The basketball is a key element in the game of...basketball
My current favorite cliche in announcing is ____ the basketball.
Please look for this in the NCAA Tournament, particularly in any game announced by Clark "The Big 10 defines all existence" Kellogg or Dick "I'm now a caricature of a caricaturized caricature caricaturizing caricature-itude" Vitale.
Sadly, I'm guilty of this too.
What do I mean?
As in:
They can really guard...the basketball.
DeJaun Blair can really score...the basketball.
That point guard doesn't ever turn over...the basketball.
Boy, can he rebound...the basketball.
Stephon Curry can flat out shoot...the basketball.
Ty Lawson is a dribbling wizard...with the basketball.
El Gato no gustan los perros flacos...con el basquetbol. Que lastima! Voy a la la playa!
No amount of fiber in his diet can help AJ Abrams to pass...the basketball.
Isn't it understood that no one is going to try to play the game with a shuttlecock?
It's crucial that the viewer be reminded that the key object for all of these verbs and adjectives is always...the basketball. What kind of idiot would simply say, Dexter Pittman can really rebound?
Rebound what? - the confused viewer is left pondering as he watches ten men playing the sport of basketball on a court in front of a crowd of 12,000 screaming fans surrounded by referees and coaches. What is the context? Is he rebounding off of a bad relationship? Did he fall from a great height?
Oh, a basketball!
Man, Sharron Collins can really shoot.
Huh? What?
Heroin? ...from the hip? ...off a text message? Skeet? Any sucker who creep up on him?
Oh, a basketball! Why didn't you say so!
Ty Lawson is a dribbling wizard!
Well, perhaps he has a salivary glandular condition you insensitive son of a bitch. And you're also implying he dabbles in the occult?
Oh, dribbling a basketball. Ha ha ha! I thought...oh, never mind. Sorry for overreacting. Ha ha! What a funny misunderstanding - like an episode of Three's Company!
Another mix up!
Everyone enjoy the games...of basketball.