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Cushing, Matthews Jr: These Aren't The Roids You're Looking For

Cushing's father is unavailable for comment and also incapable of wiping his own ass without toilet paper stapled to a stick

I am deeply shocked that Brian Cushing and Clay Matthews Jr allegedly tested positive for steroids. So are the guys at Steroid Nation who pointed out Cushing's (alleged!) prominent gynecomastia some time ago.

Of course, I also wrote this two months ago:

USC has four linebackers that will go in the first two rounds of the draft and we get a quality LB every five years. Maybe there’s something to having a real LB coach who knows how to teach and evaluate the position. Also, HGH is fuckin’ awesome

Brian Cushing raises some Bobby Carpenter questions. You know he’s using and if he stops you’ve drafted a bust. If he’s smart enough to alter his chemistry with undetectables, then you’ve got a super-physical and multifaceted LB who will give you ten years - and an occasional murdered prostitute..

Cushing's mother is also outraged at these unfounded accusations

I'd like to read Pete Caroll's Twitter on this. I anticipate only nine exclamation points at the end of each of his 13 year old girly stylings - to demonstrate solemnity and regret.

So far, the Trojan blogging community is like a syringe filled with silence.

C'mon guys. You knew. We knew. Have fun with it. (Allegedly)