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The 2009 Texas Fan OU Timeline

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1-1-09 The Sooners play for the national title in 7 days. I feel ill.

1-2-09 Just saw an ESPN Orange Bowl preview. No, I'm not crying. Don't be silly. You're probably crying. That's why you're accusing me of crying. Anyway, I have allergies.

1-3-09 Pulled down all of the rankings and in all of them, UT is clearly the superior academic school in all facets. Just FYI.

1-4-09 Furthermore, our state economy is not based on copper wiring theft, meth labs, and personal injury lawsuits.

1-4-09 We have a very robust GDP! Dozens of Fortune 500 companies, innovative technology, a prosperous citizenry, and we export considerable amounts of sorghum.

1-4-09 I feel better.

1-4-09 Fiesta ain't the Rose, but it will do. Phoenix is cool. (OU fan walks by with Horns down wearing a Boz jersey) YOU SIR - COME BACK HERE AND I WILL FISTFUCK YOU HARDER THAN YOUR UNCLE DID WHEN HE WAS YOUR SCOUTMASTER.

1-5-09 Quan! I'll miss that tough little guy. Oh well, at least we got the Fiesta win. We had a really good year.

1-6-09 Great year for our guys. What can you do? You have to be philosophical about it. In the big picture, college football mean nothing.

1-6-09 OU is going to win tomorrow. I RENOUNCE ALL BELIEF IN A JUST HIGHER POWER! THE HINDUS CONSISTENTLY GET IT RIGHT!

1-6-09 I'm absolutely confident that Florida will win. Tebow is money. Christ gives him powers, just like Colt.

1-7-09 Sooners lose! HA HA HA HA. Big Game Bob, you ass. They lost by 10 on a neutral field. Nice touch Lady Fate, you cruel masochistic bitch.

1-8-09 Could we have beaten Florida? Not sure.

1-9-09 It's silly to even ask yourself that.

1-10-09 Ha ha ha.

1-11-09 Yes.

1-12-09 Probably not.

1-15-09 Can't believe I'm still thinking about this.

1-24-09 Maybe.

2-4-09 Jamarkus McFarland, you shall feel the power of the Mack Brown curse. I invoke it NOW.

2-5-09 Now I will hibernate...

5-28-09 Justin Chaisson. Typical Sooner. SCREW 'EM.

6-6-09 Oh, look - an Athlon magazine! Should I buy that piece of shit? Yes.

7-09-09 Phil Steele thinks we roll OU. That dude is smart. He owns lots of TVs, uses acronyms, and he writes with exclamation points.

7-26-09 7 Sooners on the 1st Team All-Big 12 team. Uh oh.

7-27-09 On second thought, forget the media. Why do I care about the opinions of people that used to dangle off of locker hooks in high school?

8-12-09 This is the year Christian Scott makes his move. Impact playa.

8-18-09 Team looked awesome in open practice. We flat out roll OU.

8-19-09 Lethargic today. I can't believe we're going to blow this season.

8-25-09 Can't wait for October 17th. Both teams will be undefeated and the winner will supplant Florida at #1 after LSU upsets them in Baton Rouge. Mark it down.

8-27-09 Bradford, Gresham, Beal vs. McCoy, Shipley, Kindle. Let's do this. I think we win a tight one. 34-31. I know our offense will carry us, just hope the D can come along. Special teams will be bleh as usual.

8-28-09 Damn. Kevin Wilson and Stoops are really confident about their OL.

8-30-09 Made Texas-OU hotel reservations. $550 a night for a Hilton Garden Inn is a bargain, IMHO. The drive over from Lewisville will be a pleasure.

9-1-09 Is Gresham really out?

9-2-09 Gresham's out! Fuck those guys. We win by 20.

9-3-09 I do feel bad for the kid. Seriously. He's a good player. Wish him the best.

9-4-09 Fuck Gresham and his weak joint composition.

9-4-09 OU rolls BYU tomorrow in Dallas by 30 and shows off to all of the DFW recruits. Assholes.

9-5-09 Glorious. HA HA HA! OU just lost to a team of guys who walk around in half sleeve dress shirts, clip-on ties, and bicycle helmets. Bradford is hurt. We will beat OU by 40.

9-6-09 Bradford isn't hurt that bad apparently. He'll be back in two weeks. Still, that OL is putrid. We should win by 14.

9-7-09 Bradford will never throw a ball again. They're talking amputation. Read it on Orangebloods. Keep it on the down low.

9-8-09 OU will go 5-7 and Sooner fans will buy out Bob Stoops' contract with their fraudulent worker's compensation claims.

9-13-09 Big Idaho St win - whatever.

9-20-09 Beat Tulsa 45-0. Huh. Well, we'll still win.

10-3-09 Sooners up 10-0 on Miami. They're going to blow the Hurricanes out!

10-3-09 Miami wins. OU sucks. We will roll them.

10-7-09 No way that Bradford plays. And if he does, he'll throw the ball like George Will.

10-10-09 OK, Bradford looked pretty good, but we'll still win. I'll say 27-17.

10-10-09 Jesus, our running game sucks. I can't believe Colorado is giving us trouble.

10-10-09 ^%^^&&^#@#!@#$#$%^% Greg Davis. Same old shit from you.

10-11-09 I can't believe we're going to lose to OU.

10-12-09 Brian Simmons is out. No way Broyles plays. We'll beat them in a tight defensive contest. 17-14.

10-13-09 I think we were holding back on O. Don't you? I think so. I really do.

10-14-09 Muschamp is going to skullviolate the OU O. Kindle! Acho! Earl Thomas!

10-15-09 Can't sleep. Are we going to lose? I have a bad feeling.

10-16-09 We destroy them. If they cross midfield against our defense, it will be a Hoylian miracle. Texas - 34, OU - 3.

10-17-09 11:00am kickoffs are worse than spoken word poetry.

10-17-09 I just saw a Sooner wearing crimson overalls and a Larry the Cable guy camo hat. These people are rubes.

10-17-09 Hey, look they're deep frying lard and then sprinkling powdered sugar on it. Nom nom nom. I will top it off with Jim Beam.

10-17-09 We will destroy them, take their women, and sell them to Algerian slavers for trinkets.

10-17-09 I'm going to throw up.

10-17-09 No, I'm not. This is the greatest day of my life.

10-17-09 Threw up. Just a little.

10-17-09 Games about to start - half orange, half crimson, adrenaline coursing, deafening noise, hate rising from the crowd like heat on August pavement.

10-17-09 I can't believe they're kicking it off to Shipley...

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