I have a case of Oklahoma Suks beer from Independence Brewery in Austin. Every time the broadcast shows Mack Brown clapping, I'll drink a bottle. Every time it shows Bob Stoops yelling, I'll break one over my head.
I'll either be drunk or dead by halftime.
Kansas forces Josh Freeman into his usual 3 interceptions, and Kansas beats Kansas St 30-24. Kansas rolls up 436 total yards and 24 first downs despite 3 turnovers.
Bonnie Bernstein has horse hair. Sooner fans paw at her.
OU starts on offense. Sam Bradford looks like an Amerasian gopher.
Talking horse and cow introducing the lineups. PETA drops their protest.
Derry and Bobino ignore a tipped pass that should have been intercepted then congratulate each other.
Texas takes over. McCoy's right arm is taped like pipe in winter.
We begin with a false start out of the I. Too bad. We had play action called.
Now McCoy calls a timeout. This bodes well.
Brad Nessler feigns excitement as the Sooners return a ball ruled dead.
Davis finds the page of the playbook that has the screen pass on it. It picks up 7 but 10 was needed.
OU starting their second possession.
Nice shot of a carny taking some kid's money.
OU going two TEs. Pick up their 2nd first down on 3 straight runs.
Oh shit. Ryan Palmer bats away the pass on a single coverage deep ball to Malcolm Kelly. Little people can do stuff.
OU does it again but there's incidental contact. Akina is playing with the fire of a thousand suns.
Nice play by Bobino. He read that screen from the start. Little people.
Queen sells the rights to 'You're My Best Friend' to AT&T. Freddy Mercury took the easy way out.
Our second possession. Texas fans comfort themselves by saying 'It can't be worse than the first.'
OU DE Auston English is from Canadian. His sacks are worth 1.01 sacks in American football.
Chiles in at QB. Ryan Reynolds is not going to catch Jamaal Charles.
Next play we're back in the I.
Rocket pitch to our slowest back Ogbonnaya to the short side of the field. This makes sense to Greg Davis.
OU brings 5 on our six and gets the sack.
Okam and Lokey are so good. You'd think it would be easy playing linebacker behind them.
Bradford says that he listens to Kenny Chesney. Fag.
3rd and 14. OU converts.
And we get burned deep as Griffin gets over too late. OU taking shots deep over and over.
Nice work, Akina. Who knew they liked single coverage?!
First and goal OU.
Jared Norton obliterates the runner on 1st and goal. Why? Because Bobino is hurt.
Gresham is wide open for the touchdown.
OU 7 Duane Akina 0
Shot of Paul Maguire babbling incoherently.
We start at our own 40. With a false start. And Auston English hits Colt McCoy late with no flag. Our offensive linemen will send him a stern letter after the game.
End of the first quarter. Akina calls a blitz but is reminded that we are on offense.
ABC gave a sitcom to the fat kid from 'Stand by Me.'
Bob Griese just said the Texas offensive line is not that good. Bob does his homework.
McCoy has happy feet. Or PTSD.
Norton and Muckelroy make back to back tackles.
Finley running a seam to the 5. Where the f*ck has that route been all year?
Great play by McCoy and Shipley. As soon as the DB took a step up, Shipley goes toward the corner.
Our special teams are indeed 'special.'
Orakpo with the sack. Eddie Jones gets held on the next play but it isn't called.
We can stop the run with our front seven.
We start yet another possession with a penalty. Delay coming out of a timeout.
Another long seam pass to Finley even though OU had it covered. Sometimes you let your athletes make plays.
Yet another seam to Finley for a touchdown. We're going to win this game.
Colorado abused Ryan Reynolds with Hugh Charles. We just abused him with Finley.
OU resorts to chicanery.
Two straight penalties from the right DE spot.
1st and 10 OU from the 11. Texas calls timeout.
Mad Dog's gold chain is filled with chocoalate.
We make Scott Derry cover Gresham by walking him up right over him. Gresham pushes him out of the way and catches an easy touchdown.
Cosby stiff arms the kicker. It's always funny when kickers get abused.
Fucking ref trips Charles. Sooners planted him.
Holding on Hills.
English takes away the screen, and Granger sacks McCoy.
3rd and Plano.
That draw play was only 8 missed tackles away from going the distance.
Roy Miller got held. Watch it, refs. It will happen pretty much every play.
Tennessee is beating Georgia 28-0 at the half.
Sergio Kindle gets held by Gresham. No call. Fuck you, refs.
Kindle makes a tackle for no gain on 3rd and 2.
We have 5 first downs at the half, but Finley has 3 catches for 135 yards. McCoy's other 5 completions total 31 yards.
We can't abandon the run. Murray and Brown are running much better than Patrick. OU should continue to play them.
If OU is smart, they'll try to run at the perimeter. If we're smart, we won't have Killibrew and Derry in there when they do.
When Craig James gets his hair cut, he tells the barber to 'make me look like a dick.'
Doug Flutie bought his suit at the Boston College campus bookstore.
Bonnie Bernstein has arms like Linda Hamilton in Terminator II.
We don't start with a penalty. We do start with another pass to Finley. Underneath is opening up.
OU has 6 in the box, and we choose to pass. They do it again, and we run for 6.
Irby with a first down catch.
Eight man front we try to run, but OU jumps offside.
Greg, listen to me. If OU has less than seven in the box, run it. Seven or more, throw it.
God damn it. Six in the box, and Charles fumbles it while running into the endzone. There goes 7 points.
Isn't it against NCAA rules for Ben Alexander to appear in a Dr. Pepper commercial?
Watching the OU offensive line pick up Bobino on a blitz is like watching a parent pick up their child after the first day of school. Jump into his arms, Rashad!
3rd and 8. Good hit by Palmer.
We just committed 2 blocks in the back on that return. Nice.
McCoy is averaging 15 yards per attempt.
3rd and 1, and we're not even close. Inspiring series. OU has seven in the box on all three downs, and we gain 9 yards rushing.
'We play our starting linebackers because they won't get us beat.'
Our short yardage offense is bad.
Finally do a play action off it, and Ogbonnaya is finally pushed out of bounds on the 6. wildcat09 is smiling.
2nd and goal on the 1. End of quarter.
McGee untouched. Nice block by #83 whomever that is.
McGee than makes the tackle on the kickoff.
We're making it easy for Bradford. Quick reads.
Big 3rd and 5.
We blitz and forget to cover some guy named Kelly.
When in doubt, Akina will blitz.
When in doubt, Davis will pass.
Passing with 6 in the box.
Aaron Lewis is out with an elbow/forearm injury.
Sooners hold yet again.
Bradford's first incompletion of the 2nd half.
Texas gets it back with only 9 minutes left. Go 5 wide, Greg! We don't have time to run it!
Pass interference on OU. Stoops' head just exploded like that dude in 'Scanners.'
3rd and 11, and OU jumps. 3rd and 6.
We jump, and give the 5 back. We're a well coached offense.
McCoy has happy feet. Maybe by design. Only way to make a play is to go off schedule. After the game, Ricky Schroeder will cry over his lifeless body in the dressing room.
Norton with the tackle. Didn't even have to blitz him and shit.
We've lost 4 straight conference games and will drop out of the Top 25.
Killibrew finally gets his name called after Okam flushes Bradford out of the pocket. We'll get it back with a little over 2 minutes left.
Will we start this drive with a dead ball penalty?
McCoy no longer has a pocket presence. It's been knocked out of him.
4th and 10. Mack looks like someone just ran over his dog.
Texas fans look stunned. Why?
Does this mean we won't win the conference?