No Dog In The Fight: How To Choose Sides In A Rivalry Game - Ohio St/Michigan

Nothing arouses passion like the the rivalry game. The backyard brawl, the battle for bragging rights, the border war tussle. Even a fan with no dog in the fight can feel the tension…and their own confusion. Who to pull for? Investing yourself for three hours in a team that is not your own can be deeply satisfying, but if you choose foolishly, you’ll feel as dirty as Paris Hilton’s sheets.

I’ve done that work for you.

I’ve applied dynamic methodologies understood only by the ancients to each of these rivalries. I will omit our two rivalry games - OU & A&M - to maintain my flawless record of objectivity. After reading this analysis, you’ll know who to pull for.

I start with #1 on my list: Ohio State - Michigan.

Arguably, no game has captured the college football imagination more. No jerseys have captured more consonants uninterrupted by vowels. No struggle has featured more Polaks and Ukranians making big plays at 5.1 seconds per 40 yard clip. No gridiron explosion has featured more fullback dives on 3rd and 7. The stakes are always high. The winner of the game gets bragging rights, a Big 10 Title, and a trip to the Rose Bowl…where they will be pummeled senseless by their warm weather opponent.

Ohio St - Michigan

Pageantry/Tradition

Michigan has appealing colors and iconic helmets. It’s the class of college football. The Buckeyes have the colorful Woody Hayes, a certifiably insane gridiron version of Larry Bud Melman. Michigan’s fight song makes me want to conquer a city-state. Ohio State’s fight song makes me want to spell out loud while doing the Village People’s Y-M-C-A. Michigan has a game day tradition of 110,000 people being racously quiet. Ohio State has a game day tradition of a band dork rendering a crowd orgasmic by successfully facilitating the spelling of their state name. Michigan is the all-time leader in college football wins and has won or shared 42 Big 10 Titles. Ohio State has 7 Heisman winners, at least of five of them actually deserved. When talking MNCs, suffice to say that both programs have won a large number of them, but they both seem to suffer from Alabama syndrome where they count the Dayton Light Shopper or The What’s On In Flint Weekend Guide as a wire service empowered to bestow titles.


Woody Hayes hates Clemson…and Paul Schaeffer

Advantage: Michigan Michigan is class; Ohio State’s helmets look like they lost a paintball match

Grievances

Michigan has an unsympathetic head coach. Appalachian State? I mean, really. Lloyd Carr is the guy on your street that gives out pennies and toothbrushes to trick or treaters and fist-shaking lectures to any kid who belts a baseball into his backyard. Mack Brown could probably beat him in Stratego. Michigan’s telegenic appeal forces the East Coast media to consistently overrate Mike Hart and Chad Henne. If I want to watch a slow, undersized back run for four gutty yards (without fumbling, mind you! Mike Hart just doesn’t fumble, folks) I’ll become an Amherst fan. Einstein gave us relativity theory, the Italians gave us the Renaissance, Mike Hart gave us 2nd and 6. Chad Henne - regular fixture on every pre-season Heisman list since his freshman year - is an impressive monument to media vapidity. Let me break it down very simply, Chad: you’re throwing to Mario Manningham behind an oustanding OL. How is it you manage to continuously fuck that up?

Ohio State’s propensity for dishing out HGH like skittles to their LBs is irritating. If I want to see pronounced supraorbital ridges on BALCO engineered Caucasian tackle mutants, I’ll throw on Clan of The Cave Bear. They’re like the New Nebraska, but without the lovable walk-ons. The sweater vests need to be mothballed, Jim. We haven’t worn those since The Cosby Show left the air. Speaking of clothing, the Ohio State fan sartorial general issue of David Boston starter jersey, jorts, exterior cell phone belt clip, braided gold chain, and British Knight high tops is worse than Stephen Baldwin’s career. Shave your goatee as well.


AJ Hawk wants Geico

Advantage: Michigan Queer Eye For The Buckeye is needed

Random Endearing Traits

Michigan: Wolverines! Red Dawn. That’s what I’m talking about. Also, damn good school. If not for Cal, the finest public university on the planet. Respect.

