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Big 12 Media Day: Dan Hawkins

It's the Hawk, brotherrrrrrrrr!

He has been receiving knowledge from Gary Busey in sweat lodges, semi-benching his son, avoiding termination because his employer was too poor to afford it, and is re-reading the Secret to see if he can attract 8 wins with Positive Chi.

So, a typical offseason for Hawkins. The only thing missing was a mountain lion attack and a bungee jump from a hot air balloon.

His Big 12 Media Days.

And right off the bat we see why CU is struggling...

Good morning, guys. I guess it's still morning. I don't know.

Is it Tuesday? Wednesday. Oh.

Summer? Yes. Summer. Good. That explains the kids at home.

Summer of....2003? 2010. No kidding.

Then I'll begin the press conference: tell me coach....what? I'm the football coach?

Oh, I thought I was the reporter. OK, well let's do the press conference that way then. You guys ask me questions.

I'm just always fired up to go. I really am. It seems like the older I get too, the sooner I get fired up. It always seems about July time you're ready to go and chomping at the bit. So very, very excited about that. I have a great bunch of guys I'm excited about being around and coaching, and all that stuff is tremendous.

Ladies and gentlemen, that sounds like an individual who is going 6-6 this year and earning a trip to bowl game named after a power tool.

People have asked a little about the comments about switching conferences. I would just say this: We're very focused on the Big 12, and really, more importantly, we're focused on Colorado State. That for us is kind of in the future

Well, not your future, Dan.

On the QB competition between Tyler and Cody...

Really on any given day, you could probably split them with a razor hair. We'll see how that goes.

I'm not sure Bullseye could split someone with a razor hair, but OK.

One of his QBs can't throw, is 5-11, and doesn't run well. His last name is Hawkins.

The other QB is 6-2 and can run well and can throw a little. His last name is not Hawkins.

Decisions, decisions. What to do, what to do.

Hawkins on recruiting and why rankings are as deceiving as coaching IQ...

I think this is true, and Pat might be able to validate this, but someone told me there are more three-star guys in the NFL than there are four- and five-star combined. Can anybody validate that?

Wow. Why yes, this is true Dan. However, four and five stars are vastly proportionally overrepresented in the NFL. However, there are more three stars than the other two combined because three star numbers dwarf four and five stars. This is a basic statistical concept most of us get in 8th grade.

Next time someone remarks that you're not a coach in an internet debate....

Thank them.

There's plenty of guys -- you know, the Indianapolis Colts this year have three former walk-ons on their football team.

On trying to move forward from last year's disaster...

Well, again, with our team, it really hasn't been so much a case of rallying. I think it's really been a case of going, okay, let's objectively look at-- again, it was awesome when we were hanging out with the Rangers a little bit yesterday because their coaches and their staff would talk about things, and then our players would look at me like "that's what we hear from him."

Colorado's players heard that they will all be cut and traded after sucking for years in order to make way for more talented players?