Texas/CU Football Post-Mortem
Hawk Kwan Do is No Can Do. I predicted a 31-13 Longhorn victory and certainly thought we’d cover, but I didn’t expect our scrubs to be in the game with 10:00 left in the 4th quarter.
Beautiful Boulder
Note to Colorado opponents: please never schedule Colorado on Free Cast Iron Paperweight Night. Or Free Shuriken Night. Or Free Hunk Of Uranium Night.
Fortunately for us, it was Free T-Shirt Night. Colorado’s notoriously raucous, fickle and football ignorant student section rained soft yellow (oh, I mean gold) cotton casual flags of surrender on our team every time we scored; creating a nice metaphor for their football team. Soft, pliant, breathable - Buffalo Football Fever -catch it! Sadly, several co-eds exhibited better arm strength than Cody Hawkins. When we went up 21-0, the CU fans started making their friends into shirt monsters, texting, and cutting hashish deals. Colorado fans, dude. Too funny. How are you not in the Pac 10?
Come to think of it, why aren’t we?
They’re the only team we play that makes us feel like Pinochet.
Our first battle of the year happens in Dallas. And then our next. Then our next. Then our next.
It’s time to strap it on because it’s real football from here on out.
Defense
Could a rich alum please give Will Muschamp an oil well or a New Guinean copper mine interest? Before the game, Muschamp said he wanted his defense to experience adversity. We did. Briefly. This year, offenses inside our 20 have a weird habit of tracing their footsteps backwards like Nicholson’s kid in The Shining. I’m getting used to being pleasantly surprised by the improvements I see every Saturday on defense. Will Muschamp is the guns and religion I cling to.
We’ve fully committed to man under, two deep. Palmer on the occasional island isn’t my favorite prospect, but that’s football. Chykie Brown’s island remind me of Kauai and Palmer is more Easter. Bobino is his moai.
Stout against the run!
Abercrombie and Fitch modeling scouts, avoid the Colorado football complex. When they flashed up pics of Colorado’s offensive starters, I have to admit to shaking my head. I haven’t seen an offense that homely since the ‘85 Celtics were running pick and rolls. I mouthed a quiet prayer of thanks for this being a helmeted sport. I’m not implying George Clooney is on our depth chart, but a shower might be nice.
Cody Hawkins is bad enough to start in the SEC West. Chykie Brown and the rest of our DBs were dominant. Last week, I wrote that the light was turning on for Earl Thomas. It’s getting brighter. Blake Gideon continues to play like a 5th year senior. In watching the replay he laid some serious wood - on one sideline tackle knocking Scotty McKnight sillier than a Berkeley tree-sitter. Did you know that Gideon is a coach’s son? Gutty and knowledgeable, those coach’s sons. He is the Ed McCaffrey of safety play. We now rank 39th in the nation in passing efficiency defense - about 20 spots higher than could have be reasonably expected coming in.
Our DL is the best in the league and in the top 3 or 4 in college football. Houston, Lewis and Miller completely dominated inside and our edge players passed Cody Hawkins through their stool post-game like he was Wolf brand chili mixed with corn. Muckelroy played a really nice game - a very violent one in fact - and Jared Norton rallied to put forth his best effort of the year. Muckelroy is quickly becoming one of my favorite Longhorn players ever. Every snap was a jailbreak. Roy Miller was the defensive player of the game. The Colorado center - Rimington Award candidate senior Daniel Sanders - just lost any chance of getting on Barking Carnival’s post-season All-Big 12 team. He owes his team a teary Tim Tebow moment.
Offense
I fear 3rd and 1 like it was Chuck Norris. It’s now a passing down for us. Texas Tech is more physical in the running game than we are. Boo!
Colt was very good again and his two interceptions bothered me not at all. His first was a typical learning opportunity every QB needs to be reminded of from time to time. Belief that you can will the ball through the defender? Check! Throwing willfully into coverage? Check! Across your body? Check! Receiver at poor angle? Check! It happens. Post-throw, I was most pleased to see Colt immediately assume the demeanor of a personal injury attorney - yeah, I just threw out some bullshit, go fuck yourself, OK? Here comes some more if I feel like it. QBs can’t be plagued with conscience. Even the ones in FCA. The sooner a QB grinds Jiminny Cricket under his heel like a Kafka protagonist, the better he’ll be. The second pick was a volleyball set from Ullman and that’s not on Mr. McCoy. Back to run blocking for you, Peter. New rule: white tight ends with Grizzly Adams beards don’t get issued a receiver eligible number. Colt is playing at a high level and his play over the back half of the season and his senior year will determine whether he’s the third greatest QB to ever take snaps on the 40 Acres. (If you can’t name #1 and #2, turn in your fan card now; no, not Mark Murdock)
Chris Ogbonnaya had his best game as a Longhorn. Not in his typical “Oh, nice little catch for 9 yards there, Chris!” sort of way either. He was game-altering. Although he’s unlikely to be the every down solution at HB, he made things happen. Amazing how losing 15 pounds can help a player locate his dynamism. I’m looking at you, Cody Johnson. Chris combined with Colt for a 65 yard play of supreme clutchness, he converted two key third downs with YAC, he had a nifty TD run which resulted in him being brutally buffeted with 14 ounce yellow casual wear, he saved a sure pick 6 off of an errant throw, and then he gouged Colorado for a 51 yard run to set up Cody Johnson’s rugby scrum touchdown. Game ball to you, Chris O. Couldn’t happen to a better dude.
