Mike Stoops! What are you doing here?
Brent!!! Ummm, nuffim.
Nuffim, eh? Why are you sitting at my desk? Watching A&M film. Eating my Red Vines
I love football!
???
!!!
...
Venables?
Bob!
Mike?
Shouldn't Mike be in Tucson? I want answers!
I thought you were recruiting heh heh.
I came back to grab a snuff film and some cocaine for the dropoff in Ponca City. And to feed Bing Bong, the tethered Laotian prostitute that we keep in the weight room crawlspace. We're an outlaw program you know. These are the sorts of things we routinely do
Sooooocongrats! We wish you all of the success in the world! Mike, please see to the care of Bing Bong
HUZZA! Please accept this commemorative balloon animal
What?
Kansas State, Brent. Prince is out
So?
The job is yours. YEA, BRENT VENABLES! YEA
FORGET RON PRINCE, BRENT VENABLES IS A PRINCE AMONG MEN
Coach, I'm not interested - it's a terrible job
Hmmm
So, I had some ideas for the Aggie game that we might come out dime package but with...
Brent, we're going to miss you, buddy. Hurrah for Brent!
Hoo-ray! Hoo-ray!
both extra defensive backs up on the line of scrimmage to discourage the run game. Then we'd...
Our game in 2009 will be a war!
Your name shall be written in stone, sir!
play some alignment games with their young OL and see if we can't...
We'll have a hell of a party to say goodbye. Streamers. Cake! Chinese paper lanterns...
Where do you keep your recruiting roladex, Venmeister?
Stop it. Just stop it. I'm holding out for a better gig. Like you did, Bob
Huh?
Say what?
Auburn, Michigan, Tennessee...
HAHAHA
HARR HARR HARR
maybe Clemson...
HAHAHAHA
GUFFAW GUFFAW
You're both soooo mean when you're together
What about the Dallas Cowboys job, Venables?
Do you think I have a shot?
HAHAHA
HOO HOO I SAY, HOO HOO
Why don't you apply for UN Secretary General?
Where are the pictures of my kids? My Princess Diana ceramics? My signed Bill Snyder "Winning The Moray Eel Way" biography...
We boxed it all up. It's waiting for you in Manhattan
Noooooooooo! Look, I did talk to my agent about the KSU job. They're not interested in me, even though I'm a KSU graduate ***degree not credited in all states - consult your diploma for details***
Sure they are! They just don't know you. Get down there and interview right now. Here's a bus ticket, a sandwich, and a thermos full of Tang
Made the sandwich myself. The aioli will be pleasing to you
Mike, staple the ticket to the outside of his jacket so he can't lose it
A bus? I have a car
Well, technically, that's the athletic department's car. Josh Jarboe took the monster truck and now without Truckasaurus, we need your IROC
Coach, what is this? Are you firing me?
Firing! Ha ha. Firing. Ha ha. Oh, Brent. Ha ha. No. I'm promoting you. Promoting you to a job over which I have no hiring authority. Now, scoot. Time to embrace a glorious new life
So, that's it then. It's you and Mike. Just like it always was. You never let me be DC by myself. There always had to be someone else. Standing between us.
Venables, I am not saying that you are gay however your actions and atttitudes are quite gay-ish
...
...
You were always thinking about Mike, weren't you?
maybe
WEREN'T YOU?
oh, I dunno
When we were breaking down film together?
yes
When we'd do Mack Brown imitations together during Big 12 conference calls?
Yes
When we'd huddle around Adrian Peterson and inject him with horse tranqs?
YES!
When...when...when. (sobbing) when I won you the bear at the milk bottle toss at the State Fair right after we blew out Texas in '03?
YES. Is that what you want to hear? YES. To all of it. It was always Mike. Always
We dressed (sob) that (sob) little bear in a Dusty Dvoracek jersey (sob) and it had a little toothpick bat (sob)
I'm going to wear your headset
Hussy!
As much as he likes
You're a cold man, Bob Stoops. Damn you and your intensely appealing badassed macho swagger of certainty. I HateLove you
YEA! LET'S LIGHT THESE SPARKLERS
ONWARDS AND UPWARDS!