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Big 12 Media Day: Bob Stoops

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The #2 rated Golf Prick in the Big 12 was par for the course at Big 12 Media Days.

He lays up on the ninth hole...

Hopefully, our guys are having a great summer. We'll find that out when we get back and start working with them.

Hopefully. Because you and Jerry Schmidt haven't talked at all. I love this illusion that all of the coaches have to sell that they have no idea what the S&C guy did with the team for three months. You know Schmidt was texting Stoops gleefully every time a player accidentally vacated his bowels during squats.

On the health of DeMarco Murray...

Yes. He's had some unfortunate luck with some odd, you know, different injuries.

Freshman year - hit by stray debris from Russian space satellite.

Sophomore year - stabbed with Star Wars X-Wing model at Comic-Con when he cut in line @ Megan Fox autograph session

Junior year - contracted parvo from exposure to friend's pet hyena

Senior year - miscarried Trent Williams' butthole baby

We're hoping in the line of similar to a guy like Adrian Peterson

Good. Except that Murray would need to break tackles, run over people, and not get caught from behind anymore.

Played last year without Donald Stephenson, who coming into the year was a guy that we felt was similar to Trent Williams in ability, and he's in the picture now.

Ah, it is football season. That's the fresh minty scent of authentic Stoops bullshit hyperbole wafting through the air.

On LB Travis Lewis being a laugh riot...

It's one thing to be entertaining without being a great competitor. I'm not much for that. He's what you want and how he works and his toughness and attitude in playing and taking it seriously. But he also, when it's time for somebody to chuckle, he's quick to do it.

I wanna know, when is somebody gonna join Travis Lewis in chuckling when chuckling needs to get done!?

For this football team to reach its potential you need to know when it's chuckle time.

And Travis is the only one chuckling. Hell, half of you are grimacing.

That's like the exact opposite of chuckling.

Four of you chortled. That's not a fucking chuckle. Neither is a guffaw. (makes exaggerated face of disgust)

And Landry Jones. Landry Jones. (shaking head) Goddamn. I don't even know what the fuck you're doing. It's chuckle time and I see you gently weeping. Get your head IN THE GAME, SON.

On Landry Jones...

So he's very similar to the guys -- and we've had a good number of them, like I said before, but we've won championships, six of them, with five different quarterbacks. That says a lot.

Bob. This is why you irritate me.

He has to remind the media that OU has won six Big 12 titles (because no one was aware of this) with five different QBs and then pretends to spin it as a compliment to Jones.

No, Bob. What you're really saying is: I am the common denominator. The QB didn't matter.

And I agree. But do you need to be such a passive-aggressive ass?

Since 2005, OU has lost 17 football games. That's 3.4 per year. In the prior five years, Stoops had only lost 7.

Someone is feeling a tad insecure and defensive.

And now, for me, it's chuckle time.