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Posted by HenryJames on October 13th, 2007 under Football
How exciting!
Current weather forecast for Ames says 53 degrees and raining.
Current football forecast for Iowa State says 85 players and sucking.
Corn fed chicks. Too bad you can’t make meth out of corn.
Random shot of some swans walking down a sidewalk. The Ames Board of Tourism wants you to believe it’s just like Paris.
Iowa State receives.
Bret Meyer was raised by white parents. You’ll understand when you watch him try to make plays off schedule.
Scott Derry might have a 3.8, but he failed geometry.
Dave Lapham just described Iowa State as a loose woman. They have to make Texas ‘respect them.’
Chizik is dressed like Robert Duvall in ‘The Great Santini.’ He’s going to throw the football at Todd Blythe and ask him if he’s going to ’squirt a few.’
Long pass to Shipley, and it’s 7-0. I think Chizik had 11 men in the box on that play. Can we just call broken plays?
Fox decides not to show the kickoff.
Killibrew runs himself out of the play. At least I think he did. I’m not a coach, and football is hard.
Bobino runs straight into the center’s arms screaming ‘block me!’
We send Derry and Bobino on a delayed blitz. Iowa State does not delay in completing the pass.
Our linebackers are bad. Chizik knows this better than anyone.
How the fuck is that interference with triple coverage? Oh, Erick Jackson is still looking for the ball.
Iowa State is coaching their running backs to take the cut back. Bobino just blitzes himself out of every other play.
Missed the field goal. Who is the fat guy standing behind Chizik? Does he have his own Mad Dog?
Do I dare take a peek at Iowa-Illinois or Georgia Tech-Miami? Those are my choices. Fuck you, Adam Smith.
Nebraska needs to fire Mackovic.
Dave Lapham has no inner monologue.
We’ve yet to run it.
Lots of empty set.
McCoy looks good. Still has happy feet though.
Empty set on 1st and goal. Secondary gets kind of crowded down there, Greg.
McCoy makes things happen when the play breaks down, and he throws well rolling out.
Two broken plays, two touchdowns.
Backup linebackers are in.
Jim Knox dresses like an NBC page.
We need to change our cleats.
Zone blitz on 3rd and 10.
Nice play by Foster on the fade. When you have a 6′5″ receiver, you run the fade.
Option to the short side of the field. Greg Davis has hacked into their communications!
Commercials from eHarmony and the AARP. That’s one helluva target audience.
Chiles in. QB draw goes nowhere.
Get the ball to McGee with his shoulders square.
That time out is on Chiles.
Ogbonnaya runs stiff. Needs to get his knees up.
Dave Lapham is still explaining a penalty that happened two plays ago. Must be for the loveless senior citizens watching.
Killibrew with the personal foul. Senior leadership. If a customer says they don’t like your cooking, you spit in their food. You dont’ grab them by the facemask.
Remember when McWilliams substituted the entire 2nd team offensive line against Colorado in 1990?
Jim Knox just called Muckelroy everything but his own name. I think he finally called him ‘McElmore.’
Iowa State cheerleaders just did a dance move I haven’t seen since ‘House Party.’ Maybe it was just released on DVD in Ames.
Three nice runs by Charles. And by ‘nice’ I mean he didn’t fumble.
Killibrew makes a tackle and talks shit. ‘Cordon Bleu goes the dynamite!’
Derek Lokey is a great defensive tackle. That being said, watching him run in space makes Baby Jesus cry.
Killibrew gets his second personal foul. Both of them on special teams. We take over and thus spare Brown the indignity of having to take him off the field.
Billy Pittman is playing like a man (who had his car) repossessed.
Is Strother Martin the play by play announcer at Iowa St?
Jim Knox is interviewing Mack Brown. I could literally watch that for hours.
Nebraska is down 38-0 at the half to Oklahoma State. This is the worst Nebraska defense I’ve seen since The People vs. Lawrence Phillips.
Evander Holyfield is either doing commercials for Sylvan Learning Center or fighting again. Hard to tell after watching that promo.
Chizik is confused. How do you stop the run against a team that doesn’t run the ball?
Iowa State corners play 7 yards off on 3rd and 4. Which came first? The Chizik or the Akina?
Another broken play, another touchdown.
Nice tackle by Kindle.
Foster with the int for a touchdown. Getting the all important turnover when we were clinging to a 35-3 lead.
Norton just made a tackle on the sideline on a toss sweep. At least I think he did. It will require film breakdown by the coaches to make sure.