Ohio State: Jesse Owens went here. 1936 Olympiad. Fuck off, Hitler.

Advantage: Ohio State If I don’t give this to OSU, I’ll be suspected of Nazi sympathies


Can’t go against Jesse

Talent

No, I’m not talking Charles Woodson vs. David Boston. I mean talent. Both schools are located just south of the Arctic circle, inhabited by similar numbers of pasty girls. What is it about the Midwest that so frequently pairs an angelic face with a plonky caboose? That written, Michigan’s academic prowess mean a large contingent of East Coast womyn with an inattention to the treadmill and collectivist political agendas. Ohio State has some big titted girls from Ironton who will think you’re romantic if you let them order outside of the meal deal. Ohio State gets the edge, but neither school passes the line of acceptability.

Advantage: Ohio State Get yourself to a SEC campus, pronto

Personal Experience

Today’s wildcard is personal experience. I stayed at the Michigan player hotel in Glendale for our Rose Bowl matchup in ‘05. I was surrounded by their most ardent supporters. I experienced handshakes, respectful questions about our team (Vince Young seems overrated, but should we be worried about Cedric Benson?), and offers of good luck. At the game itself, while Michigan iced Mangum for the game winning field goal attempt, all of the Texas & Michigan fans shook hands and wished each other luck, no matter the result. I’ve never seen less tension between two fan bases at a closely contested game in my life. Both fan bases cheered hard and respectfully. It was fun.

One year later, Texas fans trip to Columbus. They bring back tales of jort-sporting jackanapes, parking lots full of angry white trash hooping it up like it was Talladega (and Texas is Jeff Gordon), beer and bottles thrown at kids, families, old people. As a friend described it,”Imagine every guy who has ever keyed someone’s car standing around outside of a stadium.” Young guys getting in the faces of women; grandpas getting a face full of beer and an earful of invectives. This clearly violates the Iron Law of Fandom: Thou shall not antagonize women, children, old people, families. Other young males are fair game. This is known in every place on the planet but Columbus, Ohio. This has nothing to do with passion or commitment. It has to do with a school culture where it’s a socially accepted norm to be a complete douche. Pointing this out to Ohio State fans engenders only defensiveness, not introspection.


I want you. To attend Ohio State

Advantage: Michigan Douchebaggery will simply not be tolerated

Final Result: 3-2

Michigan. By triangle choke.

You should pull for Michigan.

  1. StuckinMN
    November 12, 2007 at 6:45 pm

    I attended both the 05 Rose Bowl and the game in that third world, jort-infested, rust belt dump. May Columbus to be lit by the flames of a thousand couch fires on Saturday night.

  2. Ed
    November 12, 2007 at 6:50 pm

    “They bring back tales of jort-sporting jackanapes, parking lots full of angry white trash hooping it up like it was Talladega (and Texas is Jeff Gordon), beer and bottles thrown at kids, families, old people. …Young guys getting in the faces of women; grandpas getting a face full of beer and an earful of invectives.”

    Wow, sounds a lot like the scene outside DKR.

  3. theEdge
    November 12, 2007 at 6:57 pm

    Fuck lion

    Advantage: Michigan

    Final Result: 4-2

  4. bighornfan32
    November 12, 2007 at 7:22 pm

    Wow, sounds a lot like the scene outside DKR.

    Sarcasm, please?

  5. Longhorn_Steve
    November 12, 2007 at 7:28 pm

    “Wow, sounds a lot like the scene outside DKR.”

    could this possibly be the most ignorant and uninformed statement ever written on the interwebs? Have you ever been to a game at DKR? No. You haven’t.

  6. MilkmanDan
    November 12, 2007 at 8:19 pm

    It was the word “scene” that gave it away.

  7. Walter Cronkite
    November 12, 2007 at 8:20 pm

    Ed is a dumbass. We’re Texas!

  8. CrazyJoeDavola
    November 12, 2007 at 8:47 pm

    “What is it about the Midwest that so frequently pairs an angelic face with a plonky caboose?”

    Direct importation of the Northern European gene pool.

