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And another thing! Tre Newton should start.

Not because of his running ability, which is no better or worse than anyone else on the team (although it's better than any of us expected.

Early scouting reports weren't promising, as the term "clown feet" was prominently involved. But the guy knows how to play football), but because he's the only one who adds anything to the passing game. Which, gladly, is all our running game needs to add.

Zone defenses used to be about grass. Guys would drop back into their "zone," if you can follow the lingo, and cover anyone that ran through. This would leave predictable open spots that numbskull salary dumps and run and shoot coaches could use to break into the industry before Nick Saban and Bob Stoops ruined it for everyone.

Today defenses feast a bit more on popular patterns run against zone. Instead of covering grass, defenders will "commit" to a player and essentially cover man from that point on, ideally after the WR's break. This leaves the underneath coverage with the freedom to crash on any crossing or outlet routes. Anybody who is running an offense from 1997 will have trouble with this unless his team is filled with talented improvisers.

If you aren't prepared for it, things can get hairy, because defenses are generally designed to stop the last wave of offenses. We're still in the last wave of offenses, no matter how many WRs we trot out. We flirted with modernity with Vince Young, but came back after 24 months after finding out that Colt McCoy can't run quite as well as Young. The man in charge of this decision nearly makes a million dollars a year. Let that sink in.

Anyway, The trade off with zone defenses used to be that they wouldn't give you anything deep but you'd be free to dump off and do short shit all day long. Colt McCoy can do short like like Trips Right can pretend to understand basketball. The problem is that our running back group is comprised of a guy who was moved to RB from WR because he can't catch, a guy who can't stay healthy, a fat kid, and Vondrell McGee who has 9 fumbles in 2 games. Yes, let's trust this group.

If that outlet isn't available or can't perform, the entire structure of the passing attack collapses. We don't have the creativity to create opportunities short, so we have to attack 15+ yards and take advantage of the underneath when the defense isn't there. But if those one or two guys aren't getting open on account of a couple LBs, then nobody is getting open and Colt has to scramble. Newton is the only guy I trust in a pass pattern, he knows how to block, and he knows how to run, so therefore I deem him the most productive option. He's the nicest, most yellow piece of corn in our shit offense.