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Beat the Barkers NCAA Tourney Bracket

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The winner gets a weekend with sizzlechest, all medical bills paid, in secluded Nova Scotia where screams go unanswered for miles. Runner-up gets the free BC tote bag that has yet to be claimed from last year's tourney. Third place gets to learn what it's like to wake up as HenryJames every day.

Click here to fill out your bracket.

password: damien

Because this season has been evil.

Regional previews and Kevin Berger's completed bracket will be posted in the coming days @marchtomarch. 100% accuracy guaranteed! Lunardi has been stealing his shit for years so use Kevin's roundball prescience against him by copying every single pick (except UTEP). Berger also has way better hair than the plastic helmet Lunardi forges during the 9 months off he has each year.

NIT-bound combover

If Texas has any shot of beating Wake Forest and busting brackets across the land with a win over Kentucky, it needs to channel the powers of one of its own -- Corch Kenton Paulino!

You've just been Pittsnoggled, now redirect all frustrations towards your wedding suit.

GAME ON.