New Longhorn coach Tom Herman debuts with 41 point explosion!

Welcome to a new era! The Tom Herman era. Tom Herman is so MENSA he has this team pissing Smartwater.

The mighty Longhorns put 41 points on the board, nearly causing the stadium scoreboard to run out of electricity! Thankfully, the Burnt Orange and White provided plenty on the field of play! Look out, Nikola Tesla!

The offense was out there running plays.

The defense played. I saw them.

Special teams were there, too!

Esteemed offensive coordinator Tim Beck, who has coordinated many rural high school offenses, featured an unexpected breakout star at TE and that confidence was rewarded with 4 big catches for a rumbling, rambling 18 yards. That’s 4.5 yards per catch. All-Time NFL leading rusher Emmitt Smith averaged 4.2 yards per something in his career. Is Garrett Gray better than Emmitt Smith? Early indications say yes!

Explosive sprinter QB Shane Buechele carried the ball 15 times for some yards. He also threw it 53 times. That’s 68 plays. Not even Vince Young touched the ball that much at Texas. Good game plan!

Wildcat specialists Jerrod Heard and Lil’Jordan Humphery both converted key 3rd downs late in the game averaging 12.5 yards per carry, leading Texas to a key touchdown. But didn’t play again. Because who likes a showoff?

Scrappy wide receiver Collin Johnson was not featured until the last TD drive of the game and it seems that he could be an asset. Look for the Longhorns to get the unknown 6-5, 225 pound nobody into future game plans.

Let’s not forget the defense. Maryland was held to only 8.3 yards per play. Last time I checked you need 10 yards for a first down. Better luck next time, crab cakes! Your state is named after a chick.

What about special teams? Touchdowns. So much excitement. Both team’s punters are from Australia. The cradle of punting.

Overall, what else can I say about this season opener but that it opened the season.

Texas is back!