Breaking News: Oregon Football Is Dirty!!!!

In a preliminary report that could have been titled "No Fucking Shit & Other Things We All Know" the NCAA has spoken on Ducks football. And Oregon agrees, proposing a draconian self-imposed punishment of two years probation, three lost scholarships, and being sent to their room to play Xbox.

University of Oregon agreed Monday with an NCAA investigation that cited "major" violations committed by the football program, according to multiple reports.

Misunderstood street arbitrageur Will Lyles is at the center of the primary violations and they all occurred under the Chip Kelly regime. One thing Chip certainly learned running his spread option offense is the importance of timing. And his exit to Philly was impeccable. Pete Carroll nods in approval. Gene Chizik would like to know if the Saskatchewan Rough Riders have any availabilities.

However, there is good news for the Ducks: The saving grace for Oregon is that the NCAA did not cite the dreaded "lack of institutional control."

However, the documents also state NCAA enforcement staff said they had "no finding of lack of institutional control and no finding of unethical conduct," key points when it comes time for punishment to be considered, KATU reported. Oregon is expected to appear before the NCAA's committee on infractions sometime this year.

Expect a sternish hand slap with no lasting consequences. The takeaway - as with Auburn, USC, and so many others - is that paying players and street agents, even with NCAA penalties, is still a pretty good net program investment.