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Ennui

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, ennui is a French word for sausage made with pork and wine. I’d try some if you haven’t. It’s pretty damn good.

Anyway on an unrelated note

I’m still bummed out about the game. In fact I seem to be the only one who isn’t getting over this. Everyone else seems to have moved on to the Cowboys or basketball or recruiting and I don’t understand it. A terrible injustice has happened here and you people don't even care! Why aren’t you wallowing in it like I am? What the hell is wrong with all of you? It hasn’t even been a week. Moving on with your lives and talking about the future like a bunch of total bastards. I don’t know who you are anymore.

Does this mean I’m more sensitive? Do I just have a more developed sense of cosmic injustice? Do I have a vagina? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

The answer seems to be no, at least for the vagina because I checked (bummer). Still, something is wrong, and I know I’m not overly sensitive. I read a lot of Dean’s letters and sensitive is a code word we use for “cries easily”. I haven’t cried since I dropped a bottle of Talisker on the driveway last year. I have generally been rude to Jehovah’s witnesses. I made fun of a blind girl just last week who was trying to play a cowbell. I thought Marley and Me was pretty funny. I once said “I am God”… during a deposition. I know I‘m not sensitive. As far as cosmic injustice I’m a Red Sox fan, and well used to this shit.

So what gives? How come all of you are moving on like the greatest travesty in the history of –sty’s didn’t just happen? What is your secret?

I’ll outline my coping strategy so far for a reference point:

Sit on my deck all evening with a glass of cask strength Macallan and a Kristoff maduro while reading selected passages from Kipling over and over. After all I think it’s important to keep up your normal routine after something like this. That and Rudyard was a man’s man if ever was. Oh look, they’re hanging a dude tomorrow; let’s write a poem about it.

Unfortunately it’s not working. I usually get offseason ennui anyway but this is ridiculous. And spare me the mental tabulation of missed opportunities or any strategy that involves re watching the game, because I deleted it. I’m proud of the team for not quitting and the year they had etc, but the way this went down still feels like a sucker punch, and will for a long time I think.

You people with closure are pissing me off.