Barking Carnival is beginning its foray into the literary world as we write the tale of a sassy peasant girl growing up in feudal Japan who uses her gift of paper crane-making to unite a nation and become A LEGEND.
Actually, that idea was brutally rejected, so we're going to do a Longhorn sports book called Game Changers, a compendium of the most important plays in Texas Football history. It will feature excellent photographs, interviews, diagrams, and set the contextual stage for our greatest triumphs. We'll also use modern analytic techniques to demonstrate that Roll Left, for instance, may not be the insane gamble that it is so often portrayed as. The intent is to create a resource and a coffee table book, with a sprinkling of humor, analysis, and general celebration. We intend to take you there, build the tension, churn your stomach, and then let you sprint around your living room in exultant triumph, upsetting your children, pets, and likely resulting in a mild ACL sprain.
We're also going to make the process of writing the book as interactive as possible by engaging our readership to provide their opinions and input, excerpting content before its publication for you to weigh in, and generally engaging your feedback throughout. All of us are smarter than any one of us.
So, as your first mission - if there is a key Longhorn play that merits inclusion, throw it out there, with an explanation. We're spitballing. We'd like 50 to start with and then we'll trim it down from there. We've certainly got Vince Young 4th and 5 against USC, Street to Peschel, and Roll Left etc. covered, but we welcome your input on other plays that merit inclusion. We're particularly interested in those plays that have an interesting backstory, as player interviews and getting to the real substance rather than apocrypha will be a crucial part of the project.
Inevitably, you have some questions. So here's a Q&A:
Will it be funny?
Why would we start now?
Why would I buy this?
Oh, I thought you were a Longhorn fan. I didn't realize you were a Sooner or a Thai lady-boy.
In 1921, Rabbit O'Shaughnessy gave the men of Howard Payne whatfor! To not include his 14 yard run is a travesty!
Thanks for that. But the book will have a modern slant. Royal to Brown, primarily.
I'm not a strong reader!
We will have lots of pictures.
I'm afraid if I don't buy several of these books, that the terrorists will win.
I can't argue that.
Will Clipper Cooper be in the book?
No.
Please!
No.
How will you determine the plays that make the cut?
We intend to both cover the most crucial plays that led to championships and big wins, but we're also interested in the plays that gave us hope during the darker times as well. So 1985-1997 will still be covered, greater importance be damned.
Vince Young. Dude. He made a lot of plays.
Yeah, I know. He's going to be featured a lot.
Do you consider Edwin Simmons waking up naked in someone's yard a game changer?
Technically, no.
How many books do you anticipate selling?
Dozens upon dozens.
When will it release?
Next year. Why so many questions? You're like a four year old.
I thought this was a Q&A?
I forgot. Sorry. Carry on.
Who will write the foreword?
My idea is that we will just smear the first four pages with Will Muschamp's blood, each page a Jackson Pollock depicting a different opponent being disembowled. But the publishers are being weird about that. So (fingers crossed) we're hoping for Ron McKelvey.
Just offensive plays?
No. We want defense too.
How long will it be?
About 45,000 words. But some of them will be little words like "Pow!" and "Ga Blam!"
I have more questions.
Feel free to ask in the thread below.
Hook 'em.