clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

There is a Judas among SEC coaches

The SEC coaches released their preseason All Sec team last week. There were many deserving selections, but it will be forever remembered for an unpardonable sin committed against Him. Him is He. He is Tebow. The Holy Trinity of college football. According to the Book of ESPN.

What was this abomination? What was this eschatological faux pas? Tebow was not the unanimous choice as the All Sec quarterback. This crime is so severe that the Amish recommend the death penalty. It is truly unforgivable.

Although this betrayal was prophesied in ESPN the Magazine, we do not know who it was. But because the Jesuits taught me to read ancient Musburger and Danielson, I've been able to subject the original source material to textual analysis.

The name that has been revealed to me iss, of course, Satan.

For more on the Barking Carnival obsession with the Tim Tebow obsession, try this.