Today's SB Nation College Football Cornucopiapalooza

Because we love you, we made these for you.

• The Alphabetical by Spencer Hall.

Tastefully nude. Mack Brown taking a knee against Ole Miss with 66 points on the board and another touchdown on the way sends a clear message: Texas has a mercy rule, and it stops at 66,a number Texas arrived at completely randomly, I'm sure.

• The Numerical by Bill Connelly.

Wait, Marquise Goodwin gained 182 yards in four touches? Damn. #BoxScorin

— Bill Connelly (@SBN_BillC) September 18, 2012

• This Week In Schadenfreude by Brian Cook.

BARNEY IS A FAWKING LOSER.

NEVER WON ANYTHING IN HIS JESUS FREAK LIFE AND NEVER WILL. sc

• BlogPoll by Andy Hutchins, ICYMI.

TEXAS!!!! FIGHT!!!!

• Hot Seat Watch by Bill Connelly.

Gene Chizik, Auburn

Chizik was a curious hire (to put it kindly) after going 5-19 in two seasons at Iowa State. If you take 2010 out of the equation, Chizik's Tigers have gone 17-12 in parts of three seasons and needed overtime to beat UL Monroe this past Saturday. Quarterback Kiehl Frazier has yet to develop very much, and quite simply, when you watch Auburn play, you don't see a team full of four- and five-star former recruits.

Of course, you can't take 2010 out of the equation. Chizik signed one of the SEC's greatest ever quarterbacks, Cam Newton, went 14-0 and won a national title. Both the roster and the coaching staff look almost completely different than they did in 2010, but that buys you a grace period, right? Even in the SEC?

• The BCS Eliminator:
  

• Simulated BCS Standings by Sam Chi:
  

We're # 12!

• Shutdown Fullback:

• Dan Rubenstein's Cheat Sheet: