, it’s football or boredom for me, meaning I’m bored about 2/3rds of the year, and the other third of the time I’m worthless for anything else. From mid-August through December, my job doesn’t get done, the cats lose weight for lack of feeding, and the wifey is left wondering what happened to my sex drive, other than age. It’s a tough life, but it’s how I was raised.
But oh, blessed day, football season is here and now it’s time for the First Annual Good, Bad, and Ugly Season Preview. I’ve never done one of these before, but I figure Scipio’s doing season previews, dedfischer’s doing season previews, Jones Top Ten is doing a season preview, Henry James is making fun of Bill Little, and Chris Applewhite’s got all those little orange dots running around his posts again, so what the hell? Plus, I keep getting these emails from Sailor Ripley asking me if I died or something. So, might as well join the fun.
Let’s go to the G, B, and U.
First, the UGLY:
- The Aggies have a new Reveille, but unlike the last couple of Reveille successions, there is no dead Reveille to bury next to the stadium with a view of the scoreboard, one of the most macabre and idiotic “traditions” in the history of traditions. It took six months of searching to find the new Miss Reveille, and according to the Houston Chronicle, the school conducted a nationwide search, unlike what DeLoss Dodds did when searching for a coach to succeed Fred Akers in 1986. The new A&M mascot hails from
Topeka, Kansas. A spokesman for the school said that the new Reveille met the “7 criteria” for choosing a mascot, “not the least of which is being positively motivated”. I swear I’m not making this stuff up. The other six criteria (which I am making up) are 1) knowing not to piss on jack boots, 2) knowing not to tread on Kyle Field’s sacred ground unless accompanied by a Corps Turd wearing jack boots, 3) an aptitude for playing 41 at the Dixie Chicken, 4) a bark that sounds just like “whoop!”, 5) the ability to keep a straight face when watching Aggie yell leaders, and 6) an intense hatred for all things related to “tu”.
The Aggies have a new mascot.
- Anybody think Gene Chizik might be regretting his decision to leave
Austin for Ames, Iowa? Given that his second Cyclone team is being widely picked to be no better than his first, you have to wonder. We kind of missed him last year. I suspect this year we’ll forget all about him.
- Speaking of former
Texas defensive coordinators gone bad, Greg Robinson is now 2-9, 3-9 and 2-10 for a grand total of 7-28 in three seasons at Syracuse. His 2008 squad looks to be not a hell of a lot better, so you have to wonder if he will get any more chances up there.
- Dave Wannstedt. How does this guy keep his job? Has there ever been a more overrated head coach in the history of pro or college football? I note that Sports Illustrated is picking Pitt to finish in the national Top 20 this year. As Bugs Bunny would say, hah-hah, ho-ho, hee-hee, it is to laugh.
Next, the BAD:
- Why in the hell does the NCAA keep messing around with the game’s clock rules? This year the powers that be are implementing the NFL’s 40 second clock in another effort to reduce the number of plays per game and shorten the average game time. Why can’t they just leave this great game alone? The length of college games and the added opportunities for late comebacks that produces is one of the main reasons why college football is so vastly superior to the pro game. How many failed efforts to screw with the game clock will it take before the people who run this game figure out the obvious? Sheesh.
- Big 12 officials. Yeah, yeah, I know – we haven’t even played a game yet and already I’m bashing the officials. But we know without even looking that, excepting John Bible’s crew and to a slightly lesser extent the crew led by Randy Christal, Big 12 officials are going to be very, very bad. They will make phantom pass interference calls, they will miss blatant pass interference calls, they will make us wonder what actually constitutes pass interference in college football these days; they will allow OU offensive linemen to hold with impunity, they will huddle endlessly with one another before announcing the simplest and most obvious of calls, and they will completely screw up the flow of game after game after game. It’s what they do. It’s who they are. Just accept it and move on.
- Two words: Dave Lapham.
“Take a look at those splits in Tech’s line. I can’t get over those splits - those splits must be three feet wide, coach. Did you use splits that wide when you were running the Wishbone at Oklahoma? Those splits are why Tech’s offense are so good. Get a load of those splits - I’ve never seen anything like ‘em. With splits like that, you kow Mike Leach is gonna put up lots of points. Holy cow, what about those splits…”
- The Aggies are going to be bad. Now that Baylor has made an outstanding hire in Art Briles, combined with what I believe is going to prove to be a horrible hire by the Aggies in Mike Sherman, it is entirely possible A&M might finish dead last in the Big 12 South Division. A&M went 7-5 last regular season with fluke wins over
Texas and Oklahoma State. Those two wins will not be repeated in 2008, and an 0-5 record in the South is within reach for a team returning only 10 starters. But at least their Reveille is fresh.