  9. McLovin
    November 12, 2007 at 10:40 pm

    Michigan and SC offered some of the best fans I’ve encountered at each of the Rose Bowls. Making the trip to Columbus was one of the worst decisions of my life, victory or not. I’ll even stop to watch a televised men’s gymnastics competition if it means another opportunity to root against an Ohio State douche.

  10. beowulf
    November 13, 2007 at 4:46 am

    ssr50 is somewhere lustfully swooning with the vapors over scipio and fully endorses this post.

  11. srr50
    November 13, 2007 at 5:37 am

    Best. Thread. EVAR

  12. SeeingRed
    November 13, 2007 at 5:52 am

    Concur, but just having fuck lion is the equivalent of having gone for two instead of kicking the point to go to OT.

    5-2

    hell to dat vicar val ant, mothafucka!

  13. Deguello
    November 13, 2007 at 6:03 am

    A Wolverine win makes the Michigan fans I met in Pasadena happy and makes the Ohio State fans I “met” in Columbus so very sad. That’s enough for me. Go Blue!

  14. CrazyJoeDavola
    November 13, 2007 at 6:21 am

    Me, I’ll always root for the Wolverines in the same way I root for the Colts over the Patriots.

    As in: The Colts/Wolverines seem like regular human beings. Whereas the Pats/Buckeyes seem like Daleks.

  15. CrazyJoeDavola
    November 13, 2007 at 6:23 am

    Also, I’ve seen “Cavemen” on ABC. It’s nowhere near as bad as it needs to be.

  16. AugieSpiers
    November 13, 2007 at 7:27 am

    CJD has clearly never been to Northern Europe.

  17. HenryJames
    November 13, 2007 at 7:30 am

    CJD has never been outside of Pasadena.

  18. The Masked Wino
    November 13, 2007 at 7:36 am

    Michigan fans were the classiest I’ve met on a road trip. It was like hanging out with a bunch of Texas fans… who happened to be rooting for the opposing team.

  19. BrickHorn
    November 13, 2007 at 7:59 am

    “As in: The Colts/Wolverines seem like regular human beings. Whereas the Pats/Buckeyes seem like Daleks.”

    What NFL/College duo play the role of the Cybermen?

  20. Crown & Coke
    November 13, 2007 at 8:07 am

    Bullseyes from top to bottom, as usual. Although I tend to disagree with your assertion that Cal is the world’s top public school. I’m pretty sure UVa pw3ns all in that regard.

  21. Ed
    November 13, 2007 at 8:14 am

    Forgive me for being such a jackass earlier in this thread

  22. utstudboy
    November 13, 2007 at 8:14 am

    Those comments about Columbus are dead on.

  23. Macanudo
    November 13, 2007 at 10:08 am

    “CJD has never been outside of Pasadena.”

    Let’s be fair. He’s been to Galena Park once.

  24. Drew
    November 13, 2007 at 11:28 am

    Midwestern women = SOFAs

    Sweater. Over. Fat. Asses.

  25. srr50
    November 13, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    A commemorative coin featuring Wolverines coach Bo Schembechler and Ohio State coach Woody Hayes will be used in the pregame coin flip at Michigan Stadium.

    So, anyone wanna give odds that the Ohio State captains will call “Schembechler” on the toss?

  26. CrazyJoeDavola
    November 13, 2007 at 4:21 pm

    I wanna know the odds on Jim Tressel giving Mike Hart a commemorative punch in the throat.

    BTW you bunch of losers: I’ve also been to Deer Park. I almost went to Kemah once, but chickened out because I knew a rube like me couldn’t hang with those sophisticates.

  27. michwlv
    November 13, 2007 at 5:43 pm

    I’m wearing my Texas shirt right now! I’m a Michigan fan and was working in Texas…a bunch of Texas boys told me if I was going to be working in Texas I had to have the proper clothing! They went out and bought me a Hook Em Horns shirt…and I’ve rooted for Texas ever since. They are my favorite Big 12 team. So thanks to all those Horns who are rooting for UofM!

  28. Phillip
    November 13, 2007 at 6:38 pm

    Here is a shirt you can buy that says it all:

    http://tinyurl.com/2qf6og

  29. Texoz
    November 13, 2007 at 6:53 pm

    A commemorative coin featuring Wolverines coach Bo Schembechler and Ohio State coach Woody Hayes will be used in the pregame coin flip at Michigan Stadium.

