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CBS Employee Drops Pants, Clicks ‘Publish’

If you're fired via email late at night, and nobody else is copied on it, did it really happen? writer Gregg Doyel might find out very soon. He's made a fun game of trashing a new college football conference every week in a No one is worthy!

merry-go-round, but this week he took things a little too far given that Doyel's employer, CBS, has a multi-billion dollar contract with the conference, the SEC.

SEC football is overrated, and this is a dangerous position for me to take. Dangerous, because CBS has a working relationship with the SEC. At its highest levels, my company pays a lot more money to broadcast SEC football than it pays to publish me. Between SEC football and myself, one of us is expendable. And it's not Tim Tebow.

He meant to say 'immortal'. Easy mistake, read on:

That said, I can't do it. Not for a second longer. I can't carry the water for a football conference that can't carry its own jock.

In this era of Fortune 50 corporate-sponsored journalism, that's the equivalent of leaving a dump in the break room microwave, grabbing your hot co-worker's tits in a crowded elevator, then dropping your pants in the lobby on the way out to lunch. Basically, an average Tuesday for Trips Right. In fact, I see nothing wrong with it.

Doyel will probably get the Office Space treatment from the lackeys at CBS, earning himself an unexpected promotion.

"We see a lot of talent in you, Greggo."

Of course, later on in the same article Doyel touts USC as a valid national championship contender because Matt Barkley was not available for greatness when they lost to that 3-5 powerhouse otherwise known as the Washington Huskies. That team who hadn't won a conference game in two seasons. I guess the freshman QB who had only played two career games and is actually the illegitimate spawn of Ian Ziering and a 90210 extra really was the difference! Or maybe it's because USC's defense has played like some of Lubbock's fattest little girlfriends this year? Or because you can set your watch to USC shitting the bed against it's weakest conference opponent every year? Retweet that, Pete! All of them. With pictures, if possible.

Enough about the Trojans. Their fate is not up to humans or computers or polls. The Gods rule Troy. Mere humans like Doyel are fallible, after all.

But back in SEC country, something is rotten in Destin. Or Gainesville. Is there really a difference?

The wind's blowing, and it's up to the human element in the BCS system -- the voters -- to feel it blow. Or they could use another of their five senses. They could use their smell.

Because compared to its hype, the SEC stinks.

/Clears out 401(k). Starts training for run at MMA glory.