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A Different Side Of Mack Brown

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This piece by Pat Forde on Mack Brown is well worth a read and a useful reminder as to why the warm and fuzzy community organizer that we see working the media and drawing the love of mamas everywhere is also 130-27 (.828) as head coach at Texas.

Watch this team meeting after the lackluster Rice win:

As a brief aside, I noticed the commercial push for Shyamalan's latest rape of theater goers good will - The Devil. Why would any movie advertise it's by M. Night Shyamalan? Even those he does? I would go out of my way to advertise that my project has nothing to do with him. If I were doing an English costume drama or a buddy cop movie - I would flash in the preview NOT BY M NIGHT SHYAMALAN as a way of assuring my viewers that they won't end the movie wishing to take out the bolts from their theater seat, roll them in a sock, and bludgeon the manager until they receive a ticket refund and a Jujubee coupon.

The Sixth Sense was a very long time ago, wasn't it?

So, Mephistopheles is in an elevator. Riveting! Lucifer meets Die Hard! Satan has taken over Nakatomi Center. I bet he does mean things. I bet it's revealed that the Devil is in all of us! Or it's probably a woman named Dee. Dee Monn. She wears red.

Next series installment - a zombie works a toll booth. Change for a 10, mister? Gaaaaaaaaa. Hey, buddy, you OK? Gaaaaaaaaaaaa. No! No! Not my brains.

...but wait, it turns out that WE ARE THE ZOMBIES! WE ARE THE ZOMBIES. NOT THEM! WE. OH, WHAT A CRUEL, IRONIC TWIST AND A VIBRANT COMMENTARY ON POST-INDUSTRIAL SOCIETY!*

*movie concept 'Tollbooth Zombies' copywrite protected

Back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Some cool things I took from the Forde piece:

- The level of accountability imposed by players having to perform up and downs for Not Our Standard plays

- Mack's constant harping on selfishness and his willingness to confront me-first guys

- His post-practice thoughts on the Dolphin player's $50,000 earring, the UNC agent scandal, calling out H-Town players

- The multimillionaire head coach's wife bakes the entire team cookies, doesn't care if Mack skips their anniversary to watch a football game, and consented to be married during a lunch break after a run through a BK drive-thru. Sally Brown, you are Helen of Troy. Women of Barking Carnival - heed her example.

- The Texas recruiting profile:


ability, plus a background in a winning program; good family values (usually including at least one strong male role model in the player's life); a core GPA of 3.0 or better; leadership skills within the team, school and community; confidence and happiness; toughness and competitiveness; and it certainly helps if the player "likes Texas!"

The strong male authority figure part caught my eye. And it makes a lot of sense. And interesting use of the read receipt function on e-mail to gauge recruit interest.

Muschamp moment:


The room is split between offense and defense, and when the coaches come in, the coordinators go to work. Greg Davis is quietly analytical on his side. Will Muschamp is not.

"They got one fluke, and they hurt us with the zone read," Muschamp says, stewing on two quarterback runs for good yardage. "That's it. Just do your [bleeping] job. Assignment football. Do your [bleeping] job!

I love that all of my readers just read this and immediately stiffened and started filling out their TPS reports. He's not talking to you people.

Some amusing things I took from the Forde piece:

- A trick shot archer? Hitting aspirin. Mack is desperate to break up the monotony. Next, Major Applewhite will ride a Lippizanner stallion.

- In the pre-game Rice video, Mack uses an overhead projector with plastic laminates to put up a series of disjointed images meant to focus the guys pre-game. My 2nd grade home room teacher Mrs O' Neill would have been proud. Next, they all practiced their cursive.

- Greg Davis praising Gilbert for a 2 yard route to Greg Smith on 3rd and 17 so that we can get a long field goal attempt. Well, it's better than a sack or interception, but not quite what we're looking for there, Greg.

- His graceful handling of the awkward deer cross gifting. "Coach Brown, I made a speedo merkin from some road kill and I'd like you to have it."

Best line of the piece:


The first time Brown yelled at Young, it didn't go over well.

"I've never been yelled at by a white man before," Young explained.

"I'm going to be white," Brown responded. "And I'm probably going to yell at you again."