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Is now a good time to talk about staff bonuses?

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By Mack Brown.

USA TODAY Sports

Deloss? Knock-knock. Hey there. Sorry to bother you. I was just on my way to tape this week's "Game Plan with Mack Brown," and thought I'd pop in and see if you've given any thought to this year's staff bonuses.

Is now a good time to talk?

Look, I know you're busy. So I'm not going to waste your time beating around the bush. This isn't the best team we've ever put out there. Like I said in the press conference, the coaches aren't living up to our standard. And, when you think about what our standard has been in recent years, that's pretty damning.

Am I right? Haha. Yeah...

So, have you and Bill Powers put pencil to paper yet? Just curious. Because six figures for each of the assistants sounds about right to me.

What's that?  Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're totally right. That loss to BYU Saturday night was embarrassing. Inexcusable. No Texas team should play that soft. Ever. PERIOD. And that's on us as coaches and what-not.

Speaking of the coaches, I was thinking... it seems like we're due for some across-the-board raises this off-season in addition to the bonuses. The staff have been working hard, and we don't want to lose any of these guys to our competition.

Huh?  Oh, right. Except Manny Diaz. Yes, we did want to lose him. You're right.

About that... it seems like we ought to pay Manny some kind of reassignment bonus. You know, as a pick-me-up. Poor guy has to be feeling pretty blue right about now. I don’t want to tell you what to do or anything, but $75k seems fair.

Okay, okay. You keep coming back to that BYU game. And that's fair. Nobody on the staff is happy with the way we coached in Provo, least of all me. But we can't let a loss beat us twice. We have to find some positives that we can build on. And what could be a bigger positive than cashing a fat bonus check?

So, what are we talking, 400 grand for me? Half a mil? 750?

Am I getting warmer?

Yeah. Yeah, I totally agree.  You're right, Deloss.  BYU flat-out whipped us. There's no arguing with that. I take personal responsibility and, you know, all that crap. We've just got to get back to work, go back to the drawing board and figure out how to fix this thing, yadda, yadda.  You know the spiel.

Which reminds me: any chance we can get new drawing boards? The ones we have don't erase real well, and no matter how hard you scrub you can still kind of see your old writing there. It's faded, but it's still pretty distracting.

I mean, I'm not trying to blame the BYU loss entirely on crummy drawing boards, but you know...

Oh, okay. Sure. I get the point. What you’re saying is that the coaches aren't doing a good job, and they don't deserve a bonus. But what I'm saying is that the coaches aren't doing a good job, and you should give us money.

Can you see where I’m coming from here?

Look, it’s clear you want some time to think about this. Fair enough. Take a couple of days and think it over. But just FYI – Bo Davis’s pool builder wants to finalize the plans and he needs to decide whether to install three swim-up bars or just two. Sooooo... if you could kind of put this bonus thing on the old "expedite" list that would be great.

Alrighty. Thanks, Deloss. You have a good one.

Oh, one more thing before I forget: what’d we decide on budget for the team’s commemorative New Mexico State victory rings?