Meyer is throwing everything high. Not stepping into this throws.
Nice shot of Iowa St cheerleader who looks like Paul Bettany.
No commercial break in between possessions. The advertisers have stopped caring.
Scott Derry looks like a white Harvey Williams in pads.
I hope those guys weren’t advertising majors.
Kindle tackles with authority. Next play Deon Beasley makes a diving interception. Our future is bright on defense.
Wow. McCoy scrambles for a 44 yard touchdown. Broken play, touchdown.
Mercifully put Chiles in.
This is going to be a long 4th quarter.
This wet field is slowing down Chiles’ cuts.
Enough of this. I’m going to switch over to Tech and A&M.
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kujotx said:
October 13th, 2007 at 8:44 am
What happened to the retro-unis? One time deal?
Scipio Tex said:
October 13th, 2007 at 8:48 am
Just showed Iowa State’s cutest cheerleader. It was like showing Stalin’s best personality trait.
Scipio Tex said:
October 13th, 2007 at 8:49 am
Gene Chizik lives!!!!!!!
That was hilarious.
LonghornJ said:
October 13th, 2007 at 8:50 am
Paint bitches.
SizzleChest said:
October 13th, 2007 at 8:51 am
I laughed.
kujotx said:
October 13th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Iowa State’s coverage breaks down the moment they break the huddle.
kchorn04 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 8:55 am
It looks like Chizik does remember that Killibrew isn’t good.
LonghornJ said:
October 13th, 2007 at 8:57 am
Iowa State coaches wear gay sweater vests.
LonghornJ said:
October 13th, 2007 at 8:59 am
Face rape.
Scipio Tex said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:02 am
Akina is a farce. We’re run blitzing our LBs on every play.
kchorn04 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:04 am
I am guessing that on Mack’s stat sheet for this game, Killebrew has 137 tackles and Erick Jackson has 8 passes defended with a plethora of smiley faces.
SizzleChest said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:04 am
Either Chiz’s head is small or that headset is really big.
kujotx said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:04 am
Dude, you didn’t have to hold. Derry’s angle took himself out of the play himself.
kchorn04 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:06 am
Why does the Big XII commercial highlight 12 BCS appearances? Are we celebrating automatic inclusion in a monopoly?
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:08 am
face rape belongs up there with fuck lion…
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:09 am
we only score on busted plays…
kujotx said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:10 am
Their fans can’t even do a convincing limp-wristed Hook ‘em. You just want to tickle the cute little bastards before you shove them out of a moving pickup….
NavyHorn16 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:11 am
“Who is the fat guy standing behind Chizik? Does he have his own Mad Dog?”
Ken Sheppard. He took him from MadDog’s staff. Addition by subtraction for our staff.
kujotx said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:12 am
Ouch. Nebraska’s Big XII Tour Of Shame 2007 continues. 10 - 0 Oklahoma State
kujotx said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:13 am
Dang. We’re missing our “Todd Blythe”, Limas Sweed.
SizzleChest said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:13 am
Mack and Greg are punishing Jamaal by passing every down.
HoustonHorn said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:14 am
Ogbaya and ogneeya. Awesome. I can’t wait for the next attempt.
Scipio Tex said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:15 am
It has been all Ogbonnoya & McGee so far.
Our coaches are getting tough!!!!!!!!!
kchorn04 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:15 am
Lapham had the worst pronunciation of Ogbonnaya’s name ever.
kujotx said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:15 am
The Derron Montgomery of Texas, Nate Jones, makes a great catch.
jimmyjazz said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:15 am
I think Duane Akina sucks considerably more than Greg Davis. He’s in a dead heat with Bull Reese, both of whom made Chizik almost look good. Greg Robinson actually was good. I think.
Scipio Tex said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:16 am
Does Cosby have the best hands in Texas history?
jimmyjazz said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:16 am
Did they really call Scott Derry “Auston English”? I think that’s grounds for a lawsuit on English’s part.
SizzleChest said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:16 am
Quan Cosby=Dwight Clark
Except for the short and black thing.
kevwun said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:17 am
We need to find a way to convince Mack that our starting linebackers have a fumbling problem.
kujotx said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:17 am
Did Fox lose Colt’s pic, who are they showing in his stat banner?
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:17 am
another broken play TD…keep’em comin’ greg!
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:18 am
colt got better looking since all the concussions
SizzleChest said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:20 am
mileslong wants to fuck Colt.
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:20 am
the lure of the fuck colt is strong…
Scipio Tex said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:21 am
Close your eyes.
