Tag: clipper chronicles

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Clipper Cooper Assesses The World Cup And Africa

What's up, skanks? It's me, Clipper Cooper. Your natural master. How have you been? I'm actually not interested.

Clipper Cooper: The Truth About Soup Kitchens

What's up, skanks? Last time I thought about Longhorn football, we were getting a game stolen by a bunch of floppy-banged NASCAR enthusiasts waving pom-poms like faggots, from a state with a GDP...

Clipper Cooper: Pleased To Be 8-0

Skanks! I guess I should be grateful for our wins and our inevitable trip to the National Championship, but I truly believe the Cooper motto that, "Gratitude is the guilt of the unworthy." Many of...

Clipper Cooper: The Biggest Saturday of the Year!

Skaaaanks. The world has a handful of truly great cities - Riyadh, Monaco, Dallas - and this weekend highlights why Dallas is so often called the crown brooch in Lady Liberty's blouse. I can't...

Clipper Cooper: Nightmare Gameday Experience

I'll skip the pleasantries, skanks. I'm furious right now. I'm fuming. I haven't been this mad since Daddy gave money to OxFam! (Just piss away my inheritance, dude.) In his defense, he thought...

Clipper Cooper Talks Tech

What's up skanks? It's me Clipper Cooper. I dictated this over my iPhone (I have the Platinum 3G, the one Steve Jobs carries) to a Barking Carnival stooge because I just had a manicure and I...

Clipper Cooper Previews Wyoming

As you all know, Barking Carnival is in the process of seeking venture capital to improve the blog and to create the first international transgender foosball league. Pursuant to our agreement with...

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