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Despite Losing Season, Texas Longhorns Going Bowling

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Texas head coach Charlie Strong discusses the Longhorns' postseason plans.
Texas head coach Charlie Strong discusses the Longhorns' postseason plans.
Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

AUSTIN, Texas -- At a press conference held Wednesday afternoon, University of Texas head football coach Charlie Strong announced that despite the team's disappointing 5-7 record, the Longhorns will be bowling this postseason after all.

"I know the team hasn't lived up to our high expectations this year," said Strong.  "But we're excited to announce that the Longhorns are going bowling this December."

According to Strong, the players and coaches are "really pumped" to appear at the prestigious Fun Times Bowl later this month.  Fun Times Bowl Committee Chairman Doug Rootie expressed similar excitement to host the Longhorns.

"Yeah, it's cool I guess," said Chairman Rootie.  "The Longhorns should give Fun Times a real revenue boost.  They reserved 16 lanes for two off-peak hours, and we expect they'll spend a lot of money at the snack bar and arcade. "

"Also, I'm just a shift manager," added Chairman Rootie.  "So please stop calling me 'Chairman Rootie.'"

Strong's announcement came as a surprise to fans of the program, as NCAA rules restrict bowl eligibility to teams winning six or more games.  With a record of 5-7, Texas would not have qualified for postseason play under the rules.  But a shortage of 6-win teams in the 2015 season forced the NCAA to relax its requirements.

"We understand that in a typical year, we would not have qualified for a bowl game," said coach Strong.  "So we feel very fortunate that the Fun Times Bowl Committee saw fit to invite us."

Chairman Rootie echoed those sentiments.

"We're open to the public," explained Rootie.  "So, I suppose everyone is technically 'invited' to the Fun Times Bowl during normal operating hours."

The Fun Times Bowl has hosted a number of exciting games through the years, including "several dudes who have rolled 300" according to Chairman Rootie.  But the Fun Times Bowl may be best known for its exclusive athletic apparel contract.

"Every paying bowler gets free shoe rental," noted Rootie.  "They just have to leave a drivers license or one of their own shoes with the front desk."

"And socks are absolutely required," added the chairman.  "The health department is pretty serious about that."

But Coach Strong emphasized that the team’s appearance in the prestigious Fun Times Bowl will pay dividends to the team beyond just footwear swag.  Strong expects it will also boost recruiting efforts and team morale.

"Playing in the postseason is really important to the program," said Strong.  "The worst thing that can happen is to find yourself sitting at home for the holidays, with nothing to do but watch as all your rivals go bowling."