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What the f*ck are roster craws?

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement., in conjunction with too many to mention, released Texas' fall football roster the other day. What day exactly? I don't know. The internet cannot be bothered with such things.

The roster is of interest for two reasons. Position changes and height/weight of players. Some of you might like finding out player nicknames so that you can work them into conversations. "Oh, you're talking about 'Big Cat' Alexander?" I hate you in advance.


Texas has finally dispensed with the notion that Colt McCoy is 6'3". He's listed 6'2" 210 and will measure 6'1" and change at the combine. Not that it has ever effected his performance. They'll still say he runs a 4.5 though, and CloseToJumping will still tell me that he dominated Cephus Scott in high school.

Garrett Gilbert is listed at 6'4" 207 so he's got NFL size to go with his ability.

Running back

Not a lot going here. Do we really care if Fozzy Whitaker is 3 pounds heavier than he was in the spring?

Chris Whaley is listed at 6'3" 235, and this is good news. If accurate. He was pushing 245-250 in the spring. His playing time is still directly proportional to his ability to keep McCoy upright.

Ryan Roberson is listed as both a running back and linebacker, and I assume a decision will be made in August where he will end up.

Wide receiver

Freshman Greg Timmons is listed at 6'3" 196.

Not much else going on although DJ Monroe and Desean Hales will continue to dress up as Kriss Kross on Halloween.

"We're open."

Tight end

What in the name of John Mackovic is going on here? We have ten scholarship players at the position, but only two of them have even caught a pass in college.

I'm fairly certain that Ian Harris, Ahmard Howard and Josh Marshall are all the same guy. Six-four-two-fitty and never played a down. I will from here on out switch their names to entertain myself. Ian Howard, Ahmard Marshall and Josh Howard. No one will know the difference.

Both Dravannti Johnson and Dominique Jones are listed as DE/TE. Johnson, to my knowledge, has never played the position. Jones has and is a fantastic blocker.

The good news is that DJ Grant is now 220, and Barrett Mathews reported at 6'2" 215.

Freshman Jonah MetzenbaumTrey Graham is listed as 6'5" 235.

Offensive line

Adam Ulatoski has shrunk to 6'6" while Kyle Hix is now listed as 6'7 1/2". Ulatoski is taller than Hix so I'm not sure why he was, uh, downgraded.

Freshmen Paden Kelly (6'7" 270) and Garrett Porter (6'6" 305) got their initial measurements.

David Snow put on 20 pounds and is listed at 300. Good news. I think he is Texas' next great center and sooner rather than later.

Redshirt freshman Mark Buchanan is now up to 310 while classmate Luke Poehlmann is only 265. We'll check back with you next year, Luke.

Defensive line

The first thing that jumped out to me is that Lamarr Houston is up to 300 pounds. Hope it's good weight.

"There is not good or bad. Only weight."

Kheeston Randall has put on necessary weight and is up to 288.

We have the initial measurements for freshmen Derek Johnson (6'3" 310), Calvin Howell (6'4" 280) and Tevin Mims (6'4" 245). Howell and Johnson will probably have to provide depth so I hope they don't throw up in the tunnel before the OU game! Johnson has lived in both West Memphis and El Paso so that dude can't be scared of shit.

And Sergio Kindle is listed as a 6'4" 255 DE/LB, up sixteen pounds from last year.


Not a whole lot to report here. Tariq Allen is already 245 so I'm interested to see what Muschamp has planned for him.

Emmanuel Acho, Jared Norton, Roddrick Muckelroy and Keenan Robinson are all between 232-237.

Freshman Patrick Nkwopara is listed at 5'11" 210.

Defensive back

Blake Gideon is up to 200, and Earl Thomas is at 197.

Chykie Brown and Curtis Brown are both listed as 6'0" tall although Chykie is at least an inch taller.