clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

BREAKING NEWS: Emergency Meeting Transcript Leaked

New, 27 comments

What follows is a partial transcript of a meeting held late last night at Bellmont Hall. This document was provided to Barking Carnival by closely guarded inside sources, none of which are a naked bongo-drumming Matthew McConaughey. We promise.

MACK BROWN: Well DeLoss, my goodness. (sigh) It's been a tough week.

DELOSS DODDS: (nodding solemnly) Mmm hmm.

BROWN: First we let go of our longest-tenured staff, including my closest friend Greg, in hopes of keeping Muschamp satisfied. Then just a week later Muschamp bails on the program.

DODDS: Mmm hmm.

BROWN: I gotta be frank, DeLoss, my head's a-spinnin'. We've got to pick a whole new staff, bring them into the fold and get them out to recruits ASAP. I just...I don't know where to start. I'm not even sure what to do.

DODDS: Mmm hmm.