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Texas-Alabama: Faith, Defense, and Phlogiston

I haven't been writing much because I've been slammed with work, recharging my battery while visiting family and friends in Austin,

gaining so much sodium bloating from festive seasonal eating that my now fattened sausage fingers can't manipulate a keyboard without pressing three keys at a time, I've been intensely focused on the new season of the Bachelor and...well, OK, the real reason: I'm not very enthused about what I'm about to write for you.