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Hungover Thoughts on Yesterday’s College Football Action

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Many thanks to Vasherized for the micheladas and Texas Chili Parlor burgers. Solid work. Perfect post game atmosphere to watch the abortion that is SEC offensive football. Dark, Cold, with AC/DC blaring in the background.

I had to double up on jalapenos to stay awake. We did shots of tequila after every explosive play so I manged to stay relatively sober.

Interestingly enough, the other game showing was Penn State vs. Ohio State. And I'll start my random piecing together of the day's football events with this game. Terrell Pryor looked like a poor man's Vince Young which can be deadly when coupled with a fierce defense. Especially when said defense is playing against Darryl Clark, the black Bucky Richardson.

Speaking of stereotyping, can we scrap the Ed McCaffery descriptor when talking about Jordan Shipley? I heard some ESPN talking head throw it out there last night. That's just lazy. The only things Ed and Ship have in common are that they are receivers, white, and have talented brothers. I've heard the Ricky Proehl comparison, and I can tolerate the racial code because it's somewhat original. Wes Welker is weak, but I suppose I can see it if you sell me on the X's and O's. Here are a couple more that I'll float as a sort of interweb experiment to see if it takes. How about Lance Alworth? Golden Richards? Tim Dwight? See how easy and asinine this is. Nearly as asinine as...

Not playing a talent like Malcolm Williams when your replacements are James Kirkendoll, Greg Smith, and John Chiles. It's not like Kirk and Chiles make multiple NFL caliber plays over the course of any ball game. They've both had big drops this 2009 season so please don't go there when arguing the point with me. And Greg Smith, he better be Johnathan Ogden dominant in the running game if he's going to replace what Mal brings to the table game in and game out. It's douchebaggery at its finest. You need look no further than the other side of the ball to see that you play the players that make plays. When Kirkendoll stiff arms a DB and runs for 15 yards after contact or John Chiles makes ANYONE miss in the open field I'll listen to the counterpoint. Otherwise, get this young man the preponderance of the snaps at the position.

In other coaching douchebaggery. Tulsa coach Todd Graham is an asshat. Telling your defensive players to feign injury on every play to slow down an up tempo offense is teh ghey. And the Golden Hurricane faked cramp after cramp on virtually every play to slow down the Cougar offense last night. And it worked, the Cougs only scored 46 points. It would have been comical if it wasn't so blatant and frequent. It is why so many folks hate soccer and it needs to be addressed with an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. Oklahoma pulled this crap in the RRS last month and it goes beyond the pale vis a vis acceptable gamesmanship. Ask Jahvid Best about faking injuries. There's no place for this crap in our game.

On to two coaches whose stars may be falling.

Mark Richt, and Bob Stoops. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. And no, a win against a Diivision II school doesn't absolve you from Hungover Thoughts, Mark. These guys, at different points in time, were considered the creme de la creme of the coaching profession. Now, not so much. At some point, feel free to mix in a win against a top 10 or hell, top 25 opponent.

Pete, keep scoring 14 against the Arizona States of the world and you'll soon be added to the list above. Jeff Tedford, your irrelevancy started a long time ago. Fourteen at home vs. Oregon State. I remember when folks in Austin longed for offensive innovation. Now you're lack of innovation, is offensive.

And finally, let's scrap instant replay since it has obvious become yet another tool conferences can use to further their agenda. The examples of replay shenanigans are legion, but I'll highlight only a couple because my head is pounding. Iowa had two smoke and mirror TD overturns last week vs. IU to help seal the deal. The WAC had to suspend replay officials doing the Boise/SJSU game after they stole points from the Spartans. But to get right back to the heart of college football shenanigans, you have to go back to its roots...the SEC.

The interception non-call in the LSU/Bama game was atrocious and enabled the Tide to avoid a last second TD by a game Tiger squad. Lucky for the Mad Hatter he was, as usual, at a loss for words, otherwise a suspension or fine would have been imminent. $EC!! $EC!!

Look, we get it already, you want Bama and Florida to be undefeated going into the conference championship game. It's a mere formality at this point. So, book your team flights and hotels now and save on your travel expenses. After all, it's all about the money.

Goddamn, 11 am kickoffs suck out loud. My head hurts, I'm sun burnt, and the menudo isn't going down too well. But the Horns are 9-0 and probably the best football team in the land. That's better than a shot of crown with a Tecate back. Tengo resaca. Hook 'Em.