Football Articles
Liveblogging the Mack Brown Press Conference
Posted by HenryJames on August 28th, 2007 under Football
Arrived a few minutes late. Brown just talked about some woman named ‘Edith.’ Bunker? Wharton? This season will truly be the ‘Age of Innocence.’
“We also want to thank all the people who have worked on the stadium so hard for a full year to get it ready for Saturday night.”
They’re still going to be deported.
“With all the rain this summer and with all the heat since that time, we talked to our players about them walking out onto the field and practicing so hard and then you think about those guys up there on top of the stadium with the heat banging down on the cement.”
Wave to Ramonce. Cautionary tale, kids.
“We did feel like (Equipment Manager) Chip Robertson came up with an idea this summer that we talked to the players about last night and they were 100 percent with it.”
Uh oh. This can’t be good. ‘It’s a jump to conclusions mat!’
“Because President Johnson has meant so much to our state, our country and our university, and Lady Bird is our First Lady who we just lost, and the Johnson family who has meant so much to all of us, we are going to put a wildflower in their honor on the back of our helmets for the full year.”
Reporters catching each other’s eyes. If Hugh Hefner dies, will they put a Playboy bunny on their helmets? That would be pretty cool. Some protester just called Brown a ‘baby killer’ before getting thrown out of the room.
“Because no one has done anymore for our country, our state, and loved Texas football - Coach Royal has talked to me about countless stories where he and President Johnson sat and talked about our team and our quarterbacks and all that it meant.”
If Mack is our LBJ, would that make Greg Davis Robert McNamara? Stoops is Ho Chi Minh obviously, and Venables would be Vo Nguyen Giap. The parallels are endless.
‘LBJ reacts to the news of 66-15.’
“Obviously the President was very involved with civil rights back in the ’60s.”
Thanks for the skill position talent, Bro.
Talking about Arkansas State now.
“They have won 11 of the last 12 games when they have rushed for more than 200 yards.”
Unfortunately for them they’ve only rushed for over 200 yards in 12 of their last 428 games.
“They play in a stadium like ours every year so they will not come in here intimidated. They know what it is like to be here.”
The silence will be deafening.
“They have one great safety, but they feel like all four of their secondary players will be drafted.”
In the army maybe.
Talking about the receivers now. Mack should set up his press conferences like the ‘Tonight Show.’ Have Bill Little sit on the couch next to him like Ed McMahon.
Talking about Jamaal Charles.
“Jamaal has been a little better out of the shotgun than he has out of the eye. Part of that probably is Vince [Young] if you look at it.”
Yeah, probably.
“It is hard to tell.”
If your name is Greg Davis.
“There really hasn’t been that much difference.”
Actually there has.
“I think it has been 6.5 yards per carry out of shotgun and 6.0 yards per carry out of the eye, and those are both pretty good.”
God damnit. How about 7.4 yards per carry with Vince and 5.3 yards per carry without him? Cleve Bryant notices me before I can scream out. He pulls up his shirt ever so slightly to show me the piece he has tucked in his waistband. This is not over.
Rambling on about stats. Must…stay…awake.
Back to Arkansas St.
“…what you expect out of them is play-action deep.”
They should schedule Iowa State.
Mack is wearing two rubber bracelets and a watch. Smart recruiting move. We now have an ‘in’ with the Kayan people of Myanmar.
Talking about the players.
“That little break gives them even more motivation to get started because they know when you are through with preseason and you put the little ‘x’ through it, especially seniors because they know it is their last college preseason ever, and now their work over a full year comes down to starting against a team they have no new film on.”
The only film they have on Arkansas State was filmed by Abraham Zapruder. It includes 10-15 seconds of footage of what looks to be a sasquatch.
“Then you go to the [typical] freshman, and he survived his first preseason. He starts school on Wednesday and will be in college for three days before he plays in his first game, if he plays.”
Two of our freshmen have already flunked out. How is that even possible?