    So, anyone wanna give odds that the Ohio State captains will call “Schembechler” on the toss?

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    I’m willing to bet that as the coin falls to earth from the Referee’s toss, the Woody Hayes side of the coin reaches out and donkey punches the Michigan players.

  30. Tim
    November 13, 2007 at 7:40 pm

    You should try being a Michigan fan traveling to Columbus. Unbelievable. Most of us now know better than to take anyone who can’t defend themselves - Even older fans, women and kids need to be careful.

    BTW - I hated playing Texas because I like Texas. For years you have played the Michigan role in the Big 12, a legit excellent academic University taking on evil empires (Barry Switzer = Jim Tressel) and an instate cheating Ag school.

    Texas is one of the few elite programs I can pull for with almost no reservations that actually has a chance to win. I’d much rather beat a team that makes me wretch - like OSU.

    Note: I concede the talent point to OSU, but Ann Arbor is lightyears ahead of Columbus.
    Also, do we get a bonus point for Lloyd retiring?

  31. srr50
    November 13, 2007 at 8:54 pm

    “Also, do we get a bonus point for Lloyd retiring?”

    Yes, but if Les Miles is hired as his replacement, that cancels out the bonus.

  32. jimmyjazz
    November 13, 2007 at 10:40 pm

    I married a tOSU grad.

    I fixed that problem.

    Now I’m married to a UT grad. The differences are, shall we say, “striking”. Maybe it’s just me. (Doubtful.)

    SOFA = brutal, but truthful.

  33. Michigan Grad
    November 14, 2007 at 4:09 am

    This was a fantastic read. I’m very glad to have been forwarded to this blog and thread–very amusing.

    Anyway, I interact with Texas fans on message boards frequently, and I have to add that Longhorns tend to be a very classy and entertaining bunch. Moreover, I contend that our Universities are highly similar, both athletically and academically.

    Anyway, have a great day, and… Hook ‘Em!

  34. SeeingRed
    November 14, 2007 at 5:51 am

    Not to mention Texas denied Dubya admission to their law school proving that, if nothing else, y’all have much higher standards than Harvard when it comes to postgrad admissions.

  35. DBH
    November 14, 2007 at 7:05 am

    Excellence in bloggery.

  36. LonghornScott
    November 14, 2007 at 7:20 am

    Hear that CJD? The Michigan Grad thinks you’re classy.

  37. wolverine81
    November 14, 2007 at 9:41 am

    Great blog. From a Michigan fan, Hook ‘Em!!

    http://www.richrobots.com/?mod=cat&id=57

  38. HenryJames
    November 14, 2007 at 9:47 am

    Don’t get me started on Ohio State.

  39. BigSatan
    November 14, 2007 at 9:53 am

    Ha. What happened to you on your Ohio State trip HJ? Didn’t someone try to spit in your mouth and steal your shoes while you were still wearing them?

  40. utstudboy
    November 14, 2007 at 9:58 am

    I had to keep my 65 year old mom out of fights. A lot of their fans were awful and my first thought when I realized that we were going to win the game was …how am I going to get out of here alive (or at least uninjured). We walked forever and then caught a ride with a couple from Palestine (we did not know them but they were wearing orange)

    To be fair they have some great fans as well.

  41. Sailor Ripley
    November 14, 2007 at 10:21 am

    HenryJames once penned a sort of Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage about his trip to the rust belt. Is it saved anywhere?

  42. Wolvealumnus
    November 14, 2007 at 12:04 pm

    To further comment on the talent section. I was at a Michigan v Notre Dame game in Ann Arbor(I think it was 88) and some ND students were sitting next to me and said “you have a lot of good looking women on this campus.” I was completely stunned and (this was neither true nor normally stated in Ann Arbor) asked the guys “it it that bad in South Bend?” The response was “you have no idea”. So there is a higher score out there.

