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My Random Mahalo Thoughts After Returning from Hawaii

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First off, I'd like to thank Sailor Ripley for the $40 per diem he afforded out of the coffers of Barking Carnival. You fuckers need to click more ads so a brother can eat something other than fried Spam sandwiches in paradise.

Two. It sounds like J'Covan Brown will make it in, which, on its face sounds pretty good for Texas Basketball. Upon some reflection, especially after 5 Mai Tai's, maybe not so much. I fear J'Covan's game and especially his mindset might not be totally conducive to getting production out of Bradley and Hamilton. Hell, I'm fearful it will piss off gray beards like Pittman and James. In my humble opinion, Brown's role on this team is better served as a designated gunner off the bench. If he's to be a focal point of the offense, I think his style has the propensity to crowd out the talent around him. Give me Lucas or Balbay to foster that extra pass mentality and defer to the core group. Rick is likely to have an issue of too many chiefs and not enough Indians if he gives Brown a huge role.

Three. I've learned not to ask Scipio's world-traveled ass for advice. When he told me I'd have a better time picking a fight with a Polynesian warrior prince than I would have at the USS Arizona, I believed him. A big middle finger and a black eye to the guy that brought you ipowers.

Four. Jaysus, it sounds like Darius White is headed to Oklahoma. I'm trying to figure out the angle here, but I doubt it's your prototypical pay for play, easy academics, or playing time situation driving him to Norman. I'll chalk it up to David Spade dating supermodels syndrome. I mean, ou is ugly and certainly doesn't have a big hog. Right? WTF?

Five. I spent $12 on a McDonald's combo meal in Maui. My first move upon arrival to the mainland was to move my 401k to gold. Ben Bernanke has some 'splainin to do if I need a bailout to supersize.

Six. Looking at the College Basketball landscape next season on my 8 hour plane ride home I can't help but think Texas is going to wreck shit next year. We've got three legit lottery picks that will get significant minutes next season in Bradley, Pittman, and Hamilton. After that, we're experienced and deep as shit at all five positions. If Barnes is the maestro I think he is, we'll grab a number 1 seed, walk to the elite 8 and bludgeon a top 15 team to punch a ticket to the final four. Before, during, and after that, the Horns will have the huge competitive advantage of having the best big man in the nation. Plus a supporting cast that would make Pervis Ellison jealous.

Seven. Golf in Hawaii is tough, because it's windy and shit. And other than the old stand by domestics, they only serve Japanese beer.

Eight. Jordan Hamilton, per Scout, has been wrecking shit. Not playing well. Not exceeding expectations. But absolutely blowing up. He's one and done according to Burnt Orange Beat (Twitter: @BurntOrangeBeat), and I trust these cats.

Nine. The blackjack game on the airplane is rigged. It forced me to watch reruns of House.

Ten. Did you know that Texas football was just plus 6 in turnovers last year? If we were plus 7, we likely play for a National Championship. I'm guessing we're plus 20 this year. It's fucking on...

Eleven. Did you know Pervis Ellison had dreads, before dreads were even cool? If you suck in the NBA, you'd better make up for it with fashion sense.