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Essential Game Preparation For Texas/OU

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This is your mid-week Horn-Do list.

Different from a Honey-Do list, in that I don't feel comfortable calling most of you honey ('cept the ladiezz; s'up girls) and it's not a series of mind-numbing household tasks.

First, read The Texas-OU Weekend Travelogue. I wrote that a long time ago and much of the advice is as time-tested as anything Maya Angelou ever told you.

Then read this Texas-OU timeline.

It's a fair encapsulation of the bipolar episodes, pettiness, and euphoria we all experience for a year before the Texas-OU game.

Burnt Orange Nation has a bueno preview.

***

Reading assignment completed.

Do you lack fire? Motivation? UCLA still got you down? How about.....STOOPS FACE!!!!!!!!!!

Admit it, you're a little angry now, aren't you? Vexed. Perturbed. Good. Goooooood. Channel that fury. Harness it. Let the reindeer of anger pull your sleigh to victory.

***

Let's talk practicalities:

The current coverage map for October 2nd.

The announcers will be Dinah Shore, Pete Axthelm, and Jimmy The Greek.

62% of our glorious nation will watch this contest. No pressure at all, Garrett. It's just like playing Aikins High School at House Park.

Also, here are directions to Dallas:

View Larger Map

Now, as you're leaving Saskatoon you want to make sure you bear HARD LEFT on the East Spaldina exit through Moose Nut. That's the most common way people get lost on the way to Dallas.

***

Have you packed everything for Dallas or your sports bar game watching party?

OK, good.

Your woman will start fretting about her wardrobe TONIGHT. It will intensify and reach a crescendo by Thursday mid-afternoon. She wants to wear cute things, but not be too casual, but also be comfortable, but also...Good God, just show her this:

Game day forecast:

High: 80
Low: 58
Wind: NE 7

No chance of rain. Should be a perfect day for football.

***

Here are the latest golf prick rankings compiled by STRATFOR:

1. Mike Gundy
2. Bob Stoops
3. Steve Spurrier
4. Lane Kiffin
5. Ted, in Global Accounting

***

ShaggyBevo (specifically MS Paint king THujone) has put up their legendary MS Paint Thread of Dominance. I am speechless. It is incredibly dirty, so you've been warned. I think it ticks up a notch when a Pawnee is murdered by a penis battle mace.

***

Time to get ready...