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Why Texas Won't Play AM

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Members of the Big 12 gathered around the conference table for the monthly board meeting. As everyone settled in, Aggy – late as usual – walked through the door, and refused to take a seat.

"I’m done with this bunch," he grimly stated. "I know we signed a new cooperative contract, but I don’t intend to put up the disrespect any longer."

He let a small smile creep over his face and said, "Not only am I leaving, but I’m heading cross town to join the SEC --they appreciate me for who I am. They are bigger, richer, and they will treat me like an equal partner!"

He whirled, pointed a finger at Texas and through clenched teeth, seethed, "It’s all you’re fault! You are a bully, a liar and a cheat. You have kept me down long enough! You are the reason I haven’t won Salesman of the Year since Hitler invaded Poland!"

OU leaned over to UT and whispered, "WTF?"

UT, responded, "quiet, he’s on a roll."

Aggy's voice raised a couple of octaves as he continued, "You do nothing but ridicule my family and their traditions. You have to be in complete control from the burnt orange towels in the bathroom to the sliding scale sales commissions!"

Aggy paused, and let out a laugh.

"You know what else? I’m coming back here with my friends, LSU, Alabama, Georgia and Florida and we are going to recruit some of your best clients away from all of you!!! It won’t be long until I have my rightful place as one of the best among the best, and I will revel in rubbing your face in it!

With a dramatic flourish, Aggy turned on his heels and strode for the door.

He stopped and looked back at Texas.

We’re still on for Thanksgiving dinner, right?"