  43. Stuck in MN
    November 14, 2007 at 12:26 pm

    utstudboy- survival was also my first thought once I figured out we would win. I remember all of us wandering around in a group for protection looking for a cab to get us out of that dump. Finally around 1 a.m. we flagged down a shuttle for a different hotel and bribed the guy $100 to take us to our hotel.

  44. HenryJames
    November 14, 2007 at 12:31 pm

    All of their fans over the age of 25 were cool. All of their fans under 25 can die in a couch fire.

  45. Woody Bombay
    November 14, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    I spent a brief amount of time a Michigan lass who was, in fact, quite physically attractive in all aspects. Are you guys telling me she was the only one?

    Other than that, now, she was about as interesting as a crate of used AA batteries. But still.

  46. Doperbo
    November 14, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    HenryJames accounts of his escapades in Columbus read more like a Poe novel than a travelogue. You’re never really sure which parts the narrator is lying about and which ones he’s just on opium.

    I bet Kevin has them archived.

  47. Michael
    November 14, 2007 at 2:51 pm

    Im a OSU fan and I went to UT for the game we spent time both in Austin and Houston it was great and I cant wait to go back to both cities the fans for the most part were great, at one point around 1am friday night about 150 young adults took to the street half in scarlet and gray and half in burnt orange it started with each side cheering and ended with high fives and good lucks(i was stunned)…one lady after the game put it best “there is just so many of you” and estimated 50,000 OSU fans went to the game.

    As for Columbus it is a dangerous city on game day and i do not condone a bunch of 18-24 year olds fueled by alcohol going after opposing fans.

    Tim: “I concede the talent point to OSU, but Ann Arbor is lightyears ahead of Columbus.”…if you are talking about academics its not the same old OSU. our Grad programs are top 25 in the country and we pump more money into all kinds of research than any school in the country.

  48. Sailor Ripley
    November 14, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    Doperbo - You are right. I was just trying to make allowances for HJ’s bi-curiousity and club foot.

  49. Shark
    November 14, 2007 at 4:06 pm

    Classic. Especially the talent section. I went to Michigan State and we were always shunned by U of M because entrance to MSU basically required a 6th grade reading level. We simply replied with “9 out of 10 beautiful women from the state of Michigan go to Michigan State. The other one goes to Central Michigan”. Retorts usually consisted of things like, “Oh yeah, well nice Mechanical Engineering school you guys have!”

    The joke doesn’t capture it well enough. I’m talking Fugly humanoids that have dangling X chromosomes. Most could have easily been mistaken for feminine guys with man boobs.

    Very smart though and if you squinted and stuck with doggy style your “bride” could make six figures post graduation.

  50. Squirrel
    November 14, 2007 at 4:08 pm

    Solid.

    “Midwestern women = SOFAs

    Sweater. Over. Fat. Asses.”

    Nice Drew! :-D

  51. Seankranz
    November 14, 2007 at 4:16 pm

    Trying to lend a bit of objective opinion here, as I am a Michigan State grad with intricate and multiple visits to each campus (OSU and Michigan that is) as well as one to Austin circa July ‘02.

    I’ll keep my summary brief and to the point…UT girls are beyond beautiful, seemingly requirement for admission.

    Michigan fans are blue through and through, usually, with the exception of douchebag fraternity brothers trying to establish their group dominance (not frat bashing, I was in one), fun-loving and will shake your hand at the end of a game. Although, they tend to be a little elitist and seem to think they deserve their incumbent pre-season top five rating every year…not to mention their embrace of the self-appointed nickname, “Harvard of the West”.

    Ohio State is populated by neolithic outcasts. I played a sport at MSU and can say that whether it be their fans or actual onfield sportsmanship, the young population associated with that school are completely classless freaks.

  52. osuguy
    November 14, 2007 at 5:01 pm

    go bucks! enough said

  53. ColumbusWolverine
    November 14, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    I was born and raised in Columbus and I went to school at U of M. Even though you gave Michigan the edge in your little analysis, you also insulted Mike Hart. Mike Hart is the messiah.

    Also, SeanKranz, you got it backwards: Harvard is the Michigan of the East.

  54. Scipio Tex
    November 14, 2007 at 6:56 pm

    Thanks for all the comments thus far…

    Who watched the Michigan/Ohio St special last night?

