Excited about this presser. Seats are assigned for the media today. Cleve Bryant has offered to help me find mine. Maybe Cleve isn't so bad after all.
"I'd like you to meet Mohammed, Jugdish, Sidney and Clayton."
Fucker.
Brown is about to start. Great team performance. New stadium that is fabulous. Who gets the first praise?
"First, I'd like to say that our thoughts and prayers are with the people on the Mississippi, Louisiana and Texas coasts fighting the hurricane."
"I thought the guys played for 60 minutes with energy and toughness, and that's something that was really important to us."
...since last year's Holiday Bowl.
"The guys played hard, they played well and we were excited about it."
They did, and we all should be excited about it.
Talking about Schnellenberger's comments.
"It was funny, I asked the players yesterday about the comments from Coach Schnellenberger and what affected them the most, and they felt like the comments that came out of Florida Atlantic that bothered them the most, was that somebody said that better high school football was played in Florida than Texas. It wasn't about whether or not they were tough enough. So, they were defending the high school football programs in Texas, which is why high school football in this state is so important."
I guess that's ok as long as they realize we weren't playing Florida or Miami.
Now talking about player awards. Uh oh.
"The 'Ball Hawk Awards,' are something that Will also instituted here, and it goes to someone who changed the game with a forced fumble, an interception, a fourth-down play or something of that nature. Those went to Henry Melton, Sergio Kindle, Ben Wells, Ryan Palmer, Earl Thomas and Roy Miller."
Wait. You mean we're giving out awards that are earned on the field and actually mean something? I don't know who you are strange man, but what have you done with Mack Brown?
"We feel like there will be a lot of excitement this week being out in El Paso."
Mike Price + Andre Jones + Juarez = mucho excitacion!
Talking about UTEP's team.
"Mike has always done a great job of having a one-back system where they can run the zone plays, run draws and screens, but also throw the ball down field."
Last year the words draw and screen would have horrified me. Now it's like, 'Bring it.'
"Their defensive coordinator came from New Mexico, and he's very multiple."
As in his defenses give up yards and points in multiples.
Talking about the freshmen. This subject usually doesn't come up until after the OU game.
"You can play well when you are young."
Did I say that out loud? Oh shit. Brown said it. Out loud.
"Well, we upped the standard for sure, and we're going to say that we got that one out of the way and we're not going to talk about being freshmen anymore. We're going to go play and you guys have to go play and do your part and be accountable. Nobody cares how old you are. Now you've got something on film and you need to be proud of it, but let's make sure it's better this week."
I feel like Walter Brennan at the end of Red River.
'It's all right. For fourteen years, I've been scared, but it's gonna be all right.'
Talking about the late start for Saturday's game.
"We'll just have to make sure that they're ready to play at 9:15 and not 3:15."
3:15 pm not am, Lamarr.
Press conference coming to an end. Talking about the depth chart.
"One thing we learned last year is that we are just going to go day-to-day, and that's why the depth chart is hard for us. There were a lot of conversations last week with either's and or's. We didn't know how some guys were going to play. We just knew how they would practice."
Mack, Brother of Watson. Too long have you sat in the shadows.
"So, we thought we would keep that competition going. The guys know that whatever is released today, is about today, period. It's not about tomorrow, and we'll change them out on the field if we need to."
Breathe the free air again, our coach.
"Yes, Bill, you can still write your weekly columns."