Will Lyles – AKA "The Fixer"

Holy hell – there is so much gold in there that it’s hard to even know where to begin. My stream-of-consciousness thoughts:

- By and large, idiots are a tremendous detriment to our society in a multitude of ways. However, they at least consistently deliver entertainment value. One of the most charming traits of the true idiot is that he believes everyone else is as stupid as he is. Thus, he will often gift us with the most hilarious and outlandish of tales in the absolute certainty that we will swallow them hook, line and sinker. ‘Will Lyles, innocent victim of Oregon’ may have re-set the bar in this category.

- If the NCAA ‘investigators’ referenced in that article are not fired by Monday fucking morning, it is outright proof that the NCAA is either fully in the bag for money programs or accepting of gross incompetence on the part of its employees. There is literally no third way. To conduct ANY investigation involving Will Lyles and not have ‘Lache Seastrunk’ be among the first 100 words to emerge from your mouth is utterly laughable. Message board readers of uninvolved schools knew the score two freaking years ago, and it ’didn’t come up?’ Seriously?

- The SEC could make some additional money offering remedial cheating courses to some of the up and coming programs in D1. There are probably some bright 11 year olds who could do the same. The degree of direct contact between Chip Kelly and Will Lyles, culminating in a school-sanctioned financial transaction of public record, is the type of stupidity that can only be born from tremendous arrogance. Throughout history, men far smarter and more powerful than Chip Kelly have been brought low by this exact type of affliction, and it will be a tremendous pleasure to watch him follow in their footsteps.

- Glad to see that Lyles has such a meaningful bond with Lache, and such an abiding interest in his well-being, that he happily took a blowtorch to both Lache’s ‘chosen’ institution and his chances of ever playing another down of D1 football. This may be the most blatant case of a young black man both being sold and then sold out by the same person since about 1863. What do you think of that, Jason Whitlock, you fat imbecilic incompetent pandering race-baiting sack of suet, Snickers and s***?

- We’ve touched on the ‘Will Lyles is a blithering idiot’ topic, but Sweet Lord does it ever bear repeating. What was the point of agreeing to this article – preserving his good name so he isn’t fired from Spec’s? He allegedly runs a ‘legitimate scouting service’ and when he’s asked to provide the most remedial of scouting reports he turns in a cobbled-together list with a dead guy on it? Willie, you are bad at scouting, bad at lying, bad at being a human. Die as soon as you can possibly manage.

If Will Lyles thinks UO and Chip Kelley have ruined his reputation just wait until Phil Knight’s black bag squad get done with him.

Not since Homer Simpkins was given the job being the safety operator for the nuclear reactor in Springfield has a bigger idiot, been put in charge of a potentially more explosive situation.

Didn’t Conan O’Brien used to write for The Simpkins back in the day?

A lot of people hold up the Simpkins as the all-time best sitcom, but for my money you can’t do any better than the antics of Sam, Diane, Carla, Cliff and Norm in Cheese.

I predict one of two things happens next. Either-

1. Oregon fesses up, fires Kelly, and takes the NCAA penalty, or…
2. Lyles recants the whole thing and starts wearing a bunch of flashy Nike stuff.

Homer Simpkins is a classic character. But I prefer Family Man’s Peter Geffen.

A few months back, I think one of the Yahoo guys was referring to a couple of stories, and scaled one of them as a 6 or 7 out of 10. The other one he labeled as a 10.

Assuming this is the 6 or 7, and seeing some of this stuff with the inept NCAA investigators (who were equally inept with OSU and Auburn), I almost have to figure that the 10 story would be about corruption at the NCAA itself … perhaps kickbacks or something for them to look the other way.

Which could very well make the NCAA go poof. Places that have either kept clean throughout, or made good-faith attempts to clean up their past crap, will most likely start looking for other options for a governing body.

As an SMU alumn, it’s nice to see this things from the outside looking in for once.

That was one of the silliest, most moronic, most unbelieveable explanations that I have ever heard. How could Oregon have allowed this idiot to be interviewed in isolation?

Is there an April Fool coming? Or is the Oregon AD in complete turmoil with everyone running around paying ‘Chicken Little’, knowing full well that this time the sky IS falling.

Absolutely amazing!

First Lyles claims that big, bad Texas is running a smear campaign against him, and now his “please pity me” excuse is…
"I look back at it now and they paid for what they saw as my access and influence with recruits," Lyles said. "The service I provided went beyond what a scouting service should … I made a mistake and I’m big enough of a man to admit I was wrong."

Gold, pure gold. Surely Lyles is worth more than $25K, but it’s hard to tell whether it should be as a comedian or as a paid medical study patient.

Why would this not be the 10, CJD? He is pretty much outing a program. How can the NCAA not sanction Oregon after this, assuming their (2nd) interview/investigation involving Lyles shows this is all true? Yes, we knew this all along, but now the NCAA has proof (transaction for a list with a dead player) and testimony from an involved party (lyles).

Remember the trial balloons floated by UO apologists a few weeks ago, that Oregon was “taken” by Will Lyles?

Blown to bits. Too much contact, too many phone calls and notes, too much last minute scrambling and coordination to create a “product.” Oregon is instiutionally in trouble.