Finally, the Good:
Missouri – I like the Tigers to be legitimate national championship contenders. If they can adequately replace Tony Temple at tailback, they are going to be hell on wheels again. Hell, they’ll be fine on offense with a mannequin at tailback for that matter. Chase Daniel should be one of the leading Heisman candidates, and Jeremy Maclin is a true badass, surpassed in badassery among Big 12 WRs only by Tech’s Michael Crabtree. Barring a meltdown of epic proportions, the Missouri schedule contains just three losable games: at Nebraska, at Texas and Kansas at home. They might win all of them. Then again…
-
Texas is 10-0 in the game after the OU game in the Mack Brown era. That’s good. Interestingly, Texas gets Missouri at home the week after the OU game this year. Hmmmmmm…
Texas Tech – Tech very well could be 8-0 and ranked in the national top 5 when Texas goes to Lubbock on November 1. Beat Texas, and they could be 10-0 and ranked in the top 2 or 3 when they go to Norman on November 22. Their defense improved somewhat after DC Ruffin McNeil took over following last year’s devastating 49-45 loss to Oklahoma State, a game in which Tech put up 718 yards in total offense and still lost. But they still weren’t anything to write home about, given that they surrendered 59 points to Texas, 41 to Missouri and 31 to Colorado down the stretch. Tech will be good in 2008, but a step up to the next level and the ability to beat Texas and Oklahoma will require McNeil’s defense to live up to all the pre-season hype. We’ll see.
- Will Muschamp – I like everything I’ve seen and heard about this guy. All the reports from Spring and Fall camp are very encouraging. The news that he is looking for ways to take maximum advantage of Sergio Kindle’s athletic skillset is music to the ears. I am more convinced with each passing day that this guy was an inspired hire. The Longhorns could be real good if Muschamp can get the defense back to a high level of competency. That’s a tall order, but he might just be the guy to get it done.
Booooooom!
- Major Applewhite - Last year the Longhorns took real, inspired offensive game plans into four games: OU,
Iowa State, Texas Tech and Arizona State. The game plan for the other 8 contests apparently consisted of scripting the first 15 plays and then calling the handful that sucked the least for the remainder of the contest. Will the hiring of Applewhite mean that the team has an actual offensive game plan designed to attack the opponent at hand in all 12 regular season games? Right now, I’d have to pick Texas to finish third in the South Division behind OU and Tech. But if we attack opposing defenses every week in the orderly and inspired fashion we showed in the four games mentioned above last year, I like our chances to win the division. We can only hope and pray.
He’s such nice young man…
- National Top 5: I like USC,
Ohio State, Florida, Missouri and Georgia, in that order. OU, LSU and a few others aren’t far behind. Given its schedule, Kansas could well end up 10-2 and ranked in the top 10. I don’t share the apparently prevalent view that they were a fluke last year. That team is populated with some very big, very talented, very well-coached athletes. They weren’t that far behind Missouri last year, and they will give them fits again this year. Texas is ranked appropriately in preseason polls and magazines in the 10-15 range, because so much of its prospects for moving up from there depend on how much of an impact Muschamp and Applewhite are able to have on the program.
Finally, let me just say that I’m pissed about my assigned parking lots for this year’s games. I’m a season ticket holder for 13 years now, and far, far from a minimum donor, and I get shoved over to the Disch Falk lots under the new assignment system??? How the hell does that work? Did someone at Bellmont read the GBU I wrote after the A&M game last year? I’ve got a bad knee – it was hard enough just walking over from the LBJ Library the last few years. I’m getting too old for this shit.
Well, I guess I’ll just write only nice things about the program this year and see if that helps. Ok, seriously, that’s not going to happen. If worse comes to worst, I guess I can just take one of those student-powered rickshaws to the stadium.
If this is the biggest bitch I have this year ( and I am counting on it being the biggest bitch I have this year ), it’s going to be a great season.
Hook ‘em!!!
August 13, 2008 at 5:45 am
Two words: Dave Lapham.
Two more words: face rape.
