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The Lucky 13

HenryJames doesn't have Internet access during the day and won't for the next six months as he can only access the Computer Machine at his Federal low-security prison at night.

Apparently that's when child predators are allowed free to roam the Interwebs. But this small setback shouldn't diminish his valued thoughts on our latest recruiting haul. Click some ads to help us raise money so we can get the poor bastard out of jail and back to his predatory cubicle in northwest Austin where he belongs. The successful recruitment of a five star running back depends on it!

Blah blah. Opening paragraph. Blah Blah.

David Ash – Good get. He won’t have to play for another three years barring injury, of course, but you have to have numbers at the position in various stages of development. Or you have to rely on a true freshman to…nevermind.

Joe Bergeron – Really like Bergeron. He can play a variety of positions in the backfield, and he can block and catch. Look, I’m still jaded after the whole Matt Trissell, Chad Stevens, Brock Edwards/line up anyone at fullback debacle, but Bergeron is an actual fullback. Really. So much so that his commitment is being used to entice Malcolm Brown that we’re serious about the running game.

Josh Cochran – He can’t bench his own weight at this point. Neither can Vasherized, but we’re not expecting Vasherized to start at tackle for us now are we? We need help at tackle sooner than later, and Cochran is going to have to get bigger and stronger before he can provide it. I’m not saying he won’t, just that he won’t soon. The Aggies have offered him, and that’s my rule of thumb going forward for offensive linemen.

Taylor Doyle – He broke his leg in the playoffs so he’s still in a cast. Supposedly used a wheelchair at the junior day. Why we offered someone this soon with an injury is anyone’s guess. There was plenty of time to evaluate him during the spring, and we could get his commitment at any point. McWhorter had nothing to fear but fear itself.

Sheroid Evans – He’s got the things that you can’t coach, and for everything else there’s Muschamp. He’ll likely be the fastest guy on the field and will cover a lot of ground at safety. And he’s aggressive.

Marcus Hutchins – He can supposedly dunk a basketball, but I want linemen who can move guys off the low block. His reported height ranges from 6’2” to 6’5”. In recruiting always take the lower. That would make him an interior guy where we have a developing glut of players. The Aggies offered. His size is his only knock, but that’s like saying a cornerback’s only knock is his speed. It’s kind of important.

Desmond Jackson – Great prospect. Explosive first step and non stop motor. He’s probably no taller than 6’1”, but he’ll look 6’5” when he’s standing on the center’s lifeless body. Based on my limited viewing of his one on ones at a combine, he can absolutely rush the passer. He can already rip and even did a counter once his first move was stuffed. All the best prizefighters threw combinations.

M.J. McFarland – A cross between Toraino Singleton and Tyrus Doctor. Only Trips knows what that means. He averaged almost 18 yards per catch last year, but it’s hard to judge speed playing in El Paso. Though it’s not hard to buy it there.

Chet Moss – He’s already 19 years old. So there’s that. He’s played both defensive end and linebacker in high school, but he’s an inside linebacker all the way. I’m not excited about the commitment or anything, but I understand that not every player is going to be a five star. Take solace knowing that Muschamp will wring every ounce of ability out of him, much like Sailor Ripley has done with former 3 star blogger Trips Right.

Miles Onyegbule – Bobby Kennedy likes big receivers, and I don’t know why. Since 2006 he’s brought in Josh Marshall, Philip Payne, Malcolm Williams, Montre Webber, Dan Buckner and DJ Grant. Onyegbule has a decent offer list, but he averaged less than 12 yards per catch last year. I think CTJ even did better than that, and that’s setting the bar on the ground. If we’re serious about putting Gilbert under center, there may no longer be a flex tight end position for these wide receiver castoffs. Does Fantake have enough blogs?

Leroy Scott – Dude is a witch. He’s fast, he can cover and he can tackle. He can really tackle. And he’s from South Houston so he’s probably fearless.

Jaxon Shipley – He may be a better prospect than his brother so I’ll nickname him ‘White Chocolate with Macadamia Nuts.’ He’ll likely be underrated by recruiting services because of his early commitment, but he’s a National 100 guy.

Mykkele Thompson – Track guy who will probably line up mostly at quarterback as a senior. Texas told him he’ll play either receiver or defensive back, and I’m hoping for defense provided he can demonstrate the ability to cover and tackle. Otherwise we’ll call him Black Gideon. Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!