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Eviscerating Peter King: NFL Insider!

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The King has no clothes. And with Peter, that's a terrifying thought.

The great NFL blog Kissing Suzy Kolber takes a razor sharp katana to the self-important bowel of Peter King - NFL INSIDER!!!!

After opening up his gut like Han Solo working over a TonTon, the entrails read plainly: mediocre thinker, solid roladex, penchant for name dropping, easily malleable to various GM and player's agendas, consistently bad sports opinion. Did I mention the uninspired writing?

Jejune, thy name is King.

What most pleases me about Peter King is that when he offers opinions that are not his own, which are all of his opinions of note, incidentally - he does so with an authority that suggests that not only did he think of them, but he instructed the GM, coach, or player informant on the matter to begin with. His declarations are always put forth with a world-weariness that suggests that this is the opinion of all right-thinking football men and that, he Peter King, sits at the head of that august body; shrewdly evaluating which musings will be advanced that week according to intricate by-laws and what would most please Brett Favre.

The brief illusion offered the audience is that this is a guy who really knows his stuff. I used to believe that, in fact. In reality, he's simply reciting pre-packaged NFL gossip. He's reading from the pages of gridiron Us Weekly. The minute his script runs out and he engages in spontaneous banter or opinion without the crutch of something Scott Pioli manipulated him into saying via text message 30 minutes previous, it gets very painful very quickly. He goes full retard. But his level of self-importance and confidence never wavers.

I have heard this on radio. I have seen it on television. I have read it in his columns.

It is hilarious.

If I wrote a parody of one of his columns and spliced it with the real thing, I daresay none of you could identify the impostor Peter with anything better than 60% accuracy.

Props to you Peter King. You give me hope for my own bad opinions. May they one day be elevated on high.


All Hail The King