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Recapping Sooner Hell Week

I know CTJ has a great thread going here, but I wanted to provide a recap of how the OU program has fallen so far so fast in a week's time. Plus I figured holding off on my Barking Bets would save some people some coin. That said...

Yep, Oklahoma is now officially circling the drain. Let's recap the week the Devil called in his chits.

-Their all world tight end Jermain Gresham is rumored to be out for the season before the season starts. Bob Stoops lies about it.

-Oklahoma's season is dashed by guys getting cardio from riding bikes in Chile and annoying suburbia in the lower 48. These peculiarly clad white shirted dudes do the deed by outgaining the vaunted sooners by 100 yards, despite turning the ball over 4 times. Sam Braford leaves the game with a sprained shoulder.

-At halftime of this game in Jerry's World, not one Sooner player steps up in the lockerroom to rally the troops. Instead, Paul Blart look-a-like Kevin Wilson tries to cheer up his charges by reminding them they're up 3 points on a team that refuses to recruit black people.

-A dozen or so of OU's top recruits proceed to watch the abortion unfold.

-Post game, their Heisman QB is rumored to be out for the season. Bob Stoops lies about it.

-Two days later Bob Stoops texts the Tulsa World News to counter their story that Gresham is out for the year. A mere 30 minutes after Stoops declares Gresham has but a flesh wound, the star TE has season ending surgery.

-News breaks that Kevin Wilson and James Patton have been thrown under the bus and privately dressed down by Stoops. Ostensibly for rolling out an unprepared TE at center, getting his star QB obliterated, and sucking in general on offense.

-Brodey Eldridge, that same tight end the offensive coordinator moved to center shortly after calling him the best blocker he's ever coached, a mere month after proclaiming the current left tackle Trent Williams was the best lineman he's ever coached, breaks his hand in practice days later. Of course all of this occuring after being moved back to TE for, umm, well, sucking at center and not being Tim Krumrie. Ironically Trent Williams, the original best blocker there ever was according to Wilson, is the coloring book challenged jackoff that allowed a proselytizing 4.9 forty linebacker to Jimmy Superfly Snuka said gecko eyed Heisman QB in the first place. How's that for full circle?

And now, there are whispers that original starting center Ben Habern is hurt again. With an injury that has kept him out of most practices and all games to date. Which begs the question in my rattling head, how is he hurt "again" if he's never been healed in the first place?

And one final tidbit, wideout Jameel Owens is transferring because coaches realized they overestimated his speed. Yeah. No shit, guys? He wasn't as fast as you claimed? I'm flummoxed.