The OL struggled a bit, particularly at OT. Kyle Hix had his worst game as a Longhorn. Allowing 1.5 sacks to CU DE Maurice Lucas - a pass rushing non-entity - is not encouraging. Schematically our running game is a travesty, but that’s just how it is. I will say this though: the zone read was actually blocked well. Colt was under strict orders not to run it, but it opened up for him twice. If we have a significant running play against OU, it will come there. Or on some counter misdirection thingy we may be holding back. Our straight zone play will lead to an immediate 2nd and 11.
John Chiles. Whoa. If we don’t see value as an athlete jack of all trades, why are we using the lure of QB snaps to make him happy if it comes at the price of compromising development for Sherrod Harris? I guess what I’m saying is: stay healthy, Colt.
Special Teams
Colorado’s kicker obviously bet on the game. Good stuff from him. Josh Smith’s I’m-too-cool-to-kneel act was met with an Aaron Williams WWF bodyslam that reconfirms why he will be a great one. The very best DBs in Texas history weren’t just superior athletes - they were also slightly evil. I saw what you did Aaron and I dig it. Hunter Lawrence is now 4 for 4 on the year and his field goal would have been good from 55. Punts and kickoffs were quite solid overall. Our special teams has been shored up considerably and I have great confidence in our kicking game. Our return game still drives me bonkers as I think we’re risking injury to key guys and a dynamo like Curtis Brown is the type of guy that could grow in that role. Oh, well. We’ll just assume I write that in all of these to save myself the future space.
Parting thoughts
Intramurals are over, brother. It’s time for Oklahoma.
October 6, 2008 at 9:54 am
i heart barking carnival
October 6, 2008 at 9:56 am
“Colt is playing at a high level and his play over the back half of the season and his senior year will determine whether he’s the third greatest QB to ever take snaps on the 40 Acres. (If you can’t name #1 and #2, turn in your fan card now; no, not Mark Murdock”
Who’s the odd man out between Vince, Street, and Layne?
October 6, 2008 at 10:08 am
1. Young
2. Layne
3. Street
October 6, 2008 at 10:12 am
And then Murdock?
October 6, 2008 at 10:22 am
Damn. No room for Shannon Kelly in there.
October 6, 2008 at 10:22 am
Street, IMO. The first 2 have their numbers retired for a reason.
October 6, 2008 at 10:25 am
Damn. No room for Shannon Kelly in there.
It’s a god-damned Communist plot by a bunch of godless atheists who hate America.
October 6, 2008 at 10:26 am
Street was a vital catalyst, but people forget that Eddie Phillips ran the bone just as well in 1970. Texas fans consistently overstate the accomplishments of a guy surrounded by dominance who threw for 700 and ran for 400 in 1969.
He was a clutch bus driver. Nothing more. Twelve years later we called him Robert Brewer.
October 6, 2008 at 10:30 am
Pump your breaks, son. That man’s a national treasure.
October 6, 2008 at 10:31 am
I’ve been watching Ullman “vollyball set” passes for several years. Also “frying pan whack” them. Lack of a real TE is the biggest story of this week’s game. And it’s not good for us.
October 6, 2008 at 10:32 am
He was a clutch bus driver.
October 6, 2008 at 10:35 am
You caught that, did you.
October 6, 2008 at 10:58 am
“They’re the only team we play that makes us feel like Pinochet.”
Genius.
October 6, 2008 at 10:59 am
Scipio:
Were you surprised at how much 4-3 UT played vs. CU? My impression was that UT played nickel mainly in obvious passing situations. The UT LBs looked pretty good in pass D. Do you expect that UT will play a lot of 4-3 vs OU?
The blocking of passes by the UT DL was impressive. The DL was able to block passes even when the OL was fully engaging them. Great coaching!
