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Pelini: Maybe WE’LL Lose by 21

In yet another regrettable gumsmacking burst of intensely phrased Englishy words, Bo Pelini beat reporters to the punch yesterday with their tireless headgames:

Yeah, I said it smack smack Maybe WE'LL lose by 21 smack smack smack Shock the World, Roll Left smack smack Brett Favre's dong at a Tea Party orgy whoopdeesmackfuckingdoo and all that shit.

Next question, James Brown.

Coach, usually those kind of motivational tactics are used by the underdog. Are you sure that's not the gum talking?

And what does this have to do with Brett Favre's penis?

(spits gum in reporter's face)

What gum? I don't chew gum. Listen, I know what the Texas offense is capable of. They're sandbagging and all of you schmucks are buying into it. In fact, I'll be surprised if we're not down 14-0 by the end of the first quarter. DOUBLE In fact -- I'd trade Martinez for Gilbert right now. Yeah, I said it now go type it up on your smartyphones.

With all due respect, coach, Tom Osborne never would have said that.

Tom who? Listen storkfucks, we have one victory in the last nine games against Texas. ONE, gentleman. Now you tell ME why we're favored by 10.

The game is in Lincoln, nobody can stop your quarterback and they can't score?

9 +1 = 10?

Greg Davis watches Yo Gabba Gabba at halftime?

Texas make Virginia Tech look smart?

I'm done here. You heard it here first, rosey cheeks: Get used to 5-1. Hey, who's got some fucking gum?

Maybe he's right?

This is turning into a nice visual mudhole collage, no?

Just sayin' ...