August 13, 2008 at 5:46 am
I agree with your assessment of Kansas. I kept waiting for them to falter last season, but Mangino’s micro-managed, organized personality has finally filtered over to his team. Not his diet, however. Kansas has done exactly what Kansas needed to do. They don’t commit stupid penalties or turnovers. Fundamentally, they were the best team in the conference last year. All this shit added together makes them a hard team to beat because one thing is for certain, they aren’t going to beat themselves. I could see them beating us (Tech) by 3 TDs just by playing the field position game and not committing penalties. Or, we could stomp them by 40.
August 13, 2008 at 5:52 am
Only comment is that the 40-second play clock may actually increase the number of plays per game. Some crews are VERY slow at resetting the ball. Remember the end of the third quarter against A&M in 2006?
The last play of the quarter ended with 51 seconds on the clock. A&M was going into a good wind and our coaches weren’t paying enough attention to call a timeout to get the punt off before the quarter change. The referees took 30 seconds to spot the ball and start the play clock and we let the quarter run out. A&M punted the other direction with the wind at their back from their own 30. The punt went 57 yards.
August 13, 2008 at 5:58 am
I don’t know what “playing 41 at the Dixie Chicken” is, but if you’re talking about 42, don’t knock it - bitch slappin’ guys around for $1 a hand while downing multiple pitchers of Shiner is just this side of Nirvana…
August 13, 2008 at 5:59 am
Huck - that’s very possible. I just like the game the way it is, or the way it was before they started dicking around with the clock rules at the behest of the TV overlords.
August 13, 2008 at 6:00 am
“I don’t know what “playing 41 at the Dixie Chicken” is, but if you’re talking about 42, don’t knock it - bitch slappin’ guys around for $1 a hand while downing multiple pitchers of Shiner is just this side of Nirvana…”
Shit, no wonder I never was any good at dominoes…
August 13, 2008 at 6:01 am
“A&M went 7-5 last regular season with fluke wins over Texas and Oklahoma State. Those two wins will not be repeated…”
Gee, I’ve never heard that one before…
August 13, 2008 at 6:01 am
I’ll admit, 42 is a kickass game. It would be much more of an entertaining spectator sport than Texas Holdem.
August 13, 2008 at 6:08 am
“I’ll admit, 42 is a kickass game. It would be much more of an entertaining spectator sport than Texas Holdem.”
This is true - and I’ve been to the Dixie Chicken several times, and have to admit it’s a lot of fun.
August 13, 2008 at 6:22 am
I didn’t expect to beat you guys in 06, I CERTAINLY didn’t expect the demolition last season, and I doubt I will expect a victory this season.
But to say you could realistically see us going 0-5 in the South is a reach. Take the blinders off and lets talk football.
And the Reveille thing isn’t a big enough deal to warrant a rant. 80% of the students will have absolutely no idea we have a new one come opening kickoff. If you wanna talk macabre, Georgia buries UGA on the fucking field.
And I hate the Dixie Chicken.
And I’m in a terrible mood today.
August 13, 2008 at 6:23 am
I could not agree more with you about the game clock rules. The only people in favor of these persistent efforts to shorten games by reducing the number of actual plays - the part everyone came to see in the first place, as opposed to the American Airlines Kick Around the Country - are sportswriters who would rather be somewhere else than the press box on Saturday afternoon and television executives who want to jam in yet another godawful ad.
I also could not agree more with your officiating comment concerning OU holding. It is my contention that OU holds on every offensive snap.
August 13, 2008 at 6:24 am
Enjoyed it as always. I believe Muschamp will determine our success this year.
August 13, 2008 at 6:33 am
EyesOfTX and dedfischer - naturally, i’ll comment about the KU assessment, and - naturally - i appreciate folks taking an objective view about them. haven’t seen much of that lately, and i’m admittedly getting tired of the “ku will suck b/c they have a real schedule this year” talk. dedfischer you hit on the biggest reason ku succeeded last year - they rarely beat themselves. the one time it happened resulted in their lone loss against MU. standing at the top of a frozen arrowhead stadium, i was amazed at how the defense went the entire game against MU and didn’t give up a single big play. unfortunately daniel when manning on them and dinked and dunked 7 ypp all over the field. however, what cost them the game were the 2 INT’s by Reesing - both his fault - and the missed field goals. people like to assume that b/c MU was up 21-7 (or 28?) that it was a blow out. they forget that KU came within a recovered onside kick of making that game much more interesting at the end…
that being said, i’m very anxious to see how the players respond to stiffer tests this year. i don’t expect them to be blown out by anyone - OU included - but micromanaging and discipline only works against teams that are either a) less talented or b) less disciplined. in MU, OU, UT, and Tech (and USF) they have opponents that will definitely not be both in group A so i’m hoping they fall into group B when the ‘hakws play them.
my 2 pesos
August 13, 2008 at 6:48 am
Applewhite and Muschamp have to have tumor-removal surgery before they will be successful at UT and that just ain’t gonna happen.
August 13, 2008 at 6:50 am
So you’re bored 2/3 of the year and pissing and moaning about the Horns for the balance…add the bad knee, and you, my friend, are quite the catch.
Interesting that it’s possible we would be playing a Top 5 OU, Top 5 Mizzou, Top 5 KU, and Top 5 Tech during the season. I also agree about the chronic OU officiating oversights. Has Deloss ever sent THE tape to the Big12?
August 13, 2008 at 6:50 am
“As Bugs Bunny would say, hah-hah, ho-ho, hee-hee, it is to laugh.”
D. Duck, not B. Bunny…
August 13, 2008 at 7:07 am
What did Pitt see in Wannstedt when they hired him?
He was a young assistant in their glory days.
They hoped that his 11 years as an NFL coach, with several winning seasons, NFC COTY in ‘94, and a few playoff runs were proof that he had exceptional coaching ability- the kind that would pay dividends against simple D-1A coaches.
They expected that his OC, who had been an NFL OC at Baltimore, would install a more sophisticated offense than the competition.
If it’s not obvious, the parallels to Mike Sherman are amazing.
August 13, 2008 at 7:08 am
Yep.
August 13, 2008 at 7:13 am
“They expected that his OC, who had been an NFL OC at Baltimore, would install a more sophisticated offense than the competition.”
Isn’t this what Charlie Weis promised ND?
You gotta develop what you recruit.
August 13, 2008 at 7:29 am
The biggest wildcard about Kansas is losing Bill Young. He was the best DC in the conference, but I think the unit has enough experience coming back to not be affected. Two or three years down the road may be a different story, though. Kansas has been pretty salty on defense for the last 4 or 5 years. They just finally got a capable QB, although he can’t ride the bumper cars by himself at Six Flags.
August 13, 2008 at 7:52 am
I think they will miss Tim Beck as their WR Coach/Passing Game Coordinator as well. Mangino assembled a first rate staff up there.
August 13, 2008 at 9:00 am
Losing Bill Young could be an issue, but I really doubt it. Bowen was doing most of the recruiting anyway and they were hand-in-hand on the scheming.
You obviously hate to lose a coach of his caliber, but assuming the transition goes well I think Bowen will be up to the task.
August 13, 2008 at 9:02 am
As for Beck, I don’t think they’ll miss him terribly as a coach. But he was their biggest recruiter in Texas, something they could definitely miss. Which is likely why they added David Beaty from Rice.
August 13, 2008 at 9:36 am
Losing good coaches is what every program should aspire to as far as their staff is concerned.
It’s when you still have the same offensive coordinator after 10 full seasons of reasonable success and not a single decent team offers him a job when he puts himself unofficially on the market that you should worry.
August 13, 2008 at 9:38 am
Pitt has the talent, but not the coaching to win the Big East.
Top 5 Defense in the nation and what may be the best tailback in the nation. OL is biggest problem.
August 13, 2008 at 9:46 am
“Pitt has the talent, but not the coaching to win the Big East”
Agreed. They lose 3 games due to coaching alone.
August 13, 2008 at 10:09 am
Bank on 2 things that history has written in stone.
1.Texas, under Mack, will win the next game after OU. 2. Texas Tech will never be 8-0; always 6-2 at best.
And so it shall be.
August 13, 2008 at 10:11 am
I have to disagree with your point regarding the length of college games. The games have become too long. Three hours is plenty.
I’ll use the NFL pre-game shows as an analogy. NFL Today of the ’70’s was a can’t miss. Lengthen it to one hour it’s marginal. Two hours and it’s a huge whipping.
August 13, 2008 at 10:36 am
Art Vandelay thinks that you can be too rich, that some breasts are just too big, that… well you get the idea. Blasphemy.
August 13, 2008 at 10:51 am
“I’ll use the NFL pre-game shows as an analogy.”
That is a very poor analogy. Try again.
August 13, 2008 at 11:13 am
You can’t win an Olympic Gold Medal in Women’s Gymnastics with big breasts. That was proven last night.
August 13, 2008 at 11:22 am
Sure you can.
August 13, 2008 at 11:23 am
Shannon Kelly just scored more points than in his whole UT career.
August 13, 2008 at 11:38 am
“Barring a meltdown of epic proportions, the Missouri schedule contains just three losable games: at Nebraska, at Texas and Kansas at home.”