Imagine a short, scrappy possession wide receiver with hands made of glue…
Imagine that he is full of spirit and intangibles…
Imagine that he is gutty and reliable and always a competitor despite not having great talent…
Now…imagine THAT HE IS BLACK.
Blew your mind didn’t it?
That just happened.
kevwun said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:24 am
Get Kindle out of the game. You’re not supposed to hit that hard. Someone could get hurt.
LonghornJ said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:27 am
Face rape. x2
SizzleChest said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:28 am
Little people.
Scipio Tex said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:29 am
Our defense is getting used by the worst offense in the Big 12. Scales averaging 6+ per pop.
Comfort hires are a bitch.
Scipio Tex said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:31 am
According to the Dave Lapham, Todd Blythe has good “high point ability.”
The rest of the world calls this…jumping.
SizzleChest said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:32 am
Comfort hire, yes, but really it was just Duane’s turn to start. You know, seniority.
Facebook User said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:34 am
Iowa State has 37 first downs in the first 17 minutes.
srr50 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:37 am
That’s our entire second team offense.
kchorn04 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:40 am
O-bunny-A with the 1st down.
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:40 am
oh bunny yay with the option pitch
Scipio Tex said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:42 am
Dave Lapham is extremely bright. He just learned that a team can decline a penalty.
Scipio Tex said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:43 am
Nice wasted possession. How cute.
Playing Chiles with our starters would spoil him.
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:43 am
brilliant move by davis giving chiles the second team offense…
Scipio Tex said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:44 am
Killebrewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!
God, I’ve never wanted a player to graduate more.
NavyHorn16 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:44 am
Killabrew has a personal foul. Can you believe it.
Why can’t the refs do us a favor and eject him from the game?
kchorn04 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:45 am
Huskers down 24-0 to OSU.
Somewhere Frank Solich is drinking.
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:45 am
killabrew with the finger rape…
kchorn04 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:47 am
Mack is probably in the process of petitioning the NCAA for Killebrew’s 5th year.
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:50 am
scott dairy with the gansta strut…
kchorn04 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:51 am
Mack needs to play Ishie Oduegwu. He needs to do it now. Lapham and Knox may just put a gun to their heads if he does.
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 9:54 am
jamarcus charles in the game
LonghornJ said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:01 am
Personal foul… face rape.
BSG said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:02 am
The “Face Rape” comment from the first quarter is already on youtube.
Here.
Scipio Tex said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:02 am
Killebrew, another personal foul.
Why is he on scholarship?
kchorn04 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:03 am
Jim Knox takes awkward to another level.
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:04 am
i wish we would run the fucking broken play again…
kchorn04 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:05 am
Mack Brown picture reminds us that Assistant Coaches were once required to wear helmets.
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:11 am
mccaffrey with the score! on a real play as well, doesnt get any better than that…
Scipio Tex said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Good call from Davis throwing against a Chizik D on every down.
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:18 am
clap clap, a few cliches to botox knox and off to the lockeroom for half time, killa brew gets a penalty on the way and the iowa state cheerleaders start grazing the field…
LonghornJ said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:35 am
MOAR FACE RAPE
alma said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:38 am
has anyone ever considered not having a morbidly obese man as the conditioning coach?
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:43 am
another great broken play from davis as he sits smiling, writing down that TD down in his stat book that he gives to mack to read when goes to the toilet…
NavyHorn16 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:46 am
How hard is it to pronounce “Jones”
longhornmatt said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:47 am
that’s the blueprint of the greg davis offense. set it up so your players only have to break 3 tackles to make a big play.
kchorn04 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:51 am
I think Bret Meyer is Iowan for Robert Killibrew.
Facebook User said:
October 13th, 2007 at 10:56 am
I smell a conference victory, baby.
Facebook User said:
October 13th, 2007 at 11:03 am
Put Chiles in the game you dumb shits.
MIA said:
October 13th, 2007 at 11:12 am
our first conference victory since… fuck, who cares.
BRAGGonUT said:
October 13th, 2007 at 11:13 am
We are punishing Finley for that Oklahoma performance. Has he even gotten a target?
NavyHorn16 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 11:13 am
Just how Greg drew it up.
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 11:15 am
and another GD busted play TD. he smiles and scribbles down another TD called by him with his cheeto stained stubby fingers…
kchorn04 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 11:16 am
After Colt ran it in for 49-3, I was hoping we’d hear Lapham talk about the great relationship and weekly conversations between Brown and Chizik.
