If the FAU game was New Coke, the UTEP game was Coca-Cola Classic, only if everyone liked New Coke, and Classic tasted like hot safari ass crack.
We didn't even try. And if they don't try to entertain me, I don't feel the need to break a sweat over it. I tried to complain that Davis was under utilizing plays that would make everything else more effective, instead hoarding them for a handful of uses against good teams, and that UTEP's 335 made him look even worse, but it wasn't happening.
Ho hum. Nothing anybody didn't already know.
So it turned out only real complaint I had was one of entertainment value, because nothing more can really be said about Davis' inability to function against non-cookie cutter defenses or his lack of understanding of how his actions effect the defenses. Plus, we might turn it on against Arkansas and Missouri. Nothing that happened on UTEP disqualified that from happening. I legitimately have no idea what's going to happen. We went super vanilla against a nobody, correctly assumed that we'd win anyway, and we were all treated to a 4 hour long spring game.
So, hey, Big Board!
1. Colt McCoy
We tend to react to blitzes safely, rather than attacking them, so we kept backs into block, which meant there weren't dump off options which meant Colt had to scramble. He's our only QB anyone should feel comfortable with, and the only guy who can move the offense on his own, so his healthy should be our top priority. But we cannot just sit and and run the same 3 routes against the blitz. The less bold we are against it, the more teams are going to do it.
2. Roy Miller
Everything on defense starts here.
3. Rodderick Muckelroy
He's been the best playmaker on the defense for the last two seasons. The ball just seems to find him. DJ did more for the defense at large but Muck is right on his heels, and probably better as a pure up-the-gut run stopper.
4. Deon Beasley
Might break the top 3 once he's healthy.
5. Fozzy Whitaker
Too high for a guy who just saw his first ever action? You move the ball when a guy is in and don't when he's not, he's top 5.
6. Quan Cosby
He's boring but utterly essential. Tom Brady had Wes Welker, we need Quan. Irby will be a chain mover for us, but for now Quan is that guy.
7. Kyle Hix
Our best lineman and only guy on the roster who I trust at tackle right now.
8. Sergio Kindle
He's our best pass rusher and the only guy who can consistently make noise on passing downs. He's also a dynamic guy who makes plays everywhere. Let him make mistakes, he'll more than make up for it.
9. Chykie Brown
Because if he's not starting, Ryan Palmer is.
10. Blake Gideon
As the rest of the young secondary matures, Gideon will fall farther and farther down my list. But I see why Muschamp likes him. He's the only guy on defense that shows any intensity from play to play and he is the most ready to play out of all the freshman. He's not great but he's what we need. Let's just hope we can find something better with this version of Colt McCoy.
11. Michael Huey
Got beat up a bit by UTEP, but that's what happens when you tell people quicker than you where the ball is going. Still out best body mover on the team.
12. Brian Orakpo
Another offseason of puff pieces, another harsh reminder that the guy isn't as good as we think he is. Nobody makes that leap from junior to senior, so I am not sure why I was expecting him to. Still, if he understands his assets he can be effective. Use his quickness to gain leverage then use his strength from there. He did it a couple times against UTEP, but he needs to not play like a speed rusher because he's not one. Get a shoulder down and drive.
13. Lamarr Houston
UTEP ran through us a little too well early on, even if we were surrendering it. Houston may or may not have been an issue, but the evidence points that way.
14. Jordan Shipley
Underutilitzed, but he can do it. He's not higher because I don't know how much better he is than Brandon Collins or Malcolm Williams. I do know that I'd rather have him than them because he's experienced.
15. Sam Acho
Love this guy. Total steal.
16. Jared Norton
Norton hasn't been great yet, but he's good enough to where he makes the list just because he keeps Bobino off the field.
17 .Malcolm Williams
At some point this season we're going to remember to send that super-talented 4.5 guy down the field. You'll see.
18. Brandon Collins
The next great Greg Davis possession receiver.
19. Chris Hall
He makes the line calls and tries hard or something.
20. Ben Wells
Has done nothing to deserve this spot, but just you wait.
Vondrell McGee doesn't make it becuase we have like 5 decent or better RBs, rendering him inessential pending a better role on the team. Tray Allen makes it as a guard but not a tackle. I don't know where he's playing. Blaine Irby is like 3 more good quarters of football from me putting up a poster of him in my room. If I left anybody off, or you feel I made a mistake, please feel free to question my intelligence, sanity, and honesty in the comments.