Someone alert LSUFreek – we need a .gif featuring a clip of some ducks getting shot down in Duck Hunt with Willie Lyles popping up as the laughing dog.

Wait, does Willie Lyles REALLY work at Spec’s???

Nobis, how about one with Lyles as Doc Brown and Oregon as the angry Libyans?

nordberg -

Only if we get a followup of Biff and his buddies with their heads buried in shit to portray the NCAA

“Places that have either kept clean throughout, or made good-faith attempts to clean up their past crap, will most likely start looking for other options for a governing body.”

I don’t know whether to laugh at this moron’s self-righteous stupidity, or cry because there are human beings walking on 2 legs that are this brain dead. Lyles is fucked, Oregon should be fucked, but I’m not holding out any hope that the NCAA will actually do the fucking.

As a fan of Texas and the Washington Huskies I feel like Christmas has come six months early.

Generally it pays to be cynical about the NCAA, but there is no way this can be swept under the rug. Not with this kind of smoking gun out there in the mainstream media. And especially not with the NCAA’s new president, Mark Emmert, talking tough about cracking down on cheating.

I predict that Kelly will be forced out by the Oregon administration. And that a real full-scale investigation of Oregon’s program will discover some Nike connections that are not exactly within the spirit of the rules, even if they might be within the letter of the law.

And that a real full-scale investigation of Oregon’s program will discover some Nike connections that are not exactly within the spirit of the rules, even if they might be within the letter of the law.

You mean like all of college basketball?

Drew:

Good point.

I don’t think it is arguable that Kelly and Oregon are horsefucked, however. Even if you take the most benign reading of Lyles story, Lyles was clearly acting as a booster for Oregon after there was an agreement to pay him to “influence” recruits. And possibly before that as well. That means there were probably hundreds of illegal contacts between a booster and PSAs.

The fact that this all happened at the behest of Oregon’s coaching staff makes it all the more egregious. There isn’t even a whiff of plausible deniability here.

AND you have an attempt at a cover up.

Game, set, match.

I think that Chip Kelly and/or Phil Knight were late with the hush money.

The NCAA will throw Vanderbilt, Rice and Northwestern under the jail house before they even begin to look at Nike.

@ srr50- Pure truth.

>>The NCAA will throw Vanderbilt, Rice and Northwestern under the jail house before they even begin to look at Nike.

That’s likely true. Unfortunately for Oregon and Kelly, they don’t even need to look at that stuff for UO to be pretty screwed.

ncaa is in a sticky situation. they realize they are in trouble with the public, and i’m sure that scares the crap out of them. i don’t think they expected the backlash from their money decision last season when they decided to go green and look the other way on auburn and ohio state. my guess is the ugly public (including some media) response was a very unpleasant surprise to them.

so now they’ve got this extremely public mess on their hands, and, however they might like to go softpedal, they have no choice but drag out some sort of play-like scaffold.

the big, big fear for the ncaa is to have to go after auburn. dead last thing the ncaa wants to do is vacate another title. so if they can help auburn decontaminate their runaway reactors and tidy everything up, all the while they noisily decapitate poor oregon in a public display of outrage, they must hope that will satisfy the public blood lust.

i think we can count on seeing something like that. hope here is the media types call that out before they can do it, and stymie that effort. personally, i doubt the media has a moment’s interest in doing anything beneficial to the sport — except yahoo. maybe they won’t be sated and will keep the irons hot.

“One of them was dead,” he said. “I didn’t know he was dead”.

Well, that’s reassuring. Just 24 carat gold, y’all!

"One of them was dead," he said. "I didn’t know he was dead".

Well cross him off the list then.

They will probably double Perry Jones III’s five game penalty to ten for all of this!!!!

I think I’m going to stop paying taxes. Taxes aren’t a part of my rules – they’re the government’s rules. Uncle Sam’s rules.

Not only did Conan write for The Simpsons, he wrote the monorail episode.

A couple of weeks ago I was scanning the Oregon site, Addicted to Quack. They were motherf**ing Texas all over the place for the Lyles thing as well as accusing us of all sorts of things, they seem kind of resigned to their fate today.

How credible is Lyles? What axes does he have to grind? Not getting paid definitely colors his feelings towards Oregon. Is he being truthful or spiteful?

He can be both Flash.

If this were a Hiassen novel, then I would bet some Deep South $$$ bought his silence on some of his relationships and broadcast rights to his Oregon contacts.

How he ended up in front of a Yahoo tape recorder and not behind a Nike desk I’ll never know. Lyles’ stupidity, and even Kelly’s, I can understand. But is this how a major multi-national conducts damage control?

Shakedown – yes, if that major multi-national is BP.

If the NCAA does nothing else, at least sanction them by stating they can only have 2 uniforms (home and away) and they must be solid colors other than the numbers and names.

Good Sports by Brooks on this situation as well: http://www.sportsbybrooks.com/what-lies-behind-lyles-settling-oregon-score-29770

“BaylorCattleGuy said:

July 1st, 2011 at 3:21 pm

They will probably double Perry Jones III’s five game penalty to ten for all of this!!!!"

BU has connections to Lyles too. That’s how you got Ahmad Dixon.