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Tough Guy Beats up Tennis Player

Cooper Neill

Reports are emerging that Longhorn WR Cayleb Jones, a 6' 3" 200 pound football player, allegedly sucker punched a tennis player this past weekend a few weeks ago. Jones apparently became incensed when he witnessed UT tennis player Joey Swaysland talking with his ex-girlfriend, UT Volleyballer Khat Bell. Understandably enraged to see Bell verbally communicating with other human beings, Jones expressed his affection by totally kicking Swaysland's ass from behind. The unwitting melee participant suffered a broken jaw. That'll teach you to turn your back on a huge dude that you had no idea was just about to punch you in the face, Swaysland!

This incident once again proves the conventional wisdom in mixed martial arts that tennis is an inferior fighting style as compared to the tried-and-true technique of sneaking up behind an unsuspecting guy and whaling on him from behind. It also proves that the Longhorn football team is full of courageous men willing to stand up and cheapshot any poor bastard who unintentionally fuels their romantic insecurities, no matter how small and defenseless the offender may be. If only OU's defensive front seven would turn their backs on us this October -- then we'd show 'em what we're made of!