Jorvorskie Lane makes manly promises

Texas A&M running back Jorvorskie Lane has guaranteed a win over Texas Tech in Lubbock this weekend.

“We’re going to win in 2007,” Lane said. “That’s a guarantee. I promise you.”

The Aggies haven’t won in Lubbock since 1993 which is coincidentally the last year Lane saw his penis while standing.

When asked if Aggie coach Dennis Franchione was cool with his prediction, Lane said, “I’m a man. I can say what I want to say.”

That would totally piss off Mike Gundy if he read the paper.

  1. Ed '98
    October 9, 2007 at 3:50 pm

    Ugh. Way to go, Jorvorskie. Nice bulletin board fodder you’re creating there. And weren’t you the one who boasted, before the Miami game, that nobody could stop A&M’s rushing attack?

    Ugh.

  2. mileslong
    October 9, 2007 at 4:04 pm

    out of the mouths of children…

  3. Sailor Ripley
    October 9, 2007 at 4:13 pm

    Nothing comes out of the mouth of Big J.

  4. Joe Namath
    October 9, 2007 at 5:41 pm

    JTrain, I want to kiss you!

  5. SizzleChest
    October 9, 2007 at 6:02 pm

    “I’m a man! My waist is a 50!

  6. raptor jesus
    October 9, 2007 at 6:43 pm

    ^^ LOL

  7. Redfoot
    October 9, 2007 at 10:06 pm

    I’m a man, I has a bucket.

  8. SeeingRed
    October 10, 2007 at 4:44 am

    Take that guarantee to the bank. It’s not like Franchy would limit him to 1 or 2 carries or anything.

  9. Bobby
    October 10, 2007 at 4:47 am

    I’m gonna make a shirt with the hamburglar on it devouring …well a hamburger with Lane’em on the front

  10. RomaVicta
    October 10, 2007 at 6:06 am

    Waterboy abuse to come. I guarantee.

  11. diehard
    October 10, 2007 at 6:20 am

    Tech 49
    A&M 17

    Same old shit in Lubbock. Crabtree and Amendola will each have 150+ yards receiving and 2 TD’s. A&M’s defense may give up 500 yards passing. It’ll be like a video game gone bad for Lane and the Ags.

  12. diehard
    October 10, 2007 at 7:57 am

    Meanwhile, Mike Leach is sharpening his Pirate sword and Graham Harrell is getting a haircut.

  13. sinless1
    October 10, 2007 at 10:53 am

    Anybody got that clip of JTrain getting stuffed by ARMY?

  14. MIA
    October 10, 2007 at 12:07 pm

    “I’m a man, I will eat what ever the hell I want to eat. You wanna question my order?! Question me, I’m the man eating it… are those cheese doodles?”

  15. Socratic Ag
    October 10, 2007 at 1:08 pm

    I’m going to the game but I am not going unarmed. I done packed my bushnells. Oh, they ain’t the sacred McKinney bushnells that gots the blood on ‘em of a thousand Tech infidels, but they’s pretty damn handy and I can sure swing ‘em.

    This is one swinger them Techsters better watch out for.

    Anybody know if there’s like a petting zoo or anything in Lubbock? And what time it closes? And if there’s a night watchman?

    d

  16. marc
    October 11, 2007 at 8:09 am

    j lane is a tubby fat bitch,

  17. SadFan
    October 11, 2007 at 11:29 am

    Tech is going to throw all over A&M. J Lane is a cocky bastard who needs to keep his mouth shut. A&M is trash.

  18. OUgarglesgoo
    October 11, 2007 at 3:30 pm

    Dude, your name is “Jorvorskie”.. HOW IRONIC

    That’s my cock’s name!!!!!!!!!!! Now suck on Jorvorskie, Jorvorskie

  19. OUgarglesgoo
    October 11, 2007 at 3:32 pm

    fat fuck probably has him an Aggie colored Cadillac “Excalade”

    Bloated pig

  20. Ags2007
    October 12, 2007 at 10:33 am

    A&M is trash huh? Well I guess we better start throwing things at opposing teams’ players, ripping down goal posts, and drinking ourselves stupid. Maybe then we will be as cool and smart as Texas Tech.

  21. MilkmanDan
    October 12, 2007 at 10:38 am

    It’s too late to drink yourself stupid.

  22. SadFan
    October 12, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    Well first of all your never in the top ten. Your D is misrable as shown against Miami. You are lucky to have a decent QB but he has no one to throw to. Your running back is a fat cocky idiot. The only reason he gets yards is for one he always gets the ball and yall havent played anyone with a moderate D to stop his fat ass. A&M has no class and has idiots who pretend to be in the military. What a joke. No one wants to go to your pathetic school so yall get the left overs from Texas, OU, and every other decent team in the area. Yall will loose at least four more games this year so dont get cocky.
    Finaly I am not a tech fan, but I would root for any team over Trashy A&M!!!!

  23. BigSatan
    October 12, 2007 at 12:54 pm

    “Finaly I am not a tech fan, but I would root for any team over Trashy A&M!!!!”

    And apparently over a spelling and grammer book, as well. Well done.

  24. SadFan
    October 12, 2007 at 1:01 pm

    Well when I start talking about A&M I get excited about listing why they suck. So if you just sit and point out grammer errors to prove something its sad. Get a life bud!!!!!

  25. Sailor Ripley
    October 12, 2007 at 5:35 pm

    Isaac Kaufmann Funk wants to skull-fuck the two of you.

  26. acb
    October 12, 2007 at 5:43 pm

    BTW — it’s spelled grammar…

  27. MilkmanDan
    October 12, 2007 at 6:58 pm

    No, our oversized dark lord was referring to ISBN 0451186052.

  28. SadFan
    October 13, 2007 at 4:25 pm

    I thoutht Jorvorskie was promising a win. Just as i predicted, A&M sucks!!!!!!!!!!!1111

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