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Greg Robinson, Your New Longhorn Defensive Coordinator

First priority: learn the names of the players he'll be coaching tomorrow.

Gregory Shamus

Greg Robinson is flying in from semi-retirement in Los Angeles to start his new job as the defensive coordinator for the Texas Longhorns. The 61 year old Robinson left Austin (and a radically different Big 12 power structure) in 2004 after a solid year of competent defense and went on to disaster as head coach at Syracuse and a horribly failed stint at Michigan under Rich Rodriguez.  Robinson has a fetish for programs in trouble.

Coaching a defense at Texas for a few hundred thousand per in your your golden years is a pretty sweet consulting gig. And if he can hold Ole Miss to under 350 yards rushing and less than 550 yards of total offense, we'll probably carry him off of the field on our shoulders.

Robinson's first task?  Learn the names of the players he'll be coaching.  Or don't.  Nicknames like Pancake, Hates Football, and Instinctless may suffice.

Second task?  Figure out how to marry his traditional, vanilla, zone-based, bend-but-don't-break concepts built around solid tackling and players more coached up on the fundamentals of their position and free-thinking then where their arrow tells them to run on the white board.  In other words, the exact opposite of Diaz's orchestrated symphony of automatons.

This is going to be kind of hilarious in a I'm-laughing-but-also-want-to-throw-up-a-little sort of way.

Good luck, Greg.  I'm sure Mack will shoulder the blame squarely if you fail.