“I ate dinner with Colt last night after the meeting and he just said, ‘I can’t wait.’”
Mack cut his food for him.
“That is thing we have sold to our team is, “Earn the Right ,” and start back over and make sure this is the first year of Texas football.”
We copied our running game from 1893.
Talking about injuries.
“I have learned that if a young man is injured, you plan on him not playing.”
The staff does not consider suckitis an injury.
“What you need to do is always stay positive.”
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Scipio Tex said:
August 28th, 2007 at 9:02 am
Freaking genius.
cronk said:
August 28th, 2007 at 9:21 am
Does that make Coach Fran Pol Pot?
Doperbo said:
August 28th, 2007 at 9:22 am
Dude. Cleve backed you down?
This calls the whole “I punched a guy in Columbus” story into question.
Scipio Tex said:
August 28th, 2007 at 9:26 am
It is Year Zero, Aggies! Go into the countryside! These cities hold nothing for you. Brother Number One shall lead us!
College Station does have a subtle Phnom Penh vibe.
Fish Camp is S-21.
Chooky said:
August 28th, 2007 at 11:14 am
Stellar. Your username doesn’t rhyme with anything, though.
Either way, greatness — you just Earned the Right.
Huckleberry said:
August 28th, 2007 at 11:24 am
It rhymes with f HenryJames.
BRAGGonUT said:
August 28th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
That was a stout effort.
SizzleChest said:
August 28th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
I’ve always doubted parts of the Columbus story. Not the part about the punch through the open car window, but the part about the little shit with the flashing lights in the heel of his shoes.
I mean, come on.
CrazyJoeDavola said:
August 28th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
“In the army maybe.”
Son, there ain’t no draft no more.
Scipio Tex said:
August 28th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
There was one?
Barfly said:
August 28th, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Wait a minute … am I to understand that the likes of Henry James was allowed into the actual press conference?
Lowery said:
August 29th, 2007 at 7:13 am
Maybe my wit meter is broken, but he was probably talking about/to Edith Royal. Now time to get some coffee and read it again.
2xHorn said:
August 29th, 2007 at 7:13 am
God damnit. How about 7.4 yards per carry with Vince and 5.3 yards per carry without him? Cleve Bryant notices me before I can scream out. He pulls up his shirt ever so slightly to show me the piece he has tucked in his waistband. This is not over.
Nice.
bartoncreek said:
August 29th, 2007 at 7:22 am
Very well done.
Vasherized said:
August 29th, 2007 at 7:24 am
Was Longhorn Bob running sound?
bartoncreek said:
August 29th, 2007 at 7:33 am
Little could sit there like Phil Hartman saying “Yes!”, slapping his knee and laughing his ass off at everything Mack says. Throw in an occasional “you da man” or “foshizzle” just to keep it real. Mack glaring him down after Little falls on the floor laughing when Mack is talking about Lady Bird’s death and the bluebonnet sticker.
turk 182 said:
August 29th, 2007 at 7:39 am
we need a brown/stoops debate.
perhaps lipton can be the moderator…until bob bruises his sternum with finger pointing/poking from across the room.
mack nervously smiles the whole press conference like an odessa beauty queen who has had cheap botox.
turk 182 said:
August 29th, 2007 at 7:43 am
the OU team will be wearing a guitar emblem on the back of their helmets to mourn the passing of Toby Keith.
damnit…we can hope can’t we.
Cali-Horn said:
August 30th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Sweetness. Sides are still hurting.
Jennifer Walcott said:
September 21st, 2007 at 6:48 pm
Jennifer Walcott
I Googled for something completely different, but found your page…and have to say thanks. nice read.
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September 21st, 2007 at 7:55 pm
Jennifer - Even though you are blog spam, I would like to offer you full partnership in our venture.
Macanudo said:
September 21st, 2007 at 9:19 pm
I would like to offer Jennifer my full member.
Uncle Teardrop said:
September 22nd, 2007 at 7:03 am
You stay classy, macanudo.