The Kansas Missouri game is at Arrowhead again this year.
August 13, 2008 at 11:45 am
Ok, a neutral site makes it even more losable. Thanks.
August 13, 2008 at 11:45 am
beck has been a nice addition here. I thought he was the running backs coach. He’s a good recruiter and knows texas high schools well.
August 13, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Tim was the WR coach at KU - he is RB for Corn.
August 13, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Nice kickoff for the ‘08 GBU, Eyes. Looking forward to the weekly installments.
August 13, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Now I’ve heard it all. A UT fan complaining about refs? Somehow, I bet Mike Leach, Mark Mangino, and pretty much everyone else in the Big 12 would get a very big laugh out of this kind of irony. UT has always been handled with kid gloves by the zebras, and everyone knows it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying OU hasn’t gotten away with holding way more than its fair share lately. Far from it. I’m not sure how we’re pulling it off. After Oregon ‘06 and Texas Tech in ‘05, I thought we’d taken a dump in the wrong guy’s cheerios.
Further, the Big 12 refs really do suck that badly. Your point is valid. I just got a kick out of a UT fan complaining about it given UT’s history of getting very generous treatment from the men in stripes.
Outside of that bit of ridiculousness, this was actually a very good and very enjoyable write-up. I only had one other disagreement…
Missouri as legit national title contenders? Not yet. This defense gave up 30+ each time to OU, and they don’t look any better. They’ll handle the run well enough, but Big 12 teams kill you in the air. That doesn’t bode well for a team with mediocre CBs and an inconsistent pass rush. Not to mention the fact that their leading rusher against OU was Maclin both times…for 32 and 40 yards.
I see no reason Tech shouldn’t be 10-0 or 9-1 coming to Norman…which means they would come in with an even bigger bullseye than they’ll already have.
August 13, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Absolutely Nate - and it will be a tough row in OK soil to plow yet another win after last year when they ripped OU a new one - they stood up, staggered to the police, and nearly reported the assault just before passing out with time expired…
somehow I don’t see that happening to either team this year, and it will likely be the most exciting pre-bowl game of the year (sorry UT…) - every station will want to carry this one, (who gets pref? Fox?), and will they push other conferences off to show it throughout the nation? Time for the cheerleaders to put on their best Poms…
August 14, 2008 at 3:40 am
“Further, the Big 12 refs really do suck that badly. Your point is valid. I just got a kick out of a UT fan complaining about it given UT’s history of getting very generous treatment from the men in stripes.”
Look, fans of every school have their own perceptions about the officials. My perception differs from most UT fans in that, as a former ref myself, I don’t think they’re out to screw us. I just think Big 12 officiating in general is very, very bad, and it helps the Longhorns (and the Sooners, and every other team) as often as it hurts us. That is mitigated somewhat by the fact that Bible is, IMO, the best collegiate official working today, and Christal is not far behind.
Having said all of that, there is just no question that OU holds on every play, and that the Big 12 has decided to allow it for whatever reason. That happens. That’s real, and it’s a big advantage for the Sooner offense. The fact that officiating crews in other parts of the country don’t allow it is one of the reasons why the Sooners can’t win a damn bowl game.
Otherwise, I appreciate your thoughtful reply and agree with most of the rest of it.
August 14, 2008 at 8:55 am
Here’s UT’s last 6 games after the OU game:
2007: ISU - W 56-3
2006: Baylor - W 63-31
2005: Colorado - W 42-17
2004: Mizzou - W 28-20
2003: ISU - W 40-19
2002: KSU - W 17-14
It’s not like their schedule has been that tough after OU.
August 14, 2008 at 9:20 am
Absolutely Nate - and it will be a tough row in OK soil to plow yet another win after last year when they ripped OU a new one - they stood up, staggered to the police, and nearly reported the assault just before passing out with time expired…
somehow I don’t see that happening to either team this year, and it will likely be the most exciting pre-bowl game of the year (sorry UT…) -
Tceh’s last three visits to Norman:
2006
OU 34, Pirates 24. Sand aggies shutout in the second half, Harrell held 100 yards under his per game average
2004
OU 28, Leach 13. Cumbie with zero (0) passing TDs and 3 INTs. Leach looks great between the 20s, not so much otherwise. Peterson treats the game as a scrimmage/tune-up for UT the next week.
2002
OU 60, Tceh 15. The score should suffice in place of stats. Quentin Griffin crushed another Stonehenge set.