Stanford players are smart

Just ask any one of them. They’ll tell you. They’ll even use big words when they do and speak with an English affectation. They’re not stupid like Michigan players.

They suck at football though. So when they do actually win a game against a good team, sportswriters can usually be counted on to write a story about how Stanford does it with real students.

Or as the Los Angeles Times columnist put it, ‘The university pays a price for high academic standards, but these scholars figured out how to beat USC.’

They somehow ‘figured out’ that USC quarterback John David Booty is a slow-footed buffoon who locks on to his receivers.

Eureka!

‘My Stanford education didn’t prepare me for this!’