Barack Obama Launches Devastating Attack on Barking Carnival

If you can’t throw a baseball, you can’t throw a punch.

Leslie Lynch King, Jr. wins the Presidential Battle Royale.

Wow.

Football season can’t get here fast enough.

what the hell just happened here?

magnus -

Negative.
 
Gerald Ford tripped and impaled himself on his own spit bucket a la Million Dollar Baby after Polk sucked punched him.
 
Did make it to the Sweet 16 though.

I also would add offense # 4 “associating aggie with the current administration”, although at first glance aggie and the current administration may seem strange bedfellows, I draw your attention to the frequent aggie bromide “leading from behind” which has also been adopted by those currently in power.

Do not think they have missed your blog’s frequent ridicule of this innovative idea.

Were I you, I would be chastened. You should expect a battalion of French soldiers to move upon you with the swiftness of Sam Adams, and the resoluteness of a Californian at the brink of bankruptcy. Expect also the deployment of some American combat control aircraft and air tankers.

i think we’ve all known it’s just been a matter of time. sorry if it came as a surprise. i don’t think any of us had the heart to bring it up.

Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine.

Vasherized called me weeping. Literally bawling. He actually hasn’t been affected. It’s just Wednesday.

Just be thankful you don’t live in Austin. I don’t think I can take another Wednesday evening of finding Vash in my front yard, solemnly blaring Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” at full volume out of a ghetto blaster held above his head.

Saw my first “Where’s the tote bag?” billboard today.

First finance, now politics. Allsome!

Can we do string theory next?

Great job, btw. Incident #2 is my personal favorite and the likely culprit.

you’re seriously underestimating Lincoln here…

this is especially true if you’re taking them at the time of their Presidency and not in their physical primes.

To be fair, Harding over Obama is an insulting pick. Dude died from congestive heart failure two years into his first term and the most athletic thing on his resume is “accomplished cornet player”.

ok I’ll bite.

Scip, Who were the Final Four? Tr/George Washington Lincoln and ?

and how did you deal with the odd number crowd in the 3rd round? 44 >22>11? Assasination?

Good news, Scip. Incidents 1 and 2 speak to a classic case of sports-induced Tourette’s. You’ve got a disability claim coming. And there’s probably evidence of dementia on top of it, what with you having Monroe as such a high seed.

The surest side bet was the for the shortest match. Towering over his opponent by a full 12 inches, who couldn’t foresee Lyndon B. Johnson raining a flurry of vertical roundhouses onto the crown driving James ‘Mad Manikin’ Madison through the canvas faster than a railroad spike.

Martin Van Buren will hug a man to death. He’s a dark horse for the elite eight.

McKinley said he’ll fight anyone anywhere provided it’s not at a state fair.

If this were made for TV, there’s no way the execs would let the chance at Adams and Jefferson going at it slip through there fingers. In fact I predict the fight would be so bloody and devastating that both men would die from their wounds on July 4th, 1826.

Aaron Burr wins in a walk if VPs are included.

Chester B. Arthur! Any man with chops makes it deep in the tourney!

This is an actual video from Lincoln’s first therapy session:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsVpdBIi1BU&feature;=related

Washington, the man spent most of his life fighting. And all that time spent away from Martha probably led to some added aggression.

If you play the tape backwards, Obama clearly says “All this will go away quietly, but it will cost you a totebag”.

Couple of nice digs in here from Scipio.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/27/carnival-barkers-slam-obama_n_854702.html

we shall not stay at camelot. it is a silly place.

Ya, washington all the way

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRom1Rz8OA

Here’s the Prezy-Tourney dance-card :

Round 1 — Byes for George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abe Lincoln, Teddy R., Andrew Jackson, Freddy R., Truman, Ike, JFK and LBJ
That leaves 34 others for Round-1 CageFight Carnage (or Thrilling ThirtyFour)
Round 2 is Tantalizing TwentyTwo — 17 bloody Cage-Winners and add in Truman, Jackson, Ike, JFK and LBJ (G-Dub, Tee-Jay, AbieBaby, Freddy & Teddy get double byes)
Round 3 is Sweet Sixteen — 11 Round-2 winners plus five double byes

Bring on the drunk. I’m gonna bend him over my knee like the first time i caught him with blow.

Gotta line up JQ Adams and old man Adams too…love to see father strength keep the little bastards in check.

Lincoln was a huge mutant-freak. Evidence: http://www.cracked.com/blog/abraham-lincoln-portrait-crazy-badass/

Just to be clear: you were the only eighth grader in the world who had read the Gore Vidal oeuvre and enjoyed dropping the word “oeuvre” into your playground conversations.

Yo where my sinecure at? Whaaaat?

You dead, dawg!

Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him when he come in the door, man. She was a hip, hip, hip lady.

Scipio, when are you going to start blogging live from the royal wedding?

Regarding the First Lady, would too.

“Although I love discussing ideas, I hate talking politics, because politics are to ideas what sledgehammers are to window cleaning.”

Well done sir.

As for Emanuel, he’s not a ballerina, he’s a swimmer. Don’t you fucking know that swimmers are way more manly and brutish than ballerinas? Yes, we shave our legs, but doesn’t that suggest a certain confidence and fuck-all attitude that allows one to rile up the uptight and righteous?

Regarding the First Lady, would too.

As long as you realize that Michelle would be playing the man in your relationship.