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Hands On A Hardbody? Hardbody Says F Off, Aggies

As long as there are Aggies doing Aggie things, there will be Longhorns documenting them so others will understand why we have Employees Must Wash Hands Before Returning To Work signs at Subway.

Also, it is the offseason.

Aside from the pleasing sound of the aluminum caroming off of his skull, I am most enthused by the Aggie wench holding a sign that says BTHO a Car! (Beat The Hell Out of a Car, in Aggie parlance). Her sign quickly becomes part plaintive plea/part mockery as the nonbelligerent junker proceeds to methodically beat the shit out of this Aggie aided only by physics and the subtle judo of its inanimate nature.

One would think that an Aggie, properly motivated, could best a parked automobile in some fashion - create a dent, bust a headlight, break off a side mirror, but in matters of the heart, Aggie, and motorized conveyance, there are no sure things.

To head off predicted responses:

1. We know we were 5-7 last year.
2. We'll just accept for argument's sake that we're all super liberal and gay.
3. We're also aware of your titles in meat judging, making a horse jump over a fence, and making a horse make a layup, aka women's basketball.

This in no way obviates what we just saw.

Thank you.