    The 1950 game was unreal.

    Woody Hayes was a raving lunatic.

    You fought over Toledo!?!

    I was also amused at the characterization of the Buckeye supporters - it was a highbrow documentary, thus the word “douche” was never actually uttered, but still…

    As for Mike Hart, forgive my slight as he is a nice example of an athlete who has maximized every ounce of his athletic ability. I don’t mean that as faint praise either. The guy is just solid. I don’t see elite. Mario Manningham on the other hand…there’s your messiah. An Ohio guy too, it appears.

  55. BenAA
    November 14, 2007 at 9:15 pm

    On behalf of the State of Michigan- Thank-you for your athletes Texas.

  56. ChrisApplewhite
    November 14, 2007 at 9:19 pm

    Mike Hart damn near beat Texas in the Rose Bowl all by his damn self. He will forever have my respect for that performance.

  57. Michael
    November 14, 2007 at 9:26 pm

    Thats just it mike hart almost wins a lot of games for michigan. but mike hart doesnt play in your secondary or on your defensive line. Its great to have a player for the fans to rally behind. but thats pretty much all they can do in rutgers(ray rice), and arkansas(mcfadden). mike hart did not win you a natl championship, he wont win you one this year, and until the outcome of saturdays game there is the possibility he wont win you a big ten title again.

  58. Sailor Ripley
    November 14, 2007 at 9:54 pm

    Uh, Steve Breaston.

  59. McLovin
    November 14, 2007 at 11:01 pm

    Scipio - there’s some additional ripe material in the KU - Mizzou matchup. Who knew there was really much of a rivalry there? They are coming out with hysterical t-shirts and the smack talk seems to revolve around the Civil War. It’s awesome. Good fodder for a gifted writer.

    I’m just saying. Y’all get to it.

  60. Mike
    November 15, 2007 at 1:58 am

    Michigan alum and finishing up law school back at Michigan right now…dated a lass from UT for awhile, and, yes, she was quite talented. Point UT on that one for sure, but that’s as obvious as stating that jorts are church attire in Buckeye country. Just here to discredit the OSU poster stating that “all of their grad programs are in the top 25 nationally.” A bit…ahem, curious. Moritz, their law school, when I applied, was somewhere around 40 or 50 in the US News rankings; Michigan was and still is in the top 10. (I applied three years ago- finishing up now) so, yeah- typical Buckeye math there. And their Med school isn’t top 25, either- It’s 31st; 21 spots behind ours. (http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/usnews/edu/grad/rankings/med/brief/mdrrank_brief.php)…so, yeah. But I will give them this: I was surprised to find that their Business school is ranked 22nd in the nation (11 spots behind ours), so…1 out of 3 in what many would consider to be the three biggest categories of graduate school.

    Anyway, just chalk this up to that Michigan arrogance when it comes to OSU. I am okay with that.

  61. srr50
    November 15, 2007 at 5:44 am

    In 1975 Baylor played Michigan in an early season contest and the game ended in a 14-14 tie.

    The next Monday, Grant Teaff was called out of a coaches meeting by his assistant who said Woody Hayes was on the phone and insisted on talking to Teaff.

    Hayes then began to ask detailed questions about the Michigan tie, such as what the Wolverines did in certain third down situations and what defensive schemes were used, etc.

    After a few minutes Teaff said, “Woody, I will be glad to go into detail with you over the game later, but this is September, you don’t play Michigan for another two months.”

    Wood replied, “We play Michigan every Monday.”

  62. Harry H
    November 15, 2007 at 9:00 am

    If you’re wondering why Michigan relented in the fight for Toledo (as told by the HBO special), Michiganders stopped fighting only because we got statehood and the Upper Peninsula instead. Who got the better deal?

    Link 1

    Link 2

    Source:
    Wikipedia

  63. Matt
    November 15, 2007 at 9:02 am

    Michigan is one of the worst teams I have every seen. Sure they were good in the past but this is the future. Carr can stay all he wants.

    Go Buckeyes!!!!

  64. Packer487
    November 15, 2007 at 11:07 am

    At that Texas/Michigan Rose Bowl, the Texas fans were classy enough that I now root for the Longhorns whenever it won’t negatively impact Michigan for them to win. Great people, and a blast to watch the game with. And what a fricken awesome game (regardless of the outcome).

  65. Super
    November 15, 2007 at 11:38 am

    Jesus.

    The question we should be moving on to now, Scipio, is whether tOSU is more Couch-burning Sooner or Swing-state Aggy.

  66. Macanudo
    November 15, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    “We walked forever and then caught a ride with a couple from Palestine”

    They must have been quite familiar with the burning items and street fights. Oh, did you mean Palestine, TX?

  67. Andrew
    November 15, 2007 at 4:47 pm

    AH, the OSU, Michigan rivalry. Having spent six years obtaining a doctorate at OSU followed by stints at U. of Penn. and CWRU, I can accurately reflect on the Michigan superiority complex, in sports and academics. “At Michigan they teach us to wash our hands after taking a piss, at OSU they teach us not to piss on our hands. For you Michigan fans that don’t understand, it dosn’t surprise me.

  68. EmeraldCityWolverine
    November 15, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    Matt… umm…

    “Michigan is one of the worst teams I have every seen. Sure they were good in the past but this is the future.”

    Don’t they teach you about a thing called the ‘present’ at tOSU?

  69. K
    November 15, 2007 at 5:39 pm

    @Andrew

    “Having spent six years obtaining a doctorate at OSU followed by stints at U. of Penn. and CWRU, I can accurately reflect on the Michigan superiority complex, in sports and academics.”

    Do you realize what an enormous tool you sound like?

    “Having spent” “stints”

    I love it.

  70. BubbRubb
    November 15, 2007 at 7:19 pm

    Texas fans and Michigan fans…why don’t you stop flirting with each other and suck each others weiners already!

    The one thing that your “objective” essay failed to mention is that neither of your teams are in the hunt for the National Championship this year.

    Tastes like Sour grapes to me. Stop hatin’. Go Ducks!

  71. Andrew #2
    November 15, 2007 at 11:37 pm

    of course this is written by a texas fan — please everyone jump on the Hate OSU bandwagon and not know why other than everyone else is doing it

    oh well, heavy lies the crown - GO BUCKS

  72. Andrew #2
    November 15, 2007 at 11:37 pm

    and i just jumped in Mirror Lake soo — osu is the obvious winner

  73. Sailor Ripley
    November 16, 2007 at 12:41 am

    Shakespeare also hates OSU.

  74. Victor
    November 16, 2007 at 2:27 am

    Of course Michigan fans were nice at the Rose Bowl. In their minds that season was already a success. It seems to me like getting there is far more important to them than actually winning it is. It’s a good mindset but a little funny at the same time. Admit it, some of you Michigan guys out there proudly wear your ‘04-’05 back-to-back Rose Bowl shirts even though you lost both of those games (my brother in law loves his).
    Oh, and then you have the whole Columbus fiasco. That place turns into a zoo for big games as it is but to compound things that game was at night and it’s at the very worst a 2 1/2 hour drive to Columbus from even the furthest, dirtiest, most obnoxious reaches of Ohio. It’s pretty easy to show up and be a dick if you don’t have to get up early and you don’t have to stay in town overnight. Not a fun place to win a football game if you are visiting.

  75. Victor
    November 16, 2007 at 2:32 am

    Oh, and jerk-off fans aside it’s pretty hard to pick against OSU this weekend. Between recent history and current injury reports it’s just hard to pull the trigger on Michigan. Sorry guys.

  76. Stuck in MN
    November 16, 2007 at 6:50 am

    “The one thing that your “objective” essay failed to mention is that neither of your teams are in the hunt for the National Championship this year.

    Tastes like Sour grapes to me. Stop hatin’. Go Ducks!”

    Boy, this little post got a lot funnier this morning.

  77. tOSU's Own Liver Spotted Bill Little
    November 16, 2007 at 7:16 am

    Michigan won the border skirmish discussed in the ESPN documentary. Ohio was forced to take Toledo.

  78. Minnesotahorn
    November 16, 2007 at 7:18 am

    The neatest part of this deal is OSU fans showing up to validate everything said about them.

    You know who you fellas would get along well with? OU fans. Peas in a pod my friends.

  79. Wolvealumnus
    November 16, 2007 at 8:37 am

    OSU fans need to realize that M & UT fans got along because it was a football game, not real life. After the game the beer is still cold.

    I have often thought tOSU really belongs in the SEC. They have the same life or death mentality found mostly south of the Mason Dixon.

  80. HenryJames
    November 16, 2007 at 8:39 am

    And they wear jorts.

    Jorts.

  81. tOSU's Own Liver Spotted Bill Little
    November 16, 2007 at 8:40 am

    The problem with tOSU fans is that they are the only BCS program in a football crazy state. Also, Columbus is smack dab in the middle of the state so every unemployed 18-25 year old deadender from Akron, Canton, Toledo, Dayton, Youngstown and the dozen of other small cities in Ohio jump in their 93 Cutlasses and drive two hours to Columbus to harass the enemies.

    The result in what you see on big gamedays there. The alums are no different than any other massive state school. The problem are the students and hangers on.

  82. Paul
    November 16, 2007 at 9:44 am

    I’ve been a Buckeye fan since most of the posters have been alive. I was at the game that Archie Griffin set the OSU rushing record in his freshman year. And everything said here about OSU fans, ages 18-24 is true. They truly are an embarrassment to the rest of us.

  83. Scipio Tex
    November 17, 2007 at 12:21 pm

    Worst. Game. Ever.

    Manningham was uncharacteristically awful and Chad Henne has to go down as the most overrated college QB since Rick Mirer. Never has someone with so much hype been so irrelevant when his team needs him the most. He’s the anti-VY.

    Michigan is a decaying program. They need a new coach, new players, and a new attitude.

  84. Doperbo
    November 17, 2007 at 1:42 pm

    I feel your pain Scipio. This team pisses casual fans off. That is pretty hard to pull off.

  85. HenryJames
    November 17, 2007 at 2:03 pm

    Henne averaged 2 yards per attempt.

    Is there a ’star’ on Michigan’s offense who isn’t overrated?

  86. jimmyjazz
    November 17, 2007 at 8:28 pm

    Henne was bad, but OSU’s QB wasn’t much better, and he wasn’t hurt.

    Mike Hart seems like Major Applewhite at running back. I like the guy. Whoever pointed out that he has maximized his talent is dead on — he doesn’t have true NFL talent, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see him play in that league for a few years.

    Manningham was flat fucking awful. I hadn’t seen him play yet — what is the deal? Butterfingers and alligator arms.

  87. Michael
    November 18, 2007 at 8:00 pm

    Had the chance to go to the game it was awesome. The best part was some of the OSU players jumping into the stands to hand their moms the roses. As for Henne after four years he is what he is not surprising to me at all. His recievers however laid an egg they should be ashaimed. Hart, well I am just glad he is done talking. He went from being a hard working class act to someone who simply has a big bark and no bite. I can not stand players who talk, just go play football. Jake Long did not look so hot either, but I doubt his draft status will change he is the real deal.

    As for the Michigan fans everything said from this post is true. Great pre-game set up on the golf course by the way, I thought that was amazing. If OSU is disliked purely based on too many awful fans then i get it, but thats it. Our coach is always respectful, our team academics are no longer a joke, only a rogue player here or there gets in serious trouble(those are the ones who usually never had a chance), and our players are respectful and say the right things. It is about the football when the game is played at UM and I enjoyed that.

    GREAT hosts UM my hat goes off to you.

  88. Unfrozen Caveman
    November 19, 2007 at 10:03 am

    Many thanks to both teams for playing a game I could appreciate.

  89. OhioT
    November 19, 2007 at 12:30 pm

    Go to a game in Mich, I’ve had both good & bad experiences. Some co-workers went to the Texas v. OSU game AT Texas in 2006 and were not impressed by several Texas fans. But in the 2006 Nat’l Championship, OSU and Gator fans had a great time before, during, after the game. At least that was my experience. Everybody has their idiot fans who ruin it for both sides.

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