This approach works not only against a short QB but also against short passes across the middle (it is like a mini zone in the middle). Which means that it will probably be effective against Mizzou, Tech, and Kansas. OU tends to throw longer passes so we probably don’t see too many blocked passes vs. OU.
Glad to see that you no longer think that Ullman is a viable threat down the seam (blazing with his 5.2 speed). It was funny to watch Pete bat down that pass from Colt like it was a hand grenade. Pete also does not have a clue about blocking out a smaller player from defending a pass to Pete. The best TEs have played plenty of big man basketball and have mastered that wierd combination of aggressiveness and finesse that you need on the front line.
Since the D can nearly ignore the TEs, what is the point of playing with one TE? Why not replace the TE with an H back (as you suggestd previously) or go with 4 wide and start passing 45 times/game? the running game will improve just because the opposition D will be focusing on defending the pass.
Cody didn’t look too good running vs. CU but he did look great blocking. do you think there is any chance that UT will start using Cody at H back or FB rather than Ullman at TE?
October 6, 2008 at 11:11 am
We were laughing about how the CU LB’s were not even bothering to cover Ullman on most of his “routes”. They figured that even if Colt threw it to him, and even if he caught it, they would be able to finish a hand of poker before tackling him for 2 yards of RAC.
October 6, 2008 at 11:21 am
How does a dude like Ullman get recruited to Texas? I’m sure he’s a great teammate with solid test scores and everything, but if you can’t run or catch, how do you get a schollie to play TE at Texas?
October 6, 2008 at 11:27 am
It’s me, right? I mean, they retired my number for a reason…
October 6, 2008 at 11:32 am
“Fortunately for us, it was Free T-Shirt Night. Colorado’s notoriously raucous, fickle and football ignorant student section rained soft yellow (oh, I mean gold) cotton casual flags of surrender on our team every time we scored; creating a nice metaphor for their football team.”
I assume you meant it was a golden shower metaphor
October 6, 2008 at 11:36 am
Peter Ullman= Kyle Kregal.
October 6, 2008 at 12:27 pm
How does a dude like Ullman get recruited to Texas? I’m sure he’s a great teammate with solid test scores and everything, but if you can’t run or catch, how do you get a schollie to play TE at Texas?
Because he might have put on a shit ton of weight and become a tackle.
October 6, 2008 at 12:38 pm
“The very best DBs in Texas history weren’t just superior athletes - they were also slightly evil”
Or, in the case of Mossy Cade, full-on evil.
October 6, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Johnny Johnson and Jerry Gray were the best of all time at UT. No evil there. None.
October 6, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I disagree
October 6, 2008 at 1:14 pm
I called Joe Walker evil many a time.
October 6, 2008 at 1:54 pm
And who could forget Paul Behrman vs Tech? Evil incarnate.
October 6, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Nathan Vasher and Carlos Francis starring in the
Texas Punt Return Massacre.
October 6, 2008 at 3:08 pm
For CU fans not to throw SWAG on the field, they could have made hashish the giveaway item.
You thought I was going to say ziplock baggies, D-cell batteries and blow-up girls, right?
The Longhorns dominated (again). As a Buff loyalist, I’m holding out hope that the good people and players in Austin will reciprocate. You never know if Coach Hawk can find a long lost second cousin who happens to be also a dual-threat QB. Do you guys have any 5-star QB’s in your 2009 recruiting class you might send our way?
October 6, 2008 at 3:50 pm
sorry, we already gave one to LSU
October 6, 2008 at 4:07 pm
And Ole Miss.
October 7, 2008 at 3:28 am
“…our edge players passed Cody Hawkins through their stool post-game like he was Wolf brand chili mixed with corn.”
I cannot quit laughing at that no matter how hard I try.
October 7, 2008 at 9:33 am
You guys played a great game, you have a very good Defense. I wish we didn’t have 4 OL starters out for that game, and I wish our kicker could kick it through the uprights. I think the game would of been different if he makes those 3 FG’s (14-9). We wouldn’t have won, but the game would have been different. Good Luck against mobilehoma, I think you guys are gonna need it. Colt makes too many bad decisions.
October 7, 2008 at 9:46 am
You might be right, but keep in mind our coaches treated the 4th quarter like practice on the offensive side of the ball, and that last TD was setup by a pass being covered by a walkon.
I have a feeling if we’d needed to we could have kept scoring and kept keeping CU from scoring in the 4th.
October 7, 2008 at 9:49 am
Yeah, I don’t think the missed field goals impacted the game much at all. It would have meant that we kept our 1st team defense in all game and our offense wouldn’t have laid up with a whole quarter left to play.