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 11:16 am
jermichaelus mcfinley will be punished for weeks for showing up against OU
old ut fan said:
October 13th, 2007 at 11:17 am
scipio, where’s your OU-UT analysis?
jimmyjazz said:
October 13th, 2007 at 11:25 am
God, these announcers take “suck” to another level.
old ut fan said:
October 13th, 2007 at 11:25 am
hey everyone, “Benji The Hunted” is on ch 21 WGN!
mileslong said:
October 13th, 2007 at 11:42 am
i have never watched this much EMU football before waiting on the tech game to come on…
jimmyjazz said:
October 13th, 2007 at 11:45 am
Is someone liveblogging the Tech game? I’m not sure anyone can type that quickly.
srr50 said:
October 13th, 2007 at 11:56 am
so we take our starting fullback, put him in the spread, hand him the ball to run out the clock, and get him hurt.
smart, real smart.
pf Greg Davis
jimmyjazz said:
October 13th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Fumble, ISU. Recovery, Texas.
We are going to win the BCS title. Mark it down.
jimmyjazz said:
October 13th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Mack gives Gene his patented “sorry we beat you 56-3″ neck hug and we’re done.
LonghornJ said:
October 13th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Remember the face rape. That turned the tide.
MIA said:
October 13th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
aggy is marching all over tech
SlickStreet said:
October 14th, 2007 at 11:28 am
Funny, sharp stuff, HJ. I can always appreciate the kind of quick-witted sarcasm you’re bringing. Maybe it’s because I think the same way sometimes but am a bit more gun-shy to say it. Hook ‘em
srr50 said:
October 14th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Our starting fullback (Antwan Cobb) tore his ACL while helping us “nurse” a 50-point lead. He is out for the rest of the season.
Why does Greg Davis hate Fullbacks freedom?
earmuffs said:
October 14th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
Holy shit I can’t believe someone else not only noticed but remembers McWilliams substituting the entire 2nd team line in the ‘90 Colorado game. Possibly one of the dumbest coaching moves ever made by someone not named Les.
retrobater said:
October 14th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
we can afford to keep GD if he is Mack’s buddy, but lets bring
in someone with a brain to fill the role of “special assistant to
the offensive coordinator”. I suspect Mack got involved after
the KState game.
Hank James Junior said:
October 14th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
my pee pee hurts when I watch Greg Davis
hornian said:
October 14th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
I know I’m late, but KC, in regards to this:
“Why does the Big XII commercial highlight 12 BCS appearances? Are we celebrating automatic inclusion in a monopoly?”
The BCS isn’t 12 years old. It started with the ‘98 season, so there have only been 9 years of BCS bowls to date… meaning the Big XII has put 2 teams in BCS Bowls several times. It’s actually not that impressive, the Big 10 has put 15 teams in BCS bowls, and the SEC has put 13.
Grange95 said:
October 15th, 2007 at 8:58 am
“Nebraska is down 38-0 at the half to Oklahoma State. This is the worst Nebraska defense I’ve seen since The People vs. Lawrence Phillips.”
As a lifelong Husker fan, this season is even more embarassing than the midget’s first year as head coach. Our only hope is to fire the AD and the entire coaching staff, and try to apologize to Bo Pellini (by way of a fat contract and the head of Stevie P) so he can reintroduce the advanced concept of “tackling” to the D.
StoopsGetsPissed said:
October 15th, 2007 at 11:17 am
“Dave Lapham has no inner monologue.”
NO SHIT!!!!!! i HATE fsn guys. Are there really no other people that can do the games then what they’ve got? Honestly the man doesn’t stf up. It drives me apeshit when he and that guy with the robot voice does the games
SeeingRed said:
October 15th, 2007 at 11:56 am
The 1st axe has fallen in Lincoln. Steve Pederson’s shitcanning will bee announced at 4, just in time to somewhat restore Husker appetites for Monday dinner after all the Saturday afternoon power vomiting. Bring me a bucket my ass, I needed a full trough.
MIA said:
October 15th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
I am jonesin for updates. my bc jones must be met. Hornfans is running like poo.
Vasherized said:
October 15th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
A lot of the Barkers are currently interviewing in Lincoln right now, please be patient.
MIA said:
October 15th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
scally to Nebraska for AD!
Macanudo said:
October 15th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
How about Pongetti for OC?
utstudboy said:
October 16th, 2007 at 7:49 am
mileslong for aggie headcoach
Henry James for Nebraska